


The Bond Between the Broken (A Star Wars Story)

by HobbitWrangler



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, Death, Depression, F/M, Friendship, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romance, Slow Build, The Force, Violence, Young Ben Solo, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8006260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitWrangler/pseuds/HobbitWrangler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts with a girl: Brighid Curan. The youngest Jedi Knight of Luke Skywalker's new Order. She is smart, short, and powerful-- more than she knows. Then, enter Ben Solo, the son of a smuggler and a princess. Two years older than Brighid, yet becomes her first apprentice, much to the chagrin of both Ben and Brighid. As Ben struggles to complete his training, the animosity between the newly risen First Order and the Resistance reaches it's boiling point. Ben Solo becomes Kylo Ren. Luke Skywalker disappears. What will Brighid become?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It’s dark. The two moons that orbit the planet stand at full attention in the night sky: one pointing dead north, and the other rising in the West. A young jedi scans the forest, her fingers digging into the tree bark. The rich fibers scratching against her thin leather gloves. She shakes her head. Nothing. The forest is empty; devoid of any natural life. Even the owls pulling back from the hunt. Their hoots dying as a great silence settles over the brush.

Tentative, like a bunny, she moves through the thicket. Left hand hovering over one of her sabers. The other is strapped across her back. She hopes to the stars she won't need it. But, the forest is quiet, and the silence brings the screams of pain, currently bombarding her mind through the Force, to the forefront of her worries.

She cannot stop. She will not go back. Nothing is there. Only death and ruin. The smoke from the attack rising faster than the sun trying to crawl it's way over the snowcapped peaks of the vast mountain ranges to the east. The first sign of winter falling from the sky in flakes of grey and white snow. 

Smugglers, Raiders, Bounty-Hunters-- the vultures of the Galaxy had claimed this planet as their home hundreds of years ago. This made it the perfect hide-out for the Jedi after Order 66. The Empire could never gain the loyalty of Wild Space. No one could. But, there were still secrets hidden in these Jedi bases. Secrets that a good few were willing to murder for.

She can just barely see the cockpit of her x-wing. The R2 unit already in place. It's lights shining warily in her direction. Her legs pump faster, muscles straining against the pain tingling down her spine. Would she ever forget what she saw? The dark red blood of her friends and fellow Jedi spilled over the artifact sitting heavy in her pocket; pools of it, spread like rivers in the tiny spaces between the stones. How did she survive? 

The bounty hunters, Mandalorian from the shape of their helmets, had them surrounded. There’d been no time to escape, the blasts from their guns ricocheting off of their lightsabers, until one-by-one the Jedi fell to the floor, motionless, dead. Their faces bloodied, covered in black marks from the blasts. Why didn’t they kill her? They had her cornered, and without a word, lowered their guns, letting her pass out of the ruins, and back into the relative safety of the forest. Why did they let her go? What motive did they have to let her live?

“Ready to go?” she huffs, struggling for breath as she swings her body into the cockpit; helmet on before R2 can respond; hand on the throttle. “Engines started. Prepare to retract wheels, Artoo. This is going to be a tricky takeoff.”

R2 retorts with a serious of worried beeps. If she had more time the jedi would have tried to console her metal friend. But there was no such thing as time anymore. 

They barely clear the forest. Bits of trees stuck to the underbelly of the x-wing. A stray shot whizzes past the cockpit. She can see the inner workings of the red streak as it passes by. The tones of blue hidden within, like the licks of a flame. It penetrates a tree to their left. The wood shattering as the x-wing crashes out of the forest.

Back, on the surface of the planet, she can see the other two ships, meant to carry home her fellow Jedi. In a sharp blast of red light, they explode. No doubt the bounty hunters covering their tracks, making sure no one else could leave this planet. She struggles to swallow the lump in the back of her throat. 

“Set a course for the outer - rim.” her tone clipped. She maneuvers around the controls like a seasoned pilot. Hundreds of flights beneath her belt, the first before the age of eleven. Her father had never been one to count on in times of crisis. Better to rely on one’s own abilities, natural or not. 

R2 does as he is told. No retort for his current master. Skywalker is waiting for them. They could not fail. If they failed the others would have died in vain. Could they live with that?

An imperial cruiser bursts into orbit. A squadron of tie-fighters shoots out of its sides. The pod of black casting a shadow over a cluster of stars. Though the Empire died with the Emperor, a new enemy for the galaxy was rising from the ashes; and they did anything they could to get their hands on old Jedi knowledge. The hairs covering the top of her arms prickle, a sense of dread coating the back of her mouth. Did they hire the bounty hunters?

“Shit, shit, shit,” she curses as R2 arms the x-wing. Her finger hovering over the trigger. The scanner fills with red dots. Would they have enough time to enter hyperspace? The hyper drive hummed, recharging as she fiddled with the trigger.

“NOW ARTOO!” She screams. The full strength of her hand presses down on the trigger. A single tie fighter whizzes past them. It’s wings dissolving into bits of debris. The rest of the ship barrels towards the planet.

A stray shot collides with the left wing. 

“Shit!” she swivels her head. Heart stopping. The wing is still intact. The flames extinguished with the press of a single button; grey flaps slamming down onto the fire. “Thank the stars.” 

They escape into the quiet of sub-space just as the rest of the tie-fighters reach their position. A sudden jolt rocks the ship. Her helmet hits the side of the cockpit with a low thud. A hiss escapes through her clenched teeth. For just a second, everything is red, anger seeps across her skin like a sunburn, but, it disappears, just as quickly as it came. She closes her eyes until R2 reports they've reached their destination.

“It’s a bit bumpy once we enter the atmosphere.” she speaks aloud. Though R2 already knew this. “I'll take the controls, buddy. You did a wonderful job.”

R2 makes a sound close to a laugh as they break through the clouds. An endless ocean of blue forming below them. The largest continent of Dornea hidden behind the horizon. A smaller, almost unnoticeable pattern of islands rising in the distance. Home.

The green peaks are a beacon for the pilot. Along the side of the cliff, she could see the foundation of the new Jedi Temple. The walls were still just scaffolding and wires, but soon-- she could sense it-- soon, this would be their new home. Her heart drops as the ship makes its final descent. The x-wing shaking as it touches the dry ground.

“Run a diagnostic on the left wing, Artoo. I’ll see who can work on it later.” She orders as she slips out of the cockpit. Her arms still shaking from adrenaline. 

A group of children wait around the makeshift landing pad. Their faces as different as the mix-matched patches of their hand-me-down clothes. A taller figure is the first to approach the x-wing. He waits until the pilot removes her helmet to speak.

“Did you get it?” His eyes roam across her face. Cataloging the short gash across her freckled cheek. The result of a branch. Her real injures hidden beneath the dark cloak. “Brighid?”

She perks at her name. Yes, she muses, that’s my name. Brighid. It tastes foreign on her tongue. No longer does she feel like the girl he addressed. Brighid’s hair was short, hers was long. Brigid understood the force, she cursed it. 

“Brighid?” the man shakes her. 

Brighid looks up, finding the light blue eyes of Luke Skywalker staring down at her; in them she found the safety she had longed for during the past month. 

When she finished her trials, over a year ago, Brighid had assumed the life of a jedi consular would be less dangerous than that of a jedi guardian, or sentinel. Then the First Order appeared; like a ghost rising from beneath the wake of an avalanche. Their cold grasp reaching further and further into the galaxy with each passing day. Would her life ever return to normal-- well as normal life could be for a Jedi?

“Luke.” Her eyes widen, as she suddenly remembers what she had left for. The mission that had sent her into the den of the beast. Was it worth it? Her hands dig into the pocket of her cloak. Fingers gripping the small piece of metal. A map. “I found it.”

“Let me see it.” 

She nods, dropping the jagged metal piece into Luke’s hands. He almost sighs. 

“Thank you.” Luke places his free - hand, the metal one, on her shoulder. He knows, can see the remnants of the Hidden Jedi Temple burning in her mind, the stench of decaying flesh lingered in her clothes. The others would not return. She drops her head. No tears fall, but her throat feels like she's been screaming for hours. 

“I’d like to sleep.” Brigid straightens her back. Her moment of weakness over. She gazes at the familiar, yet distant faces that surrounded her. The last Jedi. The New Jedi.

“Of course.” Luke pushes her forward. The crowd opening and closing around them. “We can talk later.” 

A face she recognizes, with a name she has forgotten, takes her hand. The girl is small, possibly nine or ten years old. A large gash crossing the bridge of her pudgy nose. Luke says the girl’s name, but Brighid cannot bring her eyes from the wound. 

“Brighid?” 

She lifts her gaze to Luke; slowly, like time is passing much faster than her brain can handle. 

“She will show you to the camp.”

“Of course.” 

Luke drops his arm, letting them continue on the path towards their makeshift settlement. He watches until she disappears in the fog before following. His fingers tightening around the map. Hope flourishing in his stomach.

Brighid would not see Luke for a week. She spent most of the first three days sleeping. Her dreams plagued with fire and screams. The screams of the jedi she had been forced to leave behind. She didn't sleep for the next two days. 

Those that walked past the makeshift training area heard her grunts from morning through night. The Humm of her sabers echoing in the large hut. Twin blades, one a dark blue and the other a squeamish green. She was the prime example of a Jedi Consular: Reserved, but brilliant, as well as a great warrior, and researcher among their small order. 

The younglings that watched her fight found her movements harsh and strategic, until she pulled the green blade from her back. It was shorter than the blue. The synthetic crystal deep inside it's core unstable, swirling between yellow and green as it moved through the air. It was only at her most dire moments that she wielded both blades. For the second was the most likely to kill-- Without hesitation.

As a Padawan, she’d been a weak fighter. Her mind always distracted by the past, or the books she’d been planning on reading after the session. Old scars, inflicted by the training droids, had long since faded, but, the pain, the searing pain from plasma swords and blasts, would remain with her for years. Luke spent hours sitting with her, talking through the things that haunted her, horrors that she referred to kindly as “daddy issues.” It was only because of his patience that she could even focus long enough to build her sabers-- let alone wield them. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Brigid paused mid strike. Her sabers wooshing back into their containers. She turned towards Luke.

“I'm sorry, Master.” Her head falling forward. “I assumed you were busy.”

“Too busy for you?” She could hear his smile. Feel the hope cloaking Luke in a ball of light. Yet, she felt none of it. A shroud of darkness weighed heavily upon her shoulders.

“Yes, Master.” Brigid lifted her gaze. Replacing the frown on her lips with a small smile. “Though I did think you would have come to me by now.”

“You needed rest.” He said, with a sigh, noticing the dark circles beneath her eyes. 

“I did. It was nice to be back in my own bed.”

“You haven’t spent much time in it. Why?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Should I even ask?”

“You know the answer.” Brighid turned, picking up her towel, and canister of water. She shook it: empty. “They’re dead because of me. I was weak. I’m working to rectify that weakness.”

“Brighid,” Luke placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to turn. “Their deaths weren’t your fault. You were ambushed. If their deaths are anyone's fault, it’s mine. I sent you all on that mission. They knew the risks. They took the oath the same as you and I.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that they’re dead and I’m not.” She hissed. “They’re dead because I was too weak to protect them!”

“Brighid, they chose to protect you! So that you could bring the map to me. They sacrificed themselves for the common good.”

“I have to be stronger, Luke. I won’t let myself be caught like that again. Never again.” Brighid shook out of Luke’s grasp. She slid her sabers into her bag. “You know I’m not strong enough. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to do this alone, Brighid.” Luke said. “Let us help you.”

He had a point. Brighid couldn’t do this on her own. She was too weak to do it on her own. Why was she so weak? Why couldn’t she be strong like Luke, or the other Masters? She needed their help, if she was to gain the strength necessary. There was something coming. They could all feel it, it clung to the air like the ripe stench of cow manure.

Brighid nodded, once, in agreement and Luke pulled her into an embrace. Brighid placed a hand on Luke’s back, patting it once before Luke released her. He placed the palm of his metal hand on her cheek. It was cool, and smelled slightly of oil. A small smile lifted Brighid’s lips. She would be okay-- As long as she stayed with Luke she would be okay.

“I missed you.” Brighid said. Her fingers danced over the edge of her water container. “I missed this island, and even the younglings. It was tough being out there, on my own. I was scared Luke. I was so scared.”

“I know,” Luke sighed. He removed his hand from her cheek. “I’m glad you’re home. We all are. And we’ll help you control your strength, I promise. Now, come along, I have something to show you.” Luke stepped back, giving Brigid time to follow him out of the hut, and across the way. To the top of the hill. The entrance to the caves. 

“Have you found something?” Brigid huffed. While Luke’s legs allowed him to take the steps two at a time, Brigid had to jog to keep up. Her stature short and squat compared to the taller jedi. 

“I don't know.” Luke muttered. Refusing to meet the girl’s gaze.

“What do they say?”

“Nothing.” He stopped. “Nothing since-”

“It’s grown quiet in the shade.” She agreed. It had been weeks since Master Kenobi had visited her. She missed the companionship the passed-jedi brought. That and the history he was able to impart. Why were they so silent? What was keeping them away?

“Something has awoken.” He stepped into the cave, turning to frown at the sky. “Nothing is as it should be.”

“Have you-” she paused, tongue trailing over teeth. “Have you had another vision?”

“No.”

Not another word was spoken for the rest of the evening. 

Master and Apprentice followed the map through the twisting tunnels, deep into the heart of the mountain. The further they travelled from the entrance, the hotter it became. From the depths rose fumes and crystals. A river of magma swirling beneath them. Thousands of stones sparkling in the dim light.

Life forms moved in the shadows, tracking after the Jedi. Brighid heard their bodies slithering along the cavern walls, but they never came too close-- as if they permitted them to be here, yet didn’t fully trust them. She sensed they were incredibly old, their bones forged along with the Island itself. What were they protecting?

A boulder blocks their path. Together, they build their focus, and with the lift of their arms, the boulder shifts, and rolls out of the way. As they step through the threshold a great presence pushed down on both jedi. A swirling of energy around each simple movement: the flutter of eyelashes, a warm glance, an intake of breath. Brigid’s grey eyes glitter in the darkness. Luke can barely contain his excitement. It’s like he’s a young boy back on Tatooine, running along the sand dunes, meeting Ben Kenobi, and discovering the Force. It’s everywhere, consuming, and chipping away at the fear on his heavy heart.

The Kyber crystals glow like pockets of starlight. From the looks of the cave, they’d have enough to supply generations of Jedi. Perhaps there’d even be extra to look into creating the memory-crystals Brighid used to pester Luke about. Before memory-crystals had only been used to store data on all force-sensitive children in the galaxy. But, Brighid proposed they could be used in much broader- and to her, more important- ways. Holocrons could break, or fizz out. Kyber crystals ran on the Force. It would be a self-replenishing energy source. 

Luke carried the crystals out of the cave in a heavy leather bag. As they exited the cave, he placed a hand on Brigid’s shoulder. Dust from extracting the crystals coated both of their bodies. They looked like ghosts. Luke swept a few layers from Brighid’s shoulder, before giving up all together. Brighid couldn’t help but laugh at the way Luke’s nose wrinkled. 

It’d been so long since he’d heard her laugh. It was a burst of joy, like fireworks during freedom celebrations. When Brighid laughed her whole face turned red, as if she’d sent too much time in the sun, and her cherub nose scrunched like a little pig. 

Luke looked down at the bag of kyber crystals, then back up to Brighid’s flushed face, and a gentle, serene smile curved his chapped lips. Maybe they would be okay. 

That night they held a ceremony for the three fallen jedi. Since their bodies had been left behind, symbolic pillars were erected on the cliffside facing the sea. Tiny, stone columns, with no names or ornamentations. It was like they never existed. 

Brighid stood in the back. Her hood pulled high over her head, covering the sharp look on her face. She would not cry. She refused to allow guilt to over-run her mind. Now there were only three Jedi Knights in their Order, one was Brighid and the other two was Kemah, a human-woman aged 23, and a Cerean-male, Jeryn Mundi (no relation to the great Jedi Master Ki-Adi Mundi), aged 24. They were still out on another mission, attempting to regain relations between the Cereans and the Jedi. 

Luke addressed his Order in a solemn voice. Four out of six of the other Jedi Masters stood near him, placed strategically between the cluster of eleven Padawans and Younglings. Tears dotting a few cheeks of the younglings. These were the first deaths they had experienced in years.

“I know some of you are scared,” Luke touched the head of a young Twi’leck. “But, I ask that you be strong. The Force is with us, it always will be. Take comfort in that.”

Brighid nodded along with her Master. If there was one good thing in this universe, it was Luke Skywalker. This would keep her on the path to Jedi Master. To restoring the galaxy to its former glory: Before Vader, before the Emperor. Back to an age of enlightenment, and peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello! Welcome to my lil Kylo Ren/OFC story. I've already completed it, so do not fear, there will be an ending! But, there's quite a ways to go. Ben Solo should show up in the next chapter or so, depending on how I chop it up. I'll be posting two chapters every week. Let me know if you want both at the same time, as I've done here, or spread out (ex: 1 Monday and 1 Friday). 
> 
> Do let me know in the comments what you like/don't like! Sorry about there being no sexytimes, but Ben and Brighid are both awkward teens, and my vision of Ben/Kylo is very dumb when it comes to that. So, bare with me, and enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Luke stood in the middle of the younglings, all six of them, who stared back at the Jedi Master like he was the King of the World. Though, perhaps he was the king of their world. He certainly was the Master of it. They watched with as much sincerity as younglings can muster as he wielded his saber in a choreographed dance around the grass area, deflecting the bolts that shot out of the round practice droid with ease; even the ones that shot as his back, his lean body spinning with speed and agility that one day these younglings would too learn to control

What made Luke decide he wanted to train new Jedi? Was it the satisfaction of continuing a legacy, or being a part of something bigger than himself? No, Luke wasn’t one to brag, not anymore. He’d been humbled by his time fighting against The Empire. Perhaps he just wanted a family? A group of people to take care of, like a foster father.

“Jedi Curan,” Luke said, pushing off the helmet that blinded him. The younglings followed his gaze, to find Brighid hovering in the background of their session. Her arms crossed tightly against her chest, fidgeting, as Luke called all their attention on her. 

“Hello, Master Skywalker.” She stepped forward. “Hello, younglings.” 

“Hello, Jedi Curan,” the younglings said in unison. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Brighid, we were just talking about the many powers of the Force. Young Ones, do any of you remember Jedi Curan’s niche in our order?”

“Master Skywalker, what does niche mean?” Asked a young boy.

“Great question, Petyr, would you like to take a guess?”

The boy shook his head.

“Brighid?” Luke smiled at her, imploring her with the nod of his head to enter the session.

“A niche is a skill set, like Master Skywalker’s gift with the lightsaber, or Master Medina’s medical expertise. We each have a...uh... special gift that our study of the Force enhances.” Brighid explained. 

“What is your niche, Jedi Curan?” Petyr asked.

“My gift is Finding things, lost things.”

A young Twi-leck raised her hand.

“Yes, go ahead,” Luke implored.

“Does this gift fit into the three areas of Force Powers that you’ve told us about?”

Brighid looked to Luke. Was she supposed to answer this? What was his plan here? She hadn’t taught a class since she passed her trials, over a year ago, and then, it had been history she taught to the younglings; not about the Force. 

She was still working on the second aspect of Force Power: Sense. Force-Sensitives, whether they were Jedi, Sith or Mystics, worked towards the mastery of Control, Sense, and Aspect. In the holocron on Force Powers, created by Master Bodo Baas, he stated that “control is internal. It is the Jedi's ability to recognize the Force in himself and to use it to his benefit." It was the first aspect Jedi were taught.

“Yes, Danera, Brighid’s niche is a part of both the first and second aspects of Force Power. Very good. What else does a power like the ability to locate objects, or people, say about Jedi Curan?”

The same Twi-leck girl raised her hand. Luke motioned for her to answer.

“She is in tune with the inner workings of the Force, and-and how it affects the world.”

“Perfect again, Danera. Brighid is a very powerful member of our Order, and her strength comes from the mind, not just physical strength like Master Kontoothu. She is very valuable to us.” Luke stared at Brighid as he spoke. This wasn’t just a lesson for the younglings, it was his way of trying to help her overcome the guilt. 

“Will you stay, and join our meditation, Jedi Curan?” Asked the little boy from before.

“Only if you all promise to call me Brighid, okay?”

“Yes, please stay, Brighid!” 

“Please, please stay!”

“You have to stay!” Commanded Danera. That girl had spunk. A little too much for Brighid’s tastes, but Danera was young, and curious. What was wrong with that?

“Alright, alright, uhh--I’ll stay, but you have to pester Luke about the time he saved Han Solo from the Great, and deplorable Jabba the Hutt.” Brighid said as she sat on the sun-warmed grass. 

The younglings nearly jumped on Luke, begging and screaming to know the story Brighid teased them with. She watched as Luke playfully wrestled with the younglings, their tiny arms pulling at his tunic as he laughed and laughed and laughed. This is what Brighid had missed. The feeling of home, and the people that thought she was worth something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter is a bit of a filler, but I wanted you to get a bit more acquainted with Brighid, and who she was as a Jedi. I also thought the Younglings should get a little "screentime." Also kudos to anyone who catches little hints and nudges towards other popculture/star wars characters that aren't in this story. If you don't catch them it's oke! I mainly did it for me!
> 
> Next two chapters will be out next week, unless I decide to be nice. Look for them to probably be out on Friday. 
> 
> OH ALSO Thanks for reading! It means a lot! This fic is unbeta'd, so sorry for all the mistakes. My bad, but also, only my eyes see it before I post so there will be mistakes. 
> 
> (Also, because I'm a part of that generation, I own none of these characters--besides my OC's-- and the Star Wars Universe is owned by Disney not me, so yah. Just because I'll get paranoid if I don't do this at least once.)
> 
> <3
> 
> p.s. Ben will be in the next chapter. As well as his awesome mommy, and my queen: Leia.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Decided to post the third chapter early... mainly because Brighid finally gets to meet some important characters... *hint hint wink wink*
> 
> Let me know what you think 
> 
> <3

“Concentrate,” Luke hisses.

Brighid’s eyes flash open, a spark of unkempt anger flares around her pupils, before they settle back into her normal blue-grey. The lightsaber before her shaking; the new crystal hovering, buzzing as she attempts to place it where her synthetic one had been. She does not move an inch, though her brows tremble with the energy and concentration she wields. With a click, the saber melds together, landing safely upon her lap. 

“Master?” Brighid offers her weapon towards Luke, rolling the hilt in her upraised palms. It is heavier than the blue saber that is hidden beneath her cloak. As the weight of the second saber is taken from her, a pod of bile rises in Brighid’s throat. Her mind racing, fighting to keep the fear from consuming her waking thoughts. Her breathing erratic, fingers curling inward. 

“Control your feelings.” Luke whispers. 

_Vrrooom._ The whoosh of a saber igniting echoes in the room. 

Brighid opens her eyes. She stares at Luke as he twirls the short blade through the air. The color flickering between yellow and green. It’s hum is harsh, and tiny sparks fly off the tip. Brighid’s head drops, a sigh escaping her parted lips. Failure, clear and abundant, fills her aura. The saber flickers once, twice, before the blade slams back into it’s hilt.

“It is raw, and powerful. You must be careful with this one, Brighid.”

He places the saber back into her hands. Why wasn’t he mad? The saber had turned out just like old one, unstable. But, he did not undo the saber, approving the construction against Brighid’s judgement. The fear dissipates immediately as the hilt touches her hand. A warm, almost serene, feeling of home spreads from the back of her skull- to the rest of her body.

“You mustn't let your anger consume you,” Luke admonishes, squatting beside his young friend. Her eyes, cat-like in the low light of the fire, filled with the swirling emotions tormenting her mind. Luke sighs. She is so young, barely eightteen, and yet- yet she is forced to go through so much. Because of him.

“Master?” Brighid senses the regret rolling of Luke like tar on the back of her tongue. Does he regret bringing her here? Or does it go much further than that?

“The darkness is unavoidable.” Luke states. “I feel it too.”

“You do?” Brighid whispers.

“Yes,” Luke pauses. Placing his hand atop Brighid’s smaller one. “Just like the light, it is all around us. We must learn to control it. To allow it into our souls, and use it to further power the light. You cannot allow it to control you.”

Brighid lowers her body to the ground. Struggling to find the words to explain to Luke that there is no controlling the darkness within her. She could bargain with it, fight it, or let it consume her. There was no control.

“Do you understand?” Luke’s hand squeezes tighter around her own, forcing Brighid to look back into his stormy gaze.

“Yes, Master.” She would speak to him later- when she found the correct words. As her mother used to say, words meant everything in this world. To communicate was to survive.

“Master Skywalker,” the curtains of the hut ruffle as a young padawan slides into the room. His eyes wide, and chest heaving. Luke nods for the boy to continue. “There is a message for you.”

Brighid and Luke exchange glances. Who knew where they were? Brighid stumbles to her feet. Grabbing the two small bags beside her pallet. Already shoveling clothes into them before the boy speaks again. It was only a matter of time before they were found.

“It’s from General Organa.”

Brighid freezes. Luke grasps the shoulder of the padawan. Waiting long enough to look back at Brighid, his eyes asking her to follow.

“Bring me to her.”

The newly appointed General stood tall in the holocon. But, Brighid couldn’t help noticing the way the general’s hand clenched, and unclenched. As well as the staccato rhythm of her request.

“Luke,” Leia began. “I need your assistance. Ben’s left again. We tracked him to Naboo, and then to Takodana.”

“He should be here,” Luke bit out. This what not Ben Solo’s first disappearance. For years now the twins had been arguing over the training of the young boy. And for years, the General had won. Though, by the tired look in Leia’s eyes, it seemed Luke would finally get what he was asking for.

“You trained me,” Leia stated. Her fingers trailing over the lightsaber at her hip. Brighid had never seen the other Skywalker in battle. But, from the few times they had met, she could sense the power Leia wielded. “I assumed I could train my own son.”

“Ben is troubled.” Luke’s voice was soft. It was the tone he used when Brighid’s world was grey and cold. “I can help him, Leia.”

“I hope you can.”

They landed on Takodana two days later. General Organa was waiting for them. Her hair pulled into a tight braid, though a few tiny strands had pulled loose. They flickered across her face in the breeze. She stood with her hands clasped behind her back, and a tight lipped grimace on her face. She looked like a victory statue.

“Hello, brother.” The two jedi embraced. “You look old.” Leia brushed her hand through Luke’s shoulder length hair, the once blonde strands dusted with grey, before gently resting her palm against his cheek. Her eyes twinkling in the mid-day sun.

“Leia.” Luke pushed Brighid forward. “You will remember my apprentice, Brighid?”

Leia smiled, the warmth passing over her features, before settling in the dark pools of her eyes. She and Brighid were the same height, so it was easy for Leia to sweep over the younger girl’s features. Probing her mind proved to be more difficult. Brighid didn't move a muscle throughout the interrogation.

“You seem capable, jedi. But, how will she help us?” Leia moved back to her brother.

“Brighid is adept at _finding_ things.”  

“Is she?” Leia glanced back at Brighid. A small smile curving her full lips. Perhaps she did approve of the girl.

“I will do everything I can to help find your son, General Organa.” Brighid bowed her head, struggling to keep up with the pair. It seemed though the General was the same stature as Brighid, she had grown accustomed to taking longer strides. This, the general noticed. She stopped in front of Brighid, grasping the girl’s shoulders.

“I was not expecting your help, but I appreciate it. Ben is a good boy, just lost.”

 _To you or the light?_ Brighid wanted to ask. But, by the way the General’s eyes enlarged, knew the question had been heard anyway. She closed her eyes, awaiting the strike from the General. Brighid knew better than to think such thoughts. Her father had taught her better.

“I apologize General-”

“Shh, call me Leia. It is only fair, since you will be the reason we find my son. I can feel it.” Leia lifted Brighid’s chin. Her eyes still warm. Not an ounce of anger radiating in Leia’s aura. She passed a thumb over Brighid’s crimson cheek. “Do not be afraid of your thoughts, and never be afraid to voice them. Even if you think it will anger me. As for the answer to your question- I don’t know. Everything is clouded around Ben. Always has been.”

“We will help him.”

Leia nodded, looping her arm through Brighid’s. Luke sent her a small smile, before returning to the conversation with his sister. Brighid’s attention floated to the edge of their group. Cataloging the landscape around them. The towering trees and seemingly random rock formations.

Leia’s camp was stationed near the edge of a large forest. A lone tent constructed in the open meadow. Takodana is a green planet, covered in rough maze-like forests, and deep lakes that spread into even deeper oceans. On this side of the planet there was a serious lack of civilization. The only other major settlement was the home of Maz Kanata; an old friend of the three companions. Brighid had expected to see her here. The old-smuggler was the most Force-Sensitive being she had ever met. As well as the most likely to stick her nose in business that wasn’t her own.

The three jedi entered the tent. Around the inside edge were poles, each carrying a simple light; as if to encase the inside of the tent with a calming aura. In the center of which sat three mats. Waiting for them. Apparently Leia had been expecting Maz as well. Leia motioned for them to sit. Luke took off his cloak, while Brighid elected to keep hers on.

“So far, I have been able to pinpoint that Ben is hiding somewhere in this section of a large forest. But, my connection is weak. I-”

“You worry too much.” Luke finished for her. “It clouds your judgment.”

“He is my _son_ , Luke! Of course I’m worried.” She bit back.

“I’m sorry,” Luke frowned. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Leia sighed, patting her brother’s hand. The moment of tension gone. Replaced by a sadness that permeated the rough exterior of even the most seasoned jedi. The General’s feelings projecting in rippling waves of power.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore. Ben is constantly fighting with me, with Han- The Republic has turned against me- I just, I don’t know what to do. Nothing is as it should be. The Galaxy was supposed to be a safer place after the fall of the Empire.” She sighed, dragging her hand down her face, smoothing the skin around her chin. “I can’t spend all of my time searching for my son. Especially since it seems he doesn’t want to be found. He’s just like his father, stubborn and crafty. Too crafty for his own good.”

“We will find him.” Brighid promised. Earning herself a scathing look from Luke. It was unwise to make promises one did not intend on keeping. But, in this case, Brighid wanted to find Ben just as much as Leia. The pain she saw in the General’s eyes hurt her deeply. It was a pain she had seen too much in this universe. The loss of one’s child could ruin a good heart; and Brighid would not see Leia burnt by the loss of her son.

The afternoon quickly evolved into night. Luke sat with Leia, as they tried to locate Ben. But, it’d been hours, and by the way sweat was rolling down their necks- it wasn’t working. Brighid, on the other hand, could feel the very magma swirling beneath the planet’s crust. Could hear the bird’s across the planet, chirping and settling into the nests for the night. The quiet hum of electricity in a dark, forgotten room. A thumping heartbeat in the middle of the forest.

“I can feel him,” Brighid whispers. Returning back to reality for the first time in hours. A buzzing in her ear. She shakes her head, but it stays; a constant nag on the left side of her head.

Leia moves from Luke, taking Brighid’s hand into her own. Her fingers trembling against the younger jedi’s grasp. Their eyes lock. The room swirls, everything melting into shadow.

Silence.

Then, a voice appears. Rough, and deep. The voice of a man.

_“I love you.”_

_“I know.” Leia appears, and smiles at the man, as if they are sharing a private joke. The wrinkles on her are forehead gone. Her hair is free, rolling in waves across her shoulders and down her back. She kisses the man: Han Solo. He smiles, his arms drop to Leia’s waist. Hands spread across Leia’s growing stomach._

The memory fades. Brighid opens her eyes. A single tear rolls down Leia’s cheek. She quickly swipes at it, as if trying to swat away the memory too. Brighid’s stomach drops. She was not meant to see that.

“Leia-” She chokes on her own spit. “I-I-I-’m so sorry. I didn’t-” Leia’s memory was so pure. So full of love. Brighid had never felt something like that.

“Shh,” Leia consoles the younger jedi. Wrapping her arms around Brighid as they both shake. Leia for her lost son, and Brighid for the want of something so pure in her life. “Find him.” She whispers, pouring all of the emotion she feels into Brighid’s heart. All the memories of Ben as a baby. The first time she held him. The first time he spoke. To the last time she saw him; with tears streaming down his face, and his wild hair billowing in the wind of the landing pad. He was so angry; at her, at the world, at everything.

For the slightest moment, the planet stops spinning. Brighid’s focus narrows, her mind flying through the forest. Past a shallow pool, and a lone jaguar. It stops at the entrance to an ancient ruin. A young man stands amongst the rubble. He leans against the stones, hand pressed to his damp face, sweat trickling down onto the forest floor. He looks up, eyes squinting in the dark: Ben Solo.

“I-I see him.” Brighid chokes out. Her eyes flash open. Leia’s body quakes. “I see him!” Brighid swivels to Luke. Her own body shaking now.

“Good.” Luke states. “Is he safe?”

Brighid closes her eyes, focusing on the place she had seen Ben. And there he is again, rummaging through a bag. A fire crackling beside him. Safe, unharmed, alone.

“Yes.” Brighid sighs. The surge of energy dwindling from her veins.  

“Oh, thank the stars.” Leia exhaled. Her fingers trailed over Brighid’s face, wiping away the streaks the tears had created. She pushed a stray strand of hair back, behind Brighid’s ear. “Thank you, for finding him.”

A blush bloomed on Brighid’s already crimson cheeks. Here she was, being consoled by General Leia Organa: the galaxy’s savior. Her- a simple Jedi- who had been born to an unknown seamstress. How did the universe get her here?

“I’m glad I could be of use.” Brighid mumbled, bowing her head in a vain effort to hide her embarrassment.

“Get some rest.” Luke stood. He looked at Leia, and as their gazes locked. Leia nodded.

Luke and Leia left for a nighttime stroll. Their heads close together as they exited the tent; speaking in hushed tones, and leaving Brighid to her thoughts.

She sighed as they left, the stress from the past few hours leaving her body in that simple exhale. Now that she’d found Ben, it would be easy to track him to the ruins. She could still feel him now; he was asleep. A shallow red light of a surveillance droid rotating around him.

“You should be sleeping,” Leia scolded. Brighid jumped, her hands spreading out beside her. Leia smirked, and brought a mug filled with water to Brighid. Luke was nowhere in sight. Leia noticed her wandering gaze, and smiled. “Luke was always the walker. I get bored very easily. It’s too quiet out there.”

“He loves walking around the island at night, too.” Brighid took the mug, sipping on the water as Leia took a seat next to her.

“You really should sleep,” Leia argued, sliding her thumb over the dark circles beneath brighid’s eyes. “You're too young to have these.”

“How well do you sleep?” Brighid asked. She didn't know a single Jedi who slept regularly.

Leia dropped her head, a smirk twisting her full lips. She pulled Brighid closer, wrapping her arms around the young woman. Her motherly instinct coming out to play.

“I hope you’re okay with physical contact, because we’re a family of huggers,” Leia warned. Placing her head atop Brighid’s.

 _It was nice_ , Brighid thought. Perhaps a bit too much. But, It’d been years since she’d been able to sit with her own mother like this. Or any other being, to be honest. She didn’t go around looking for comfort. Being a jedi meant distancing herself from others, though Luke’s new Order didn’t keep that rule as strictly as the past Jedi Order. It was too difficult not to get attached to people you saw as often as they did. Luke’s Order was a family, not a organization. They looked out for each other, and took care of each other.

“Luke and I have decided that you will go get Ben tomorrow, alone.” Leia broke the silence.

Brighid swiveled in her grasp, backing away from Leia as she did. An expression of doubt covering her face.

“Why?” She choked out. She had met Ben once; and that had been over six years ago. She didn’t know what to say to him, nor how to convince him to come back. Wasn’t that the whole reason Luke was here? To get his nephew, and bring him home.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Leia said. “But, Ben is not easy to deal with. And to be frank with you- he has a temper.”

“So, you’re going to throw me into the dragon’s den?” Brighid shot back hotly. They were just like her father, sending her into perilous situations, just so they wouldn’t get hurt. _Send the girl, she’ll be fine. No one would hurt a girl._ Brighid huffed, running her hand through her hair.

“No, we believe-”

“Y _ou_ believe,” Brighid corrected her. “Luke wouldn’t agree to this.”

“No,” Leia took Brighid’s hands. Forcing the girl to look her in the eyes. “ _We believe_ , that your fresh face will surprise him. You’re honest, and a force to be reckoned with. Ben has no weapons, and poses no real danger to you. He will trust you because you’re a jedi.”

“I won’t do it.” Brighid declared. “I won’t be a-a pawn in this game.”

“Brighid,” Leia said, in a voice that dared to be resisted. “Listen to me, I swear on the life of my brother, my son and my husband, that I sincerely believe you to be the only person on this planet with the ability to coax my son to stop running. I _need_ him to come back. He’s drowning, and you and Luke and the other jedi are the only ones who can save him.”

Brighid dragged her hand down her face.

“Do I have a choice?”

A small, sad smile trembled across Leia’s lips. She shook her head. Just like Brighid had assumed. She’d been brought here as a pawn, to be used anyway they saw fit. There was no freedom in this universe, especially not for a jedi. Brighid sighed. This was her life. She said yes when Luke asked her to join his order. She signed up for this.

“I don’t like being used,” Brighid grumbled. Leia squeezed her hand. She knew, she understood. A princess never chose anything. And now, as a General, free choice seemed even more elusive than before. “But, if both Master Skywalker, and _you_ , agree that this is the best course-” she paused. “Then I will do as you wish.”

“If there was another way...” Leia said softly. The last half of the phrase drifting out of the tent with the breeze. There was no other way. The decision had been made.

“Tell me about Ben.”

They spent the rest of the night discussing Ben Solo. When Luke finally returned, at around sunrise, the siblings helped Brighid pack her bag. They filled it with at least two days worth of provisions, and medical supplies. Leia was never one to be unprepared, and she would force that same lifestyle onto Brighid. It didn’t take long for them to ready her. Few words were spoken, but Brighid already knew everything she needed to know. It was time for action.

“Bring him home.” Leia pulled Brighid into a tight embrace. Nearly squashing the girl. It lacked the same comfort as last night. Or, perhaps, Brighid did not feel as attached to her hero.

“May the Force be with you, Brighid.” Luke took Brighid’s hand into his own. Cool blue eyes shining proudly at his young apprentice.

Brighid sighed, slinging the pack onto her shoulder. She waved once, watching as the siblings moved closer together. Their faces alight with worry. Before she could convince herself to stay, Brighid channeled a burst of energy, using the Force to propel herself onto the branch of the closest tree; entering the forest.

Brighid focused her energy into the vision of the ruins as she moved further into the thicket. Jumping from tree to tree, she envisioned the high stone archway, and the cracked columns. They appeared in her mind like snapshots in a holobook. The details unfolding with each step she took closer to her destination.

This forest was so similar to the one she had been in over two weeks ago. The only difference was that she wasn’t running from something, but towards Ben Solo. That is what kept her anxiety from ruining her concentration. She couldn’t disappoint Luke.

She passed the lone hot spring, stopping only to refill her water container. The closer she got to the ruins, the more energy passed through her limbs. It became easier to swing across vines, and dart across narrow, moss-coated boulders. One moment there were trees, and then nothing. The ruins appearing out of nowhere.

Her heart stops. The ruins are a part of a Jedi Temple. She can feel it in the air, how the Force accumulated in its walls. It is beautiful. The high archways decorated in thick ivy, overgrown from years of abandonment. She wants nothing more than to run her hands along the strong marble columns. But, a flicker of movement stops her.

It’s Ben. He moves in and out of the entrance. A bundle of sticks floating beside him; barely off the ground. A lone holocron sits, broken, outside of his pack. It’s screen is cracked, like it was thrown against a hard surface. She can see no weapons, only meager provisions. From the way he saunters, Ben looks unfazed, without a care in the world. Brighid huffs. He’ll care soon enough.

“Hello Ben,” Brighid stepped out of the shadows. Her face framed by the hood covering her head. Ben stuttered to a halt. His dark hair bouncing onto his shoulders. Fear covering his aura. “Don’t be afraid. We’ve met before. I come in peace.” In a burst of wind, the hood fell to her back. Revealing her light grey eyes, and round features. It was dramatic, but she _had_ been taught by Luke Skywalker.

“I’m not afraid.” Ben growled. “Just surprised.” Ben’s voice was rough, and curt. She was not what he was expecting. His mother, yes. But, not a short girl-- a Jedi. His gaze flickers between her face and the saber attached to her hip. That seemed to calm him. “Though, you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t remember you. I’ve met a lot of people.”

“Yes, being a General’s son will do that.”

“Two Generals.”

“Of course.”

“Did my mother send you?”

Brighid’s lips curled into what Ben assumed was a smile. Though the light did not reach her eyes.

“Yes, and Master Skywalker.”

“Luke?” Ben forgot himself, and strode towards Brighid. He towered over her by at least a foot; even though he was only a year older than her. His eyes were dark, like Leia’s, and so full of hope. “My uncle is here?”

“Yes, that’s what I said. They are waiting for us-”

“I can’t come back with you.” Ben stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest. So dramatic. He _is_ the son of Leia Organa.

“Of course not,” Brighid sighed. Fighting with all her might not to roll her eyes. She takes one step closer, and the ringing in her ears turns into a shriek. She frowns. Something is here. Ben tilts his head quizzically at her expression.

“What-”

“Shh,” Brighid cuts him off. She pushes past him, placing her hand against the closest column. Energy courses through her veins as a small voice calls out to her.

 _Yes, come closer,_ _child_ , it says. The voice slithering through her mind like a wyrm; settling in the back of skull. She turns to Ben. His eyes are wide.

“What was that?” He repeats. There were no voices last night.

Instead of answering Ben’s question, Brighid strolled into the temple; following the feeling that tingled up and down her spine. Ben trailed after her, out of curiosity or spite, she did not know. His gangly arms knocking into the doorways they passed through. The sound they made echoing in the temple, most likely alerting whatever smugglers still made this their hideout to their location.

“I’ve searched the place, there’s no one else here.” Ben answered, feeling her anxiety floating through their shared air like a thick fog.

“Something is here.” Brighid mumbled, ducking into another room.

This room was long and narrow, with rows of shelves and cabinets. The ceiling arching high into the sky, and the floor littered with animal droppings. A cold sweat coats her palms as she picks up a random datastick. She holds it up to her eyes to read the inscription etched into it’s base. Her eyes widen twice their normal size. She cannot help but release a high pitched noise into the stale air. They’ve stumbled into a treasure trove.

“What does it say?” Ben can’t help but ask, peering over the girl’s shoulder. Just a few minutes ago she had been as stoic as any warrior he’d ever met. But now, as she danced about the room, pulling holocrons and holobooks from their shelves, Brighid seemed like the young woman she really was.

“This,” Brighid paused in her dance about the room, holding a holobook in one hand as the other swirled lazily in the direction of a case of datapads. She held them aloft without a glance in their direction. Dust floating off the top of each case. The Force flowing through her like lightning. “Is the testimony of Master Koon regarding the custody case of Baby Ludi.”

“That’s already recorded in the Jedi archives back on Coruscant.” Ben muttered, sitting at one of the long tables. His interest waned. This was just scrap.

“This is our history!” Brighid slammed three boxes down in front of the boy. Running a frantic hand through her tousled hair. “I can’t believe _you_ lead me here.” She slides into a chair, shoving the holobook into a random box. “This is what I’ve been looking for. I can’t even imagine what else is hiding in this room.”

“So you’re not even a real jedi. Just a historian.”

“You can’t frazzle me, Ben Solo. This is the find of the century. Just wait until I show Luke. He’ll-”

“I’m not going back with you.”

Brighid groans, nearly slamming her head into the table. This boy was so thick. Who did he think he was?

“Now you’re starting to think like my mother.”

“Stay out of my head,” Brighid growls. It is a warning. One Ben ignores.

“You like her, _no_ \- you envy her. The power and ease in which she operates. How calm, and in tune she seems with the Force.” Ben sighs, his voice shaking like the ripples in a pond. “You’ve never seen her on a bad day.”

“Ben. Stop.” Brighid demands. A harsh throb pulling at her temples, like a vaccum trying to suck all of her memories out into the open. The sharp tang of electricity coating her tongue.

 _Show him. Teach him._ A voice murmurs in Brighid’s ear. Her fists clench. She begs Ben to stop. But, he can’t hear her. He’s lost in the tunnels and arteries of her brain.

“There’s something else,” Ben mutters. His eyes are blank as he travels through her mind. Riffling through her memories like a binder full of stories and pictures. He can only catch glimpses of her as a child, with short hair, and bruises from rolling down great green hills.

Then another flash, and she’s older-- sitting in the seat of a junker, shaking as she pilots the piece of metal through hyper-space. Her co-pilot passed out in his seat. The aroma of sour beer flares Ben’s nostrils. The man’s hair is littered with grey. He wears a black uniform, the buttons askew- as if he hadn’t been able, or didn’t care enough, to secure them correctly. The shape of his mouth the same as Brighid’s.

“Your father,” Ben gasps. There’s something familiar about him. Ben had seen his face before. In an old holocron-

“GET. OUT.” Brighid howls. Her right-hand jolts into the air. A blast of swirling energy slams Ben against the wall. Dust sprays off beside him like snow, and freezes as it reaches the field of Force that Brighid manipulated. Brighid closes her fist, and Ben chokes out a strangled gasp. Air forcing its way back into his lungs.

 _You could crush him now._ The voice crooned. _Feel how brittle his-_

“You should take care who’s mind you force your way in to,” Brighid hissed. She dropped her hand, shoving it into the pocket of her cloak, Shaking her head to rid herself of the dark thoughts. She glanced at Ben, watching as he forced his way onto his feet. She frowned. Why did she let her fear control her like that? Ben was young, and un-trained-- or at least partially trained. He didn’t deserve that. What had she done?

“I think-” Ben coughed. “I think I’ve learnt my lesson.”

Brighid nodded. She sat back at the table, and watched Ben walk around the room, stretching the sore muscles from his arms and legs. Brighid couldn’t help but feel guilty. She’d caused him more pain.

What Ben didn’t know, when he connected so carelessly to someone’s mind like that, was that they could potentially see right back into his. Like he’d opened a two-way frequency.

She could still see the images that had flashed before her eyes, as Ben riffled through her memories. She’d seen him as a child, scared and alone-- in the cargo hold of a Republic Cruiser. He’d been crying for his parents. But, the only creature in sight was a lone protocol droid; and it did not seem to be bothered by the boy’s crying. He’d been forgotten by his parents, and she had a feeling this wasn’t a single occurrence.

“Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty, Jedi.” Ben scolded. He swung his legs over a chair, resting his upper body on it’s back. He held out his arms, wiggling them about for Brighid to see. There were no marks, or bruises. No sign she had brutally slammed his body against the wall. “My mother’s used the Force on me numerous times-”

“I’ve never used it on anyone. Not like that. Not on an innocent.” Brighid stated. “Luke taught me-”

“Luke actually taught you that?” Ben asked excitedly. “My mother just makes me meditate, _for hours_. I always end up falling asleep. I think she forgets about me, to be honest. She’s never actually let me touch a lightsaber. Claims they’re too dangerous. That my emotions aren’t in balance enough to wield one.”

“Leia _is_ a Master.” Brighid reasoned. Though, the term Jedi Master didn’t mean the same thing as it used to. But, Leia wouldn’t refuse to truly train Ben unless she had a good reason. Though, Brighid hadn’t seen any real darkness in Ben. He hadn’t lashed out at her once. Not even when she attacked him. There had to be an explanation. “Well, if Leia believes-”

“NO!” Ben shouted, slamming his hand against his clothed thigh. His hands trembling as he clenched, and unclenched them. There was his infamous temper. Brighid couldn’t stop the smile from twitching her lips. Was this what Leia was afraid of? He reminded her of a pouty child. Harmless. “She only does it because she’s afraid.”

“Of you?”

“Yes... No. I-I don’t know. She refuses to tell me why.” Ben grumbled. His temper lowering to a simmer. Perhaps all he needed was someone who would listen. “I’ve asked her over, and over again to tell me why. To help me understand. But-” Ben shaked his head. “It doesn’t matter. If I can’t be a Jedi, then my life is worthless.”

“Ben-”

“You wouldn’t understand, Jedi!” Ben hissed. “You have everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“So, this is what you’ll do instead?” Brighid gestured to the room. “Hide in old Jedi Temples, and moan about what your mother won’t allow you to do?”

“That’s not-”

“You can’t fool me, Ben Solo.” She stands. Hands on her hips, a position his mother wielded when arguing with his father- or anyone for that matter. But, it’s the fire in her eyes that hold Ben in place. She wouldn’t allow him to wither into nothing. Not like this. He deserved more. Brighid could feel the power simmering beneath his skin. He just needed help. He needed Luke. “Hide in the shadows all you want. But, if you are done with this woe-is-me act, come with me. Together, Luke and I can show you how to control your power. To become a Jedi of the New Order.”

“I don’t have choice, do I?” Ben eyes the saber strapped to her side, again. He has no weapons.

“You’ve been caught since I landed.” Brighid confirms. Ben would not be leaving this temple on his own. It did not matter to her if she had to drag him back to his mother unconscious. It would be done, and then she would be allowed to catalog the knowledge they had stumbled upon. A win-win situation in her mind.

Silence.

“The New Order, huh?” Ben sighs.

“It has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?” Brighid drops her hands. She returns to her seat. No blood spilt. Skywalker will be proud.

It’s too dark to traverse the forest when they reach the entrance to the temple. They set up camp in it’s foyer. Brighid crouched on one side of the hall, Ben huddled in the other. His pack laying in a ball by his side. A fire crackles between them. The sounds of the night filling the silence.

Brighid settles into a meditative trance. Her mind floating to the ceiling above them. She can feel the sharp crackle of the fire in her soul, hear each subtle scuttle of the mice across the floor in the room three doors down. Everything is so alive here. So full of energy. How did Ben find this place?

“What are you doing?”

Brighid’s moment of peace shatters. She opens one eye, the left, better to see the look on Ben’s face from across the room. He sits cross legged like her. His hair still a mess. The ghost of a beard growing on his chin. He looks tired, and hungry. She digs in her pack, refusing to answer his question, flinging a protein bar at him instead,,and closing her eye again after she hears him catch it.

Ben munches on the protein bar, unable to tear his eyes away from the jedi across the room.

“Who are you?”

Brighid opens both her eyes this time, just to glare in Ben’s direction. He asks her again. She sighs.

“Why so talkative now, Solo?”

“ _Ben_. I go by Ben. Not Solo.”

 _Hmm._ Brighid opens a protein bar, breaking off a piece before sliding it in her mouth. It is chalky, and hard, but it will keep her energy up for the trek tomorrow.

“I don’t know your name.” It’s both a statement and a question.

“Didn’t look for that when you were rifling through my thoughts?”

“Wasn’t important.”

“Now it is?”

“No.”

Brighid snorts. Breaks off another bite of the protein bar. A sharp pressure taps at her temples. She smiles, waving her hand at Ben. It’s no use now. She’s learned well enough from Luke how to protect her thoughts.

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Not important.” She smiles, a wide toothy grin. It is Ben’s turn to snort. “I’m just a simple historian, right? Why should the _great Ben Solo_ care about a lowly jedi like me, huh?”

“You look like a cat when you smile like that.”

“Luke has mentioned that before.”

Ben sits up at the mention of his uncle, crumpling the wrapper of the protein bar, before throwing it into the fire. His aim is perfect, as it should be. But, Brighid is looking for more faults. More points of weakness. What made this boy tick?

“How long have you known my uncle?”

“A long time.” She pauses, wipes her nose with her sleeve. “Why do you hate your mother?”

Ben freezes.

“I don’t hate her.”

“You don’t?”

Ben refuses to look Brighid in the eye. His gaze glued to the ground in front of his feet.

“We don’t get along.”

“I see.”

He growls, tossing a pebble into the fire. Then another- and another, until a whole squadron of pebbles is levitating beside his head; along with his pack and the holocron. Brighid smiles. The simple tilt of her lips confuses Ben. Why is she not angry? Leia is always angry at him, at Han, at the world. Why is Brighid not afraid of him? The pebbles scattered to the ground. His other belongings settle beside him with a small _thud_. His hands shake as he presses them against his face.

“You don’t understand! My parents treat me like a child. As if one wrong move, and-and I will shatter. I feel-” He pauses, chewing on his chapped lips. The way his angst and anger project off of him is like a harsh wind blowing up the side of a cliff. They barrel into Brighid like a sled full of bricks. For a moment she fears they will consume her, then like that, they are gone. “I feel as if I am being suffocated.” Ben’s head falls forward, onto his knees. His body deflating like a balloon.

Brighid searches for the words to console him. But, cataloging feelings was more her forte, not absolving them. She was not his mother, nor his sister. She did not know what words would heal him. Nor if there were ones that would. But, perhaps Ben would appreciate knowing he was not alone.

“My father was a General.”

Ben’s head lifts from his knees.

“He was stationed on the Death Star when your grandfather, Darth Vader, was killed.” Brighid struggled to get the words out. Her fingers tensing into tight fists. She’d only ever spoken of this with Luke. But, Ben had seen her memories of her deadbeat father. He would understand. “He witnessed Luke dragging Vader’s dead body through the burning halls. Just watched as the world collapsed around him.”

“Did he die?”

“Yes, but not for another ten years.” Brighid grimaced. Old memories, ones she’d tucked away, fighting their way to the surface: Her mother’s sad eyes, and the cool touch of her father’s hands against her own. “Long enough for him to impregnate my mother, and impart his _wisdom_ onto a six year old daughter.” A sob-like laugh escaped her lungs. “He always preached about the power of the Empire. The prestige of the Sith. In the end, he died in a bar. Talked too loudly about his allegiances. A rebel officer shot him in the mouth.”

“Does Luke know?” Ben’s voice is soft. It’s tone makes Brighid close her eyes.

“Of course.” She taps out a familiar rhythm onto the floor. It echoes in the hallway, fading into the heart of the temple. “It’s the main reason he took me in. Besides the whole being Force-Sensitive part. He wished to save me from the backlash of my bloodline.”

“Like he and my mother.”

Brighid nods, pulling her knees towards her chest; resting her head atop them. She sighs, the last memory of her mother lingering in her thoughts. The warmth of her embrace as Brighid left home for the last time. Luke said she had her mother’s nose, but her father’s temper. If only she had been gifted with her mother’s restraint instead. If only her mother hadn’t married a monster. Then maybe she would have been the jedi this galaxy deserved.

“Exactly like Luke and Leia.”

They sit in companionable silence until Ben falls asleep, his lanky body stretched out along the wall. The fire flickering shadows over him. Brighid watches them until the sun rises over the horizon. They leave as it settles into the trees. By the time it sets that next evening, Ben is in his mother’s arms, and Brighid is back at Luke’s side. Watching with cold eyes as Ben Solo leaves his mother for the last time.

* * *

 

Brighid lingered outside of the ship. Her fingers graze the lining of the doorway. Her eyes darting over each line and crevice. Ben stands patiently at her side. She can hear him breathing. It’s like nails on a chalkboard in her mind. Where was Luke? They should’ve left already. The pull to the temple suffocating.

“Is everything onboard?” Luke walked onto the landing port. A box underneath his left arm.

“Yes, Master Skywalker.” Ben steps forward. Taking the box from his uncle. He gives Brighid a lingering glance, before boarding the ship. She watches as his form disappears into the narrow hallway. A prickle at the bottom of her spine tells her they will meet again.

“This temple of yours, is it worth it?” Luke leans against the ship. A smirk playing on his lips. He knows the answer to his question, it is always the same.

“It calls to me, Master. The history sings in my blood, I _ache_ to uncover all of it’s secrets.” Brighid smiles. A real smile, one that fully reaches her eyes. “I’ll return soon. You will need help with Padawan Solo.”

Luke sighs, pushing off the ship. He pats Brighid lightly on the shoulder, before pulling her into a tight embrace. For once Brighid does not flinch away from this gesture. Instead sinking into the arms of her friend, and mentor. Patting his arm as they separate. Leaving is always the hardest part.

“Don’t get lost in your reading.” Luke admonishes. “I expect you home within three weeks.” It is a threat, a vague one.

“Yes, Master.” Brighid bows. “May the Force be with you.”

“And with you, my wise apprentice.”

The doors close. Through the Force she sees Luke touch the door. A grim smile twisting his features. His hand drops. He steps away from the door, turning back to his other worries. Brighid waves as they take off. Her mind already cataloging the rooms she plans on exploring that afternoon.  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, another week another chapter. I'll post two more tonight. Let me know what you think <3

Maz Kanata found Brighid with her feet dangling in the lake. Her hair was loose, for once, and billowing in the light breeze. Short legs sending ripples into the crystalline waters. She was supposed to have left this morning, but, Luke’s X-Wing sat in the corner of the landing pad, fueled and ready to go, while Brighid stared into the sunset.

“You can’t hide here forever,” Maz said, tweaking her goggles as she sat beside the jedi. “This temple doesn’t need you anymore.”

Over the past three weeks, Maz and Brighid had transferred the library/archive from the rotting temple, to Maz’s Palace: A large stone structure built over a thousand years before. Still standing as proud as it’s owner; with customers ranging from Mandalorian bounty hunters, to Naboo royalty. There wasn’t a race in the galaxy that Maz hadn’t encountered; though there were plenty that hadn’t seen her.

“It’s quiet here,” Brighid mumbled. “Back, with Luke, everything is so loud. I can’t concentrate. Here, it is simple. I do my job, take care of our records. There-” she sighed. “There I don’t know who I am, or what I should do.”

“No one’s path is clear. You must trust your gut, feel the Force, and listen to it’s will.” Maz reached for Brighid’s hand, taking it into her leather-like grasp. “I know you feel how conflicted that young Ben Solo is. He needs your guidance.”

“Does he though? He has Luke.”

“ _Hah_ \- Luke is being spread too thin. He cannot be what he was for you, for everyone.” Maz argued.

“What if I fail?” Brighid hazarded a look at Maz, regretting it immediately. The small creature looked as if she was ready to smack her.

“You? Fail?” Maz scoffed. “It is more likely that the sun will not rise tomorrow, and your nose fall off, than you fail, my dear.”

“Oh, Maz,” Brighid moaned. Her head falling forward. Usually Maz’s confidence in her would have given her enough strength to return. But, something was different this time. Perhaps she was too conflicted herself? Training Ben would be a mistake. What if she did more harm than good?

Sensing her internal battle, Maz scrambled off the ground and dusted her hands on her shirt, before grasping Brighid’s skull, turning the jedi’s head so that she was forced to stare into Maz’s large, unforgiving gaze.

“There is no hiding from the will of the Force. Go home, Jedi.”

Brighid sighed. There was no arguing with Maz. Only a fool would disagree with one of the wisest women in the galaxy. But, her father had always called Brighid a fool. _A small little fool_.

“Go. Home.” Maz repeated, tweaking Brighid’s cheek after each word, just to make sure the message made it home. “And call your mother. She’s not heard from you in months.”

“Of course.” Brighid mumbled, her voice muffled by Maz’s grasp.

“Good, now get up. I’ll have dinner sent to your room.” Maz let go of her cheeks. “And you had better be gone by the time I wake up in the morning. Or so help me, Brighid, I’ll see to it that you never get a moment's peace the next time you visit me.”

  
“Yes, Maz.” Brighid grumbled, trailing behind Maz as they walked back to the castle. Dragging her toes through the sand one last time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to add more OC characters, and getting to know Ben a little better. I've played with the timline a bit, mainly because I couldn't find an accurate age for when Ben trained with Luke so, ages are as follows: Ben- 20 and Brighid- 18.

A familiar site awaited Brighid on the landing pad. Two jedi stood awkwardly at the edge of the grass. One stood as tall as he was wide, with dark brown skin that glittered in the sunshine. The other shifted heavily from foot to foot, his short black hair shuddering in the breeze caused by the X-wing.

Brighid jumped out of the cockpit, a smile widening her chubby cheeks. The larger man’s arms opened, ready to embrace the young woman. She threw her helmet back into the x-wing, before readying herself to launch into his arms. It’d been too long since they’d seen each other.

He caught her with the grace of a lion latching onto the neck of it’s prey, swinging Brighid around in the air like a small child, before crushing her against his wide chest. The other man continued to shift from foot to foot.

“Hello, Ba’er!” Brighid squealed, inhaling the sharp scent that surrounded her. Ba’er always smelt like a recently extinguished oak bonfire, with a hint of mint from the tea he consumed in large amounts. The last time she counted, he had six cups in one day. 

Jedi Master, Ba’er Kontoothu, pulled her as close to him as possible, like he was afraid if he let her go she would disappear. It’d been far too long; over six months since they last spoke and neither could remember the last time they stood face-to-face. Brighid relaxed into his grip, tears of joy leaking from her closed eyes. 

“I’ve missed you, Little Jedi.” Ba’er finally spoke, his rich baritone invading Brighid’s ears. 

His teeth gleamed as he smiled down at her. Brighid would never forget how beautiful Ba’er is, with smooth skin, cutting cheekbones, and a smile that would make any human/alien/creature swoon. He placed Brighid back on her feet, before he pulled his companion closer to him: Ben Solo. 

“Hello, Ben,” Brighid’s smile widened, and her cherub nose crinkled. She pulled at the long, thin braid that lay against Ben’s right shoulder. Her fingers tweaked the red and blue bands that decorated the braid: just like Anakins. Was this a coincidence? “You went with the traditional approach, eh? How do you like being called a Padawan?” 

“It’s not great,” he replied. 

“Soon to be Jedi Solo!” Ba’er’s voice boomed, shaking Ben’s shoulders, as he pushed the two jedi together. 

Brighid fought back a grimace at being forced so close to a practical stranger. Sure, she had spent a night alone with him in a hidden Jedi Temple. But, that didn’t mean she wanted to have her head shoved into his armpit.    

“You will stand the trials?” Brighid asked.

“As soon as Master’s Skywalker, and Kontoothu-” 

“And Brighid,” Ba’er added. “She is the one who has studied the old ways, more than any of us. She will determine the trials you will face. So, treat her well, yes?” Ba’er laughed. 

But, it was true. Brighid was the only historian in their Order. Luke’s ‘first class’-- as they were called throughout the Galaxy-- had mainly been comprised of Rebel soldiers. Most were fighters and healers, as their time had necessitated. All of them were over the age of 35, and had reached the level of JedI Master within the past five years. Ba’er and Leia were the leaders: the first to go their separate ways from Luke. Though, Ba’er had returned recently-- to help train the influx of Padawans. 

Brighid’s class was the third, they were the thinkers and philosophers. She had been the youngest of the bunch, only seventeen at the time of her trials. But, most of them were dead. So, perhaps fighters and healers were all the Jedi Order needed. They had one historian, why would they need more than that in a time of war? But, as Brighid had found, the jedi were always at war. 

“Will you be helping with my training as well, then?” Ben asked. 

“Unfortunately.” 

“For me, or for you?” 

“We’ll find out.” She muttered, under her breath. Though, by the way Ben’s frown deepened, she knew he had heard her. Brighid’s whisper was no more quiet than her regular voice, but she never seemed to notice. Her gaze flickered to the short hair on Ben’s head. Without the long waves from before, his ears stood out like satellite dishes. Was that how he was able to hear so well? Did Leia have large ears too? Brighid shook her head, laughing at her own private joke. She patted Ba’er’s arm, slipping out of his grasp to continue back to their settlement. Ba’er and Ben followed. 

“How was your scavenging?” Ba’er asked. Genuinely curious about what Brighid had found in the temple. 

“Mainly junk,” Brighid said, watching as Ben’s lips twitched. He had been right, in the end. Everything in the archives had already been found elsewhere. But, in light of what the Empire had destroyed, it was still a worthy find. “But, it will enable us to create our own archive here, once the Temple is finally finished.” 

“Faster than travelling to the rubble on Coruscant.” Ba’er agreed. 

_Mhhmm_. Brighid hummed. Her attention shifting focus to the Temple rising before them. 

The builders must have worked night and day during the three weeks she was gone, as they had already started layering the stones on the outside walls of the main building, as well as the two spires. The dark grey, almost black stone made the building look more like a fortress than a Jedi Temple. It was dark and imposing like a cliff edge, or the rim of a volcano. 

It’s aesthetic borrowed from the more ancient models, than that on Coruscant; which had been remodeled to resemble the other buildings on Coruscant; all chrome and no substance. The Senate said conformity would better protect the Coruscant Temple against attacks, but it made it look too new, as if the past was being erased from its very being. 

Luke’s temple, on the other hand, looked like it rose from the depths of the sea with the rest of the island. The exterior stone excavated from the mountain on the island across from this one; an old dormant volcano. It was strong and smooth beneath her fingers, not unlike the hilt of her sabers. Both of which had components of the same volcanic rock. 

“It feels alive, doesn’t it?” Ben’s gravely voice rocked Brighid back to reality. He stood a few feet from her, hand on a large slab of bricks. 

“Yes,” Brighid agreed. “Luke wanted a fresh, bright marble for the facade. But, Ba’er and-” she paused. It had been the others, _the lost ones_ , that had helped her and Ba’er convince Luke; and now they were gone. “It took quite a few of us to convince him otherwise.” 

“My family is known for being quite stubborn.” Ben’s dark eyes shined. 

Brighid and Ba’er shared a knowing smile. 

“As are we, Young Jedi. As are we.” 

Ba’er swatted Ben on the back, and sent the young man stumbling backwards, losing his balance as he struggled to reach outwards for a ledge to hang on to. Brighid did her best to keep from laughing, but the horrified look on Ben’s face broke her. He looked like a young deer, with his eyes so wide, and arms waving wildly as he struggled to find balance. 

“I-I’m sorry,” she choked. A stray giggle escaped her lips. She placed a sturdy hand on Ben’s other shoulder, smiling wide as a red wave of embarrassment covered his cheeks. “But, after three weeks, you should be better at avoiding the swipe of Ba’er’s paws.” 

“How can you avoid _that_?” Ben sputtered, gesturing in Ba’er’s general direction. 

“Practice, Young Jedi, practice.”

* * *

  


Sleep was something Brighid was slowly becoming accustomed to not getting any of. Most nights, she tossed and turned until the constant physical exertion caused her to pass out. But, during the bad nights, the ones where she had to fight for her consciousness from the voices that threatened to end her way of life-- they were draining her very being.

She met Ba’er each morning, with a headache and a pair of croissants. He supplied the liquid, a dark roasted tea; with half a cup of milk and a tablespoon of honey- the only way Brighid would drink it. She wouldn’t admit it, but Ba’er was the only reason she could convince herself to get out of bed some mornings. The guilt of disappointing him was far more painful than the threat of the darkside looming in her dreams. 

“No tea this morning, Little Jedi,” Ba’er said as soon as Brighid was in sight. She visibly slouched. Her dreams had been particularly bleak last night. All she could remember was the petrified face of General Organa. It’s horror would shake her core for the rest of the week. “Something more important has come up.” 

“What happened?” Brighid perked, handing Ba’er his breakfast, as they made their way to the ancient amphitheatre where their Order held meetings. It was covered by a thin electronic shade, and the sharp edges of the old stone seats had been sanded; as to avoid injuring any of the young jedi. 

“The First Order-” 

“Ba’er,” Ben stumbled up to the two jedi’s. His breath was coming out in tiny puffs, and his whole body trembling. Pain dripped down his gaunt face like sweat. “I-” Ben shuddered, his legs giving out beneath him. 

Brighid caught the top half of his body, her knees taking the brute force of his weight. She looked wildly at Ba’er. What just happened? The hair on the back of her neck prickling; the familiar sense of dread coating the back of her tongue. She gripped tighter onto Ben’s shoulders, hoisting more of his body off the ground. 

“Go. Bring him to your tent. I’ll get Luke, and Medina.” Ba’er ordered. 

Brighid nodded, hoisting Ben’s long body into her arms. His feet dragged on the ground, but, she was able to carry him all the way to her tent. Cursing him and his height the whole way, but she got him there. By the will of the Force, or not. 

The only other time Brighid had carried someone, was when a youngling had fallen asleep during a particularly long round of meditation. It’d been impossible to wake him. So, Brighid had scrambled his short body into her arms. Careful not to rustle him too much as she’d carried him back to his bed, cradled safely in her short, but strong arms. 

After setting Ben on her small bed, Brighid pressed her fingers against his neck; counting in her head as a dull pulse thumped beneath her fingertips. His eyelids twitched as she continued to check his vitals. He was alive. 

“Always dramatic, you Skywalkers,” Brighid groaned. She stumbled to a seated position beside Ben’s body. She crossed, and re-crossed her arms several times before sighing and curling her arms around her knees. There was nothing left to do but wait. Why hadn’t she spent more time focusing on the healing aspects of the Force? 

When Luke and the others didn’t immediately arrive, Brighid began to chew on her nails; an old, bad habit. Another five minutes passed. Brighid placed a blanket over Ben’s body. She fiddled with her lightsabers, and even tucked a few crazy curls that had fallen in Ben’s eyes, behind his ears. When had he started to grow his hair out again? She’d only been home for a month. She spent everyday with him. How had she not noticed before? 

“I swear, if you don’t wake up soon, Ben-” she paused. What if he didn’t wake up? There’d been rare cases in the past of padawans succumbing to the will of the Force during their training. A genetic aneurysm shortcircuiting their brains. She’d need to consult her holocrons. Her eyes flashed to Ben’s form. What if he didn’t wake up? 

“Did Luke lose your datasticks?” Ben’s voice was raspy, like he’d been asleep for days. 

“Wh-what?” Brighid asked. She was still thinking about which holocron would have the most information about Force sickness. “Datasticks?” 

“Yeah,” Ben laughed, though it sounded more like a cough. His dark brown eyes opening. A crooked smile quirking his lips. “Why else would you be so anxious? I can practically t-taste it.” 

“I am not anxious,” Brighid argued, placing a hand over Ben’s forehead. It did nothing, but it seemed to calm her; to know he was awake, and without a fever. She placed her fidgety hands back in her lap. 

“Nice room.” Ben commented. His gaze roaming across the sparsely filled tent. The only sign that she lived here the multiple holopads sitting on the floor across the room. No one else would need to read that many things at once. Brighid shifted nervously in her spot. 

“I don’t spend a lot of time in here.” She lied.

Ben nodded, closing his eyes. Brighid jumped towards him, shaking his shoulders. 

“Hey! Stay awake!” She half shouted, half pleaded. 

“I could never disappoint a lady,” Ben drawled. He could barely keep his eyes open. It reminded Brighid of an old man she’d met in a bar once. He’d been so drunk he could only look at people with one eye, as if he had on a moving eye-patch. 

“I bet,” Brighid sighed. “I think I like broody-Ben better than this new version of you. Can I have him back, please?” Then she’d know he was okay. 

“I don’t brood.” 

“And I don’t lock myself in my tent all day doing research.” 

Ben sat up a little further. 

“Why do you do that? You tryin’ to find somethin’?” 

Luke burst into the tent. Jedi Medina, with her medic droid, right behind him. Medina’s scales flexed and rippled as she squatted next to Ben, almost shoving Brighid out the way. The droid screeched to a halt beside the pallet. 

“Ben!” Luke exclaimed. His robes twirling around him like a tornado as he swept across the small room. The news that his nephew was hurt sticking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Leia would kill him. 

“Hey there, Uncle Luke,” Ben waved his hand. “Long time no see. How’s the kids?” 

“Don’t mind him, he’s been spouting nonsense for the past five minutes.” Brighid said as she stood. 

“Thank you,” Luke took Brighid’s hand. His eyes full of warmth, the kind that made Brighid’s stomach roll. She nodded, a blush creeping up her neck. 

“Brighid,” Medina spoke, taking the Jedi’s attention away from Luke. “Tell me what happened.” 

After recounting the past twenty minutes to Medina, Brighid slid out of the tent. Her gaze lingering on Ben until she felt the cool breeze on her back. He was sitting up now, watching Medina as she fiddled with different instruments, and being prodded by the medic droid. Brighid swiped a bead of sweat off her brow and sighed. With a twist of her shoulders, she continued along the path back to the amphitheatre, where she assumed Ba’er waited with the others. Bad news waited for no one.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens. To be honest with ya'll, this fic is more about the OC than Ben Solo. He's a supporting character in her life.

“Need help?” Luke shuffled up to the area of the Temple Brighid was currently working on.

All the other workers had left for the day, their tools sat unused on random slabs of stone. Luke chose Dornea as the new Jedi home planet because of the Dorneans. They had been the first race that hadn’t immediately dismissed the idea of the Jedi. They’d even agreed to send their best tradesmen to help Luke design the Temple, and build it. It would be done soon. But now, instead of the prowess of the Dorneans, it seemed Brighid would be the reason it was finished. 

“Not really,” she huffed, not bothering to turn and look at Luke. She knew he would have his hands on his hips, and a worried frown marring his lips. He would start by admonishing her, for not being at the meeting, and skipping her practice yesterday, but, she didn’t care. Nothing mattered. 

“Brighid,” Luke exhaled, her name whispered on the wind that swept across her face. He placed a warm hand on her shoulder. The weight of his presence sunk into Brighid. Her arms shook, and the energy she had been wielding dwindled with each silent breath. 

She sighed, allowing her body to be turned and held. Her face pressed into the rough linen of Luke’s tunic. It smelt like sweat and dirt. His arms tightened around her, in a vice of comfort. Why did he always feel like home? She couldn’t help but cry. 

“It will be okay,” he whispered. “I’m here. You’re safe.” 

Brighid wrapped her arms around Luke’s lean frame. Her fingers digging into the muscle of his back. She dared not let go. If she did, he would leave, and she would be alone. She didn’t want to be alone. 

“It will be okay,” he repeated. “I’m here. You’re safe.” 

“We’re never s-safe. None of us,” she said. 

“No,” Luke agreed. “We aren’t. But, we can’t allow the fear of the unknown to force us into submission. We have to keep fighting.” 

Brighid shook as she cried. Snot dripped out of her nose, and even she would admit her crying face was not attractive. Luke only pulled her closer. They were both orphans now. He was her family, and he would die before he allowed her to fall to the darkside that hovered around them. Three lone tears slid down his aging cheeks: one for Brighid; one for her mother; and one for the pain that swelled inside of his own soul. 

“Why her?” Brighid moaned. “Why did they have to take her? She-she was so _good_... and kind.” 

“I don’t know.” Luke was at a loss. 

There had been no warning, no blip in the radar that had alerted anyone to this attack. The First Order struck a lone Naboo transport ship out of the sky like it was a pesky fly. The Galaxy stood still, and watched. The flames of the attack spreading to the farthest reaches; emblazing fear in the hearts of the innocent, and a cry for justice springing to their lips. 

“I haven't talked to her in months…” Brighid beat her fists against Luke’s chest. It’d been months and it was all her fault. She should have called. She should have written; should have done something. “You promised me she would be safe! She was supposed be safe!” Brighid howled, her voice cracking through the tears. 

“Maz told me to call her…” she moaned. Smacking her sweaty palms against her head. “ _She told me_. I didn't listen. Why do I never listen?” 

“Death is not the end, but the beginning.” 

“How? She’s no longer here-- how is that not the end, Luke?” 

When Luke appeared outside their small apartment on Naboo 11 years ago, Brighid had been excited. After her father died, strange things started happening to her. Small moments in which Brighid could feel everything around her, could manipulate objects, and hear the thoughts of random strangers. It had scared her. The power that rested within her. But, her mother- oh, her mother- she had been so happy for her daughter. “ _Brighid was a bright star_ ,” she'd say, “ _in a galaxy full of fear and hate_.” A bright star. 

But, now her mother was dead. The stars did not seem so bright anymore. Nothing did. They took that from her. Those beasts took everything from her. 

“I’ll kill them.” Brighid growled, the sound rumbling against Luke’s skin. Her tone deep and dark and familiar. “I’ll kill them all.”

  
“Shhh,” Luke whispered. All words lost. He could only hold Brighid as she cried.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late! Busy/shitty weekend.

Brighid left for Naboo the next morning. She fiddled with the switches in Luke’s X-wing, as Luke fixed a stray wire in R2. The droid had been running on low power for over a month now. Brighid’s first stop would be on a Republic Star-Cruiser, where R2 would complete his repairs. Then, they would travel on to Naboo, and the funeral.

“There you go,” Luke said, his head appearing over the edge of the X-Wing. 

R2 whistled as he entered the X-Wing. He spun once, like a dog trying to find a comfortable spot in it’s bed, before reporting to Brighid that they were ready to take off. She moved to pull down the cockpit, but Luke’s hand was already there, blocking her. It forced her to look him in his sad blue eyes.

“Make sure he comes back in one piece,” Luke cocked his head in the direction of R2. 

“Of course, Master.”

Silence.

“You don’t have to go alone,” Luke pleaded. He didn’t want Brighid to be alone. He remembered the pain of losing his father- and he had been a monster. What was it like to lose someone you truly loved? 

“You’re needed here,” Brighid argued.  _ She wasn’t worth it _ . 

“Brighid--” Luke started, but Brighid cut him off by curling her hand around his. She couldn’t take this. Not now. She was so close to the cliff’s edge. One last push, and she’d tumble into the dark waters that wished to embrace her.

When she didn’t respond, Luke sighed. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her while she was gone. But, he couldn’t always be there to support her, no matter how much he wanted to. Brighid could not be his only concern.

“Be safe,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Brighid’s head. She nodded, placing the helmet over where Luke’s lips had been. 

_ Thwick _ , the glass locked into place, and she ignited the engines. Luke moved to the edge of the landing port. His hand raised in the air. She mirrored his gesture. 

Brighid landed in the cruiser amongst a bustle of action. It’d only taken an hour of flying through the stars to reach the Republic Cruiser. The shuttle bay vibrated as she slid out of the cockpit. Hundreds of figures shot through and around the landing area, with ships going and coming each minute. It was like watching ants move about an ant-hill.

She slid out of the X-Wing with a tough grasp on her helmet; ready to jump back in at a moment’s notice. A group of Bantha barked in her direction, their furry heads following each move she made. Brighid pulled her cloak tighter around her body, hiding the lightsabers beneath. They tended to make others trigger friendly.

A young woman, with a holopad in her hands, sauntered over to Brighid. She had on a dark grey diagonally buttoned shirt, with matching pants. The new Republic uniform. Brighid’s stomach twisted. Was it the stranger, or the stench of stale air that inhabited large spaceships that made her stomach churn? It’d been years since she’d had to deal with the politics of the Galaxy, but she’d never get over the smell of space.

“Welcome, Jedi Curan.” The woman’s eyes sparkled. She seemed nice enough.

Brighid flinched at the use of her mother’s last name, though. She hadn’t been called anything but Young Jedi, or Brighid, in so long. The woman noticed, and frowned.

“I’m sorry. You’re here about the attack, aren’t you? I saw that last name on the list of the victims,” she stated, taking Brighid’s arm. “It’s terrible what happened.”

“Yes,” Brighid agreed. “I need to charge my droid.” She gestured to R2. “Then I’ll be on my way.”

“Of course, that’s why I’m here. I am Lady Organa’s Republic assistant, Sybil Antoon.” She bowed her head, leading Brighid further into the ship. “Lady Organa’s quarters are just this way.” 

“Is Le-” Brighid stopped. “Is Lady Organa onboard?”

“Oh, yes, she landed two hours ago.” Sybil smiled, rattling on about the cruiser, and the many people that were on it. Most Brighid had never heard of before, but, they all knew her. The information that a Jedi was to visit the ship quickly spread through the loose lips of the politicians on board, and across the Galaxy.

“Hello, Jedi Curan,” an older woman called out as she passed by. Sybil said her name, but it went in one ear and out the other. Brighid was not used to this type of attention. It was disconcerting, to say the least. 

They arrived at a large set of doors. With one swipe of Sybil’s hand, they opened; revealing an elegantly decorated sitting room. Paintings from around the Galaxy hung upon the dark green walls. Several comfortable looking chairs settled around a silver coffee table. A single vase of yellow flowers sat atop its gleaming surface. 

Brighid twitched at the entrance, as Sybil announced her to the room. Three heads turned at the mention of her name. Leia’s face was the only one she recognized. Brighid straightened her back, took one last steadying breath, and entered the room. She bowed before Leia.

“Lady Organa,” she said with as neutral a tone as possible. “I’ve brought my droid to be recharged. I only need a port for him, and will be out of your way.” 

At the touch of Leia’s hand, Brighid exited the bow. Leia stood not a foot away from her, wearing a long elegant dress, along with a headpiece that reminded Brighid of a bird. Was this always how she dressed? Should Brighid be wearing something more feminine, instead of the traditional dark pants, and tunic of a Jedi Knight? Leia looked like royalty, while Brighid looked like she belonged with the guards positioned at various entrances around the ship-- but isn’t that what a Jedi is? A guardian of the galaxy. 

“Oh, don’t be so formal, Brighid.” Leia pulled her into a tight embrace. “You are among family,” she whispered, pulling back far enough to look into Brighid’s dark grey eyes. They swirled with indecision and anxiety. Leia placed her palm against Brighid’s cheek. A small frown twisting her lips.    


“We were afraid you wouldn’t make it in time,” A short man, with fuzz growing out of his ears, stepped forward. He fell into a short bow before the jedi, introducing himself as- “Boran Turth, senator from Hosian Prime.”

“Make it-?”

“And this is Wyn, one of the best pilots in the Galaxy.” Leia interrupted her question, gesturing to the tall wolf-like Bantha standing at attention next to Boran. Was she part of the same group that had growled at her? Wyn opened her large snout, to reveal rows of very sharp teeth. “She’ll be accompanying us to Naboo.”

“I’m sorry, Lady Organa, Luke didn’t-” 

“I didn’t tell him,” Leia answered. “But, you’re very important to me, Brighid. I didn’t want you to be alone- not now.”

Brighid’s throat constricted, leaving her unable to form words. Instead, she bowed her head; a shallow blush making it’s way up her neck. She was important.  _ Brighid _ , was important. To Lady Leia Organa, General of the Resistance, and daughter of Padme Amidala. Why was she important? The fact that she wanted to be alone, stuck to the tip of her tongue. How could she say no to Leia Organa?

“Excuse me, Princess, but, they are ready for you.” A tall, gold protocol droid sauntered into the room. His arms raised halfway up his body, R2D2 at his side. Brighid hadn’t even noticed R2 leaving the room. 

“Thank you, C-3PO,” Leia said and then spun around to face her husband. The one person in the room that hadn’t introduced himself to Brighid. 

He stood with his back to the whole room, arms crossed tightly against his chest. The Wookie, Chewbacca, slouched against the wall beside Han, doing his best to avoid the stare of the tall, female Bantha, Wyn. Apparently he wasn’t on such good terms with her either. 

“You don’t need me,  _ your highness _ ,” Han turned. “You’ve got everything under control.” 

Were they fighting? Is this what Ben was talking about before, when he mentioned Leia was angry at the world? Did the world mean Han? Something was wrong. Brighid could feel it crackling in the awkward exchange between the two Generals. 

“I would like you beside me, Han.” Leia said softly. 

“I would only be in the way,” Han argued. His stare fell on Brighid. A small smile sent in her direction, one that felt too much like an apology. “Besides, Chewie and I are needed elsewhere.”

“Statura can wait, he’ll understand.” 

“Justice waits for no one, Leia. You of all people should know that.”

Brighid shuffled from foot to foot. Her eyes bouncing between Han and Leia. Why was she still here?

“Han-”

“It was a pleasure finally meeting you, Jedi.” Han inclined his head towards Brighid. Chewie handed him a dark blue jacket to fit over his vest. He secured the lower buttons before exiting the room. 

Leia watched Han go. Her hands clenching, and unclenching. The door slammed shut. She spun back towards Brighid. A fake smile plastered on her face. 

“My Lady-” C-3PO started again. The droid motioned towards the door, at the back of the chamber. 

“We’re ready, C-3PO.” Leia pulled a pair of white gloves over her hands. 

_ Ready for what? _ Brighid wanted to ask. But, it was too late.

The doors opened, and a great roar flooded the room. Wyn and Boran entered the connected chambers. They didn’t want to stay behind to watch Leia try and convince Brighid to attend the meeting.

“What is this?” Brighid demanded as she retreated to the opposite corner of the room. She paced between the two couches. What was happening? Why was she here? What was Leia up to? Why didn’t Han want to stay?

“I need your help,” Leia started. “The Republic doesn’t believe the First Order is something we should be worried about.”

“How will I convince them otherwise?”

“You will tell them the truth.” Leia walked towards Brighid, slowly, as if she was a wild animal. One on the verge of acting out, or attacking. 

“You would… you would use my mother’s death as a ploy,” Brighid growled. 

“To save millions!” Leia barked. “You are a Jedi. Pledged to protect the innocent, and keep the peace of the Galaxy. Luke always tells me how much he trusts you, and your judgement. I assumed this would be something you cared about.”

“I don’t speak for our Order,” Brighid folded her arms across her chest. “Luke should be here.”

“We don’t have time to argue, either you will come-- or not.”

“Don’t act as if I have a choice,” Brighid brushed past Leia. Her cloak whipping the General across her cheek. So this is what Ben had to deal with. Perhaps there was more to their relationship than she thought. 

The stale air, mixed with the concoction of perfumes the occupants coated themselves in, hit the back of Brighid’s throat like the taste of fuel when she filled up a tank. Her feet made no sound against the hard metal floor, yet her presence filled the room like electricity; shocking each senator into a stupor as she passed by them. Her seat, next to Wyn, was at the center of the chamber.

The conversations in the room screeched to a halt as Brighid moved through the crowd. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Her short figure spreading a shadow of awe and fear. The eyes of the new Republic staring back at her. Faces, as diverse as the Galaxy was wide, waited for the Jedi to act. Half of them expected her to ignite her saber, or to use those  _ mystical powers _ the Galaxy whispered about. They hoped for a performance. 

Brighid sat. Her cloak spreading out beneath her, and a wave of disappointment crested the room. The senators followed the motions of the Jedi as Brighid clasped her hands together, and placed them in her lap. 

“Shall we begin?” Leia asked. She sauntered to the center of the room. Her headpiece shifting from side to side as she circled the center podium; making the bird seem like it was trying to fly away, like Brighid wanted to do. “Thank you all for meeting here, and under such distressing circumstances. I am Leia Organa, last princess of Alderaan, and former senator of the New Republic. We, the Resistance-- as the Galaxy has named us-- have begged you for years to not underestimate the power of the First Order. Yet, here we are, a day after an attack on one of our proudest systems: Naboo. The First Order-”

“Now, Lady Organa, there is no proof that it was the First Order!” A senator-- Brighid squinted her eyes-- from Corruscant burst from his seat. “There is no proof.”

“There is proof, Senator.” Leia argued. “You just refuse to see it.”

The room erupted in conversation. Wyn elbowed Brighid, and she groaned. Was that her cue? The Bantha had sharp elbows, though the noise pulled from her throat was more for the fact that she was about to be forced into addressing this room full of politicians. Why her? Why today?

Leia continued speaking as if everyone was still listening to her. Eventually, they all quieted, the senators shifting in their seats. Most of their pockets were filled by the First Order. They didn’t know how to react to physical proof, let alone with two Jedi in the room, though most had forgotten Leia was a Jedi. They were too worried about who her father was, and how that marred anything she said; no matter how noble or just. They were not a fair bunch. Lies and scandal was the new flavor of the month; and they were savouring every minute of it.

“The proof is in the details, senators.” Leia stated. She scanned the room as she spoke, making sure to make eye-contact with those she knew were under the influence of the First Order. “Witnesses of the attack, from nearby cruisers, have all stated that it was the First Order that destroyed the cargo-ship. What more do you need, to see the evil that you are allowing free reign in this Galaxy?” 

Brighid couldn’t help the goosebumps that rose along her flesh. She could feel the sincerity pouring out of Leia in waves. She was practically pleading with the leaders of the Galaxy to turn away from the Darkness. The anger, and betrayal, Brighid had felt moments before simmered to a low irritation. 

“I ask of you, no-” Leia paused. She looked down at Brighid. “I beg you to do something about this. Do not let the innocent lives that were taken from us so savagely, go unavenged. The First Order is rooted in evil. You know this to be true. Past all the pageantry, and politics- you know what is right, and the First Order is not it.”

The Senator from Naboo stood, her dark features solemn and proud. The platform beneath her seat rising almost a foot into the air, enough so that she could see, and be seen, far above everyone else in the room. Her dark blue dress- typical fashion of mourning on Naboo- rippled like waves across the ocean as she gestured to Leia.

“What Lady Organa says is true. We cannot let the Galaxy fall into another civil war.” She burned with passion as she spoke. “The First Order must be stopped! They cannot continue to have sway over this council.” Her sharp, dark eyes flickered to the Senator from Coruscant. An accusation if Brighid ever saw one. 

A scattered murmur of agreement crested across the room. A seldom few senators still shaking their heads in disagreement. Most of them were human-males. The Viceroy from the Trade Federation stumbled to the front of his row. An argument scrunching the tight green skin that peaked out from below his pointed hat.

“What do you say, Jedi?” A voice called out, stopping the Viceroy in his tracks. He slunk backwards.

Brighid swivelled in her chair. The expectant faces of the senators staring back at her. What was she supposed to say? These senators would make decisions only based on what they thought was best for their sectors, not the whole Galaxy. There was no way to unify them all. What could she say to stop them from allowing the First Order from taking control?

“What do you think we should do?” Another asked.

Brighid stood. There was no avoiding this. She walked to the center of the room, giving herself time to formulate a response. She stopped in front of the podium. Leia gave her a reassuring smile as she turned to face the room.

The thoughts of the senators bombarded her mind. They were so worried- their anxiety fueling her rage. It was not the safety of the Galaxy they were worried for-- but instead it was their own skin. They were worried about how the Galaxy would view them. How their decision would affect their re-electability. 

“I-I do not speak for my Order,” she stated. “But, as a Jedi, I must always caution peace, over chaos... I don’t know what you should do. Truthfully, I don’t care what you do. The politics of the Galaxy hold no in-influence over me.” Brighid paused. Her hands shaking at the thought of her dead mother. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.  _ She shouldn’t be here. _ Why was she here? She should be on Naboo, mourning her mother, not in a room full of politicians. Brighid’s throat tightened. Her head growing foggy. “Chaos cannot reign. It can only destroy. We have the Empire as proof of that. Do not let your minds be clouded by greed, and power. The darkness grows if you feed it. Do not feed chaos. Extinguish it.” 

Brighid swept out of the room. She could vaguely hear the sound of applause as she did. A few hands reached out to touch her-- as if the single touch of Jedi could heal them of their misdeeds-- as she stormed by. But, the intensity of the anguish rippling off of her acted as a buffer towards unwarranted touch. 

The doors rattled shut behind her, and Brighid manipulated the air around it to slide the lock into place. She needed space. Now. She clawed at the edge of her cloak, ripping it off her body and throwing it to the ground. Her feet stomping on it once, twice, before the rage simmered and a sadness enveloped her heart. Why couldn’t everyone just leave her alone? She just wanted to be alone. 

Brighid collapsed on the floor. Her back dragging against the wall as she slid down it. She gasped for breath in between soul-shattering sobs. R2 whistled sadly from the corner, where he was nearly done charging. Brighid’s whole body shook as she cried. No sound escaped her mouth, besides the occasional broken gasps that she could not hold in.

“Excuse me, Miss, can I be of assistance?” C-3PO waddled into view.

Brighid’s hand pushed forward, a burst of energy snaked its way around C-3PO, and the droid gave out a startled gasp before the golden light in his lightbulb-esque eyes decayed into a dark grey. His form slumped over, and entered into sleep mode. They could turn him back on later. 

She sat there until her legs went numb. She’d always had poor circulation, and with the amount of energy she had spent in the last hour, it was a surprise they hadn’t fallen asleep earlier. She slapped each calf until the sharp tingles erupted in her muscles; spasming as she attempted to stand. 

With a groan, she moved towards R2. The little robot rolled forward, disconnecting himself from the charger. Together, with one hand on her little metal friend, Brighid made her way back to the X-Wing. She swung her legs into the cockpit, resting for a moment before switching on the engines. 

With a roar, the ship burst to life. R2’s sharp trill signalled from the back that he was ready to go. Brighid took a deep breath, wiping under her eyes one last time, before settling the helmet atop her hair. The selfish worries of the senators lingering in her thoughts. 

_ They are so weak. How could they be the leaders of the Republic? _

Brighid growled, her hands slamming her visor into place. She was done being a puppet. Leia Organa would be the last person to trick her. Brighid was a Jedi, of the New Order. She had power that the senators in that room couldn’t even begin to understand. Never again would she be an errand girl, or a pawn. Never again. 

  
_ Now you see _ , the voice appeared, humming in agreement to Brighid’s thoughts. It nearly purred at the mention of power. It should have scared Brighid, but, something had broken inside of her, and she couldn’t help but like the way this voice sounded in her head.  _ Never again _ . 


	8. Chapter 8

“You will erase all data of my arrival,” Brighid stated, projecting the Force onto the innocent Theed hangar guard. She watched with sick delight as a flash of light passed through the woman’s pupils. The effects of the Force manipulation sinking into her brain.

“I will erase all data of your arrival,” the guard replied. Immediately turning her back on the Jedi, her fingers moving rapidly over her holopad. 

Brighid slid out of the least used port of the Theed hangar undetected. R2 beeped excitedly beside her. The droid was originally from Naboo, and it was happy to see it’s home once again. They slunk out of the back entrance, and disappeared into the heavy crowds that congregated near the markets just inside the walls of the Capital city. Colorful streamers hung from the lampposts, the scent of freshly baked goods wafted down the cobbled streets, and on street corners bards and thespians displayed their skills to the Naboo.

Naboo never changed. No matter how much the Galaxy did, Naboo somehow managed to stay unaffected. Or, as unaffected as a planet could be in a Galaxy teeming with war, slavery and genocide. The Naboo and Gungans lived in harmony since the threat of civil war, over 50 years ago. Brighid loved it here. But, she never felt like she fit in with the rolling green hills, and sparkling blue lakes. She was always too small, or too weird for her fellow play-mates. 

Family life was the same. They didn’t understand why her mother had sent her away with a stranger. They’d already disapproved of Diana’s, Brighid’s mother, marriage, to the ex-General, and ever since Brighid left with Luke-- Well, they never tried to contact Brighid after that. 

There were more of them now: Her family. That was the first thing Brighid noticed. She lingered outside her old-home, shifting uncomfortably in her tight-fitting dress. Her Jedi robes left behind in the x-wing. R2 chirped that he thought she looked beautiful. But, Brighid knew she looked ridiculous. Her mother always loved dressing her up in colorful dresses, so she would honor her mother one last time; in a dress fit more for a member of the royal family, than a young Jedi Knight.

“I should probably go inside, eh, Artoo?” Brighid muttered. Her fingers twitching beneath the long sleeves. The material of the dress itched horribly on her sensitive skin. Her mother would have scolded her for buying such an uncomfortable dress. She probably would have refashioned it for her the moment she stepped into the house. Brighid smiled. Her mother had been a wonderful person. Obsessive when it came to clothing, but the kindest soul she would ever encounter; and she had loved Brighid. That was worth the lifetime of pain Brighid would feel now that she was gone.

R2 nudged Brighid forward. The droid practically forcing Brighid through the door. 

“Alright, alright-- I get it.” She growled. “No need to get so pushy.”

R2 groaned, or at least that’s what it sounded like to Brighid. Apparently the droid did not appreciate her pun.

Brighid slid in through the back door. She’d come to say goodbye to her mother, not get into a fight with her family. They weren’t high in Naboo society, but both her mother and her aunt had both been seamtresses for the Royal family; though the Royal family had hundreds of seamstresses. The Curan family was not important, but they were proud. To a fault.

“Stay here,” Brighid whispered, placing her hand atop R2’s covering. She pressed the blue button on her communicator that was strapped to her wrist. The corresponding blue light lit up on R2’s side. “If anyone comes near here, let me know.” R2 shifted its head forward in compliance. 

Brighid stalked through the rest of her house, like a bandit. She left R2 in the mudroom, electing to pass through the side hallway, avoiding the kitchen and study altogether. The sounds from the gathering in the main living room flittering down the hallways. They sounded happy. Brighid was pleased by that. She may not get along with her family, but they were hers; and for a time, when she was younger, they were all she had. 

_ You can’t choose family _ , her mother would say, every time her father would leave, on his ‘important business trips’.  _ You’re stuck with them, and they’re stuck with you _ .    


Her heart led her to her mother’s room. The door stood ajar, and she could see candle light flickering in the shadows. Tentatively, Brighid snuck through the open door. The large bed, and canopy, that had been in the center of the room were gone, replaced by a long table. On top of which sat her mother’s coffin. An elegant design of tulips, her mother’s favorite flower, etched along the edges. She’d embroidered them on every piece of clothing she ever made. 

Brighid shuffled towards it. Hesitant to see her mother’s pale, and lifeless form. Brighid had seen plenty of dead bodies. But, this was different.

“Hi, mum,” Brighid murmured. Her mother’s body lay neatly in the coffin. Her hair straightened and pinned the way she liked it; a single braid pulled tight over her head, like a crown, with tiny pink roses webbed through the knots. Where her freckles used to be, there were burns; harsh red marks that they tried to cover with various forms of makeup, but there are some things that not even magic could have covered. If this is what her face looked like, what would the rest of her body look like? What would be left? 

This was all her fault. If only she had been a normal child. Why did she leave? Was becoming a Jedi worth this? Brighid collapsed on top of the coffin. Her body shaking as she apologized, over and over again, the spit from her frantic warbling dripping onto her mother’s body.

“What use am I?” She moaned. “What use am I as a Jedi, if I couldn’t even keep you safe. I-I forgot. I got so busy. This life has consumed me.” 

As a child, Brighid had been inseparable from her mother. She used to follow her around like a duckling, and on the days that Diana could convince Brighid to wear dresses, they would wear matching robes and walk through the streets, holding hands and stopping in shops to buy pastries and ribbons. It was clear to all that saw them, that they loved each other, deeply. Yet, a year after joining Luke, Brighid grew distant. Diana complained about it for a time, begging her daughter not to push her away, but, Brighid did the opposite, and look what good that had done. 

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry, mum.”

* * *

The pire burned well into the night. The smoke spiraling into the sky like a phoenix rising to it's new life. Brighid's family left hours ago. General Organa had been with them. From a safe distance, Brighid had watched as the General gave a poor excuse for Brighid’s absence. What excuse would Leia have given them? Would they believe her? Who wouldn’t believe Leia Organa? Just seeing the General made Brighid’s irritation flare, like a rash.

Hours passed, and dawn approached as it did each day. The embers of the fire dying as the sun rose. Brighid walked up to the pire and looked down at the pile of ash. Diana always wanted to be cremated. Where would they spread her ashes? Or would they keep her in a jar on the mantle? She deserved to be combined with seeds and manure, and spread into a tulip patch, so that her life could remain with the things she loved. Brighid could not do that. It was not up to her anymore. As a Jedi she had no right to her mother’s body. 

Brighid strained a tiny amount of ashes into a silver tube, shaped like a thin dagger-like crystal, that she bought earlier in the market; along with a hefty chain, that she now slid through the tiny hole at the top of the tube. She secured the tiny monument around her neck. The silver settled between her breasts. It was cool against her heated skin, like an ice-cube slid down her shirt on a hot summer’s day. 

The house was empty when she returned. Brighid strode through the front door, headed straight for her mother’s room. Once inside, she quickly grabbed her mother’s favourite cloak, and wedding ring. Diana made the cloak for an old senator, but they’d died before she could deliver it. The material rippled like stars in the night sky, and felt like stillwater wading across her skin. As a child, Brighid used to put it on and run around the house, pretending to be a ghost, and her mother would chase after her. The memory of their laughter echoed in the walls.

On the kitchen table she left a note, detailing what she took, and how her family could contact her, though they never would. What would happen to the house? Brighid didn’t want to know. It didn’t belong to her. It had never belonged to her. Jedi’s did not own homes, nor have families. The Skywalkers were simply an anomaly. 

She left with R2 by her side. As she passed down the familiar winding streets, she promised herself she would never return. Naboo was her mother’s home. Now that Diana was gone, Brighid needed to focus fully on her new family. No more distractions. She would find a way to avenge her mother, and learn everything she could about The First Order. They had to have weaknesses, and once she found them, there would be nothing that could protect them from her wrath. 

  
“Set a course for the outer-rim,” Brighid said, fiddling with the buttons around the control panel, with Diana’s cloak wrapped tightly around her shoulders. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You all for reading this! I really appreciate it!


	9. Chapter 9

Brighid watched as Ben spun around the room, blocking Ba’er’s attacks with speed and agility that Brighid had only seen one other Jedi wield. Luke used to say that the Force didn’t care about genetics, that it only inhabited and gave power to those it found worthy. But, that didn’t explain the Sith. No, Brighid knew it dealt with something much more basic than that. The Force was everywhere. It inhabited every molecule in the Universe. There was no great rhyme or reason. It just was, and always would be.

“Nice try, Young Jedi.” Ba’er boomed, helping a shaken Ben Solo to his feet. 

“You did good, Ben.” Brighid stood. Her gaze flickering over Ben’s minor injuries: a swollen cheek, from where Ba’er’s practice blade had impacted; blood dripping from a cut lip; and a twisted ankle. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Ben swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing shallowly down his long neck as he wiped his bloodied lips across his arm. The blood clinging to his sweat coated skin. “But, good. A good tired.”

Brighid nodded. Could he handle more? Would it break him? She looked at Ba’er, and he smiled; a dangerous crooked smile. One that would have alerted Ben, if he had been looking, but, it was too late.

Brighid caught Ba’er’s blade with the skill of a predator. The plasma-training blade always felt so much lighter than a light-saber, as if there was something missing. She rolled it under her arm and watched Ben as he used a towel to shake the sweat out of his hair. He’d grown it out even longer in the past months, the tips of his raven hair falling to his shoulders. Brighid often argued with Ben over the fact that he’d fight better with it in a ponytail, and out of his face, but, Ben never liked to listen to anyone, especially not Brighid. Was it because she was younger than him, or that she reminded him of his mother? Probably both. 

_ Ahem _ . Brighid coughed. Ben dropped his towel. She lunged. The plasma-blade shuddered against his torso, sending Ben flying backwards. His butt taking the brunt of the fall. He sat, stunned- with his mouth open. Brighid could tell he was trying to speak, so she swung again, narrowly missing his head as Ben ducked and rolled to the side.

“I thought we’d never do this.” Ben purred. He flipped back onto his feet, like a lynx, settling into a low pose, his blade held loosely in his large hands. “I’d love to wipe that cat-like grin from your face.”

“Oh, really,  _ Solo _ ?” Brighid taunted. 

“Graahh!” Ben pounced. 

The sound of the two practice blades clashing erupted in the arena like a small beast throwing itself at an electric fence. Ben and Brighid circled each other like two lions fighting over prey. Every now and then, Ben would lunge, using his brute strength to try and trip up Brighid. But, it always ended with him on the ground: Flipped over, pushed over, kicked into submission. She was always one step ahead. With a grin that begged him to get back up, and try again.

“Sure you don’t want to give up, eh?” Brighid panted. She may be the better fighter, but it didn’t mean she could do this forever. 

That knowledge, made Ben stumble to his feet. His grip tightening around the hilt of the blade. The sounds of their labored breaths echoing in the small arena. The kicked up dirt, swirling around them like miniature tornadoes, coating their lungs. Brighid nodded, settling back into her stance.

This time, Ben waited for Brighid to attack. She could see the fight playing out in his eyes. Would he try and trick her? The Force surrounding them in a thick fog. Ba’er’s presence filtering to the back of her thoughts. 

She went for his feet first. He jumped, avoiding the blade at the last possible second. His hand coming down near her back. She rolled, her blade colliding with his. She pushed forward, using the leverage to jump back onto her feet. Ben used this second to wrap his hand around her ponytail, yanking her back onto the floor. Her body landing with a harsh  _ Thwomp _ . The blade flying from her hand, and into Ben’s. He pressed both blades, in a cross, against her neck, leaning forward so he could see the defeat in her eyes. A sick smile twisting his lips.

Brighid laughed. Her chest rising and falling with the quickness of her breath. Who would have known Ben Solo was a hair puller? Her feet leveled against the ground. The back of Ben’s legs touching the side of her knees. 

“Proud of me yet?” Ben chuckled. His long hair falling into Brighid’s face, tickling the tip of her nose. The slightly acidic scent of Ben’s sweat mingled with the fruity aroma of the shampoo he used on his hair; which was damp, and cool against her heated skin. That same coolness mirrored in his dark eyes. She leaned forward, tucking that hair back behind his ear. Ben startled at her touch, falling backward onto Brighid’s knees. 

“Nope.”

Brighid wrapped her arms around Ben’s waist, and flipped them forwards. She landed on his chest, straddling his upper-body, and pushing the air out of lungs with a loud  _ woosh _ . With a sigh, she took the blades from his hands, and tapped them against Ben’s skull. He winced at the impact. A ferocious blush working its way up his neck, across his face, and settling onto the tips of his ears. 

“That’s not fair!” Ben complained. “The… The blades were against your neck! I had you!”

“ _ Heh _ \- you’re just mad I tricked you.” Brighid reasoned, placing her hands against Ben’s chest, and pushed herself back onto her feet. She flung the blades to the ground beside them, and held out her hand for Ben. “Don’t be a sore loser”

“Look who’s talking.” 

“I lose with grace.”

“Sure you do.” Ben tossed Brighid one of his spare towels.

“Do you ever wash these?” She scrunched her nose. They smelt like boy, damp and musky.

Ben groaned. Why had he been saddled with the two most obnoxious Jedi’s as masters? 

“I understand why you like to observe, Little Jedi.” Ba’er acknowledged, placing his hand on the jedi’s shoulders as they walked out of the training area. “It’s a lot less work.”

“Yes,” Brighid panted. She slung her pack onto her back, and checked the time on her communicator. She had a meeting. “I’ll see both of you later. Perhaps for dinner, Ba’er?” She suggested.

“Ah, love to, Little Jedi- But I’m actually leaving in an hour. The Resistance calls.”

“What now?” Asked Ben. 

Ba’er had been travelling to and from the temporary resistance base for the past three months. The Jedi, besides Ba’er, were not privy to the location of the base. The less people that knew, the better. Ba’er was helping train the new recruits. But, they hadn’t had new recruits in weeks. What else could the resistance need from a Jedi?

“I have a feeling they will offer me a position.” Ba’er admitted, fidgeting beneath the gaze of his two friends. “Say they need another General, for the ground assaults.” 

“And will you take it?” Brighid spoke through clenched teeth. “You’ll leave us,  _ for them _ ?”

“Now, Brighid-”

“No, this is ridiculous Ba’er. I understand helping them. But, after the initial scuffle between the Resistance and The First Order things have settled. You’d do more good for the Galaxy here.” Brighid complained, like a child whose parents were divorcing. “We need you here.”

“You let your feelings cloud your judgement, Little one.” Ba’er said. He placed a strong hand on Brighid’s shoulder. “I go where I feel I must. And they do need me,  _ more than you _ .”

Brighid avoided his gaze, like a pouty child. Her communicator buzzed on her wrist. She spun to collect her water bottle, patting Ba’er’s arm as she left down the opposite path, towards the Temple. The tallest spire could just be seen over the hill behind the training area. 

“I’ve got to go.” She glanced back at Ba’er. Guilt singing in her veins. She knew she was being ridiculous. But, it felt like Ba’er was leaving her. Why couldn’t she control her fear? “May the Force be with you, Ba’er.”

“Don’t leave like this, Brighid. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Ba’er grasped her arm. His whole hand wrapping easily about her wrist. “You know I don’t do this to anger you, or you Ben. I understand your reservations. The General is not an easy woman. But, I have known her a long time, and I am a fighting man. I cannot stop doing what I do best.”

“I understand,” Brighid muttered, yanking her arm out of Ba’er’s grip. She allowed him to pull her into a loose hug. Only one of her arms curling around his strong back. He sighed. “Best of luck, Ba’er.”

“We will see eachother again, Little Jedi.” 

“I know.”

“I’ll walk you to the pad,” Ben said. 

Brighid waved one last time as Ba’er and Ben vanished below the hill. With a sigh, she turned back towards the temple. Was she really angry at Ba’er or was it the irritation from Leia’s treatment on the cruiser that soured her disposition toward the resistance? Ba’er was one of her closest friends. He was like her older brother. Why would she want him to leave? Life was just being to stabilize. Couldn’t she be selfish, just this once?

Luke was waiting for Brighid at the entrance to the Temple. A group of younglings hovered behind him like little bees. They buzzed around Brighid as she appeared over the top of the hill. Luke waved when he saw her. 

“Hello, Jedi Curan.” One youngling said. He twirled around her with surprising speed. 

“Will you join us in meditation today, Brighid?” Asked another. A girl, the one with the scar. She still couldn’t remember her name.

“Will you?” Pestered a young Gungan. 

“Not today,” Brighid said. “I’ve just come to talk with Master Skywalker.”

“Oh.”

“Another day.” Brighid promised.

That seemed to appease them. The younglings disappeared back into the Temple. Their laughter echoing along the tall stone hallways. It was nice to hear that sound. 

“I see you’ve found out about Ba’er’s new position?” 

“How can you tell?”

“After 11 years, I think I can tell when you’re feeling annoyed, or sad, and since he was supposed to leave today-”

“Okay, I get it. You know me.”

“I do know you, Brighid.” Luke paused, as if trying to explain something to her in that simple statement. “When will you really tell me what is bothering you? What’s been bothering you since you came back from the mission.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Brighid,” Luke warned. “If something's wrong you need to tell me.”

Brighid stopped, her fists clenching and unclenching as she turned to face Luke. The entrance to the Temple right behind him. She could see the outline of the younglings running through the halls. She couldn’t tell Luke about the voices, or her fear and anger. It would only lead to more stress. He had too much on his plate. There were over 30 Jedi now, and most of them were the younglings and Padawans. He didn’t have time for her anymore. 

“I’m fine, Luke. Everything’s fine. My mother is dead, and I’m trying to move past it. Okay?”

“Not okay. You’re lying to me. I can sense it.”

“Oh Bullshit. Jedi’s aren’t lie-detectors. If we were, I’d be able to tell when a youngling was lying to me about what they saw in their visions, or how long they really meditated!”

“Brighid-”

“No, Luke. I didn’t come here to argue with you. I only came to see if you were ready to give Ben a saber. That’s it. I’m here to talk about Ben, nothing more.” Brighid crossed her arms, glaring at Luke as he rubbed his fist against his newly grown beard. Why couldn’t he leave her alone? Didn’t he understand that she didn’t want to talk about it, and if she ever did, she would.

“Fine. We’ll talk about Ben, nothing more.”

“Good.” Brighid uncrossed her arms. “I think he’s ready.”

“How can you tell?”

“There’s nothing more I can teach him with a practise blade, and I just think he is. Ben’s almost twenty years old. He’s ready.”

“Leia doesn’t want him to have a saber.”

Brighid groaned. Was this the Jedi Order, or Leia’s special day camp for her unruly son? 

“Leia isn’t here, Luke, and she’s been coddling him for years! You’ve seen what that’s done to him. He needs this. You know he does.”

Luke pulled on his beard again, mulling over Brighid’s words. Would he listen to her? He used to. What had changed? Didn’t he want Ben to become a Jedi?

“Yes, you’re right.” Luke said. “Of course you’re right. Ben deserves this, and he’s more than ready. I’ve never seen anyone wield a blade like he does. He’ll be a great addition to our Order. You’re right. I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I used to worry about him too. But,” Brighid paused. There was something about Ben that just seemed right. He fit here. He was meant to be a Jedi. She knew it in her heart he was meant to be with them. “It’s his destiny.”

“I didn’t think you believed in destiny?” 

“Oh, I just don’t believe in my own, that’s all. You Skywalkers always have a destiny. It’s part of your genetic code.”

“Oh, really?”

“Seriously, you’re going to question it,  _ oh Chosen One _ ?”

Luke laughed, pulling Brighid toward him into a side hug. She almost fell for it. She almost let herself smile, but pulled away at the last second. She didn’t deserve to be happy. Happiness is temporary anyway, why give in when she knew it wouldn’t last? Everyone she loved was dead, and Luke couldn’t be added to that list. 

“Are you hungry?” Luke asked.

“No. I think I’ll head back to my tent, and get some rest.”

“Oh. Okay. Would you like to tell Ben, or should I?”

“You are his uncle.”

“Good point.”

“Goodbye, Master.”

“Have a good rest, Brighid.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Since I was so late posting the last three I'm posting the 10th chapter today as well. Another three chapters will be posted on Friday.

“My God, and I thought my tent looked bad.” 

Brighid looked up from her holopad, a curse resting on her tongue. It melted into a smirk as she watched Ben saunter into her tent. The hilt of a lightsaber in his hand. Anakin’s lightsaber? Surely Luke wouldn’t have given him that archaic thing. It belonged in a museum, or locked in a heavily guarded vault.

“Yes, Ben?”

“Not even going to ask me what I’ve got in my pockets?”

“Do I need to ask? Besides-- the saber’s not even in your pocket.”

“You’re no fun today,” Ben pouted. He sat beside her on her bed. 

She took the saber wordlessly, running her fingertips over the hilt. It was in prime condition, no rusting or chips in the metal. Would it work right for Ben? Didn’t a Jedi need to create their own saber? 

“I asked Luke the same thing, he says this is just a temporary fix.” Ben answered her unasked questions. 

Brighid raised a single eyebrow. 

“I could tell you were disappointed, and confused by this” he shook the saber. “because the space between your eyebrows was furrowed so deep I thought your skin might split.”

“Yes, apparently I’m easy to read.” Brighid grumbled. Or maybe she’d just been spending too much time with Luke and Ben.

“Ah, you’re still in a mood.”

Brighid rolled her eyes. Of course she was upset, of all people, Ben should understand. Leia used her. It wasn’t something she was likely to forgive so easily. Not when it had anything to with her deceased mother.

“Ba’er said you would be crabby for a few days.”

“Did he?” Brighid hummed. She turned back to her holopad, fully prepared to ignore Ben until he took the hint and left. Didn’t he understand she needed to be alone?

“I’m angry too, you know. General Organa asked for Ba’er specifically. She knew he was teaching me. She did it to spite me.”

“No she didn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Your mother may be manipulative, and conniving, but Ba’er is the best. She would be a fool not to use him.”

“You sure do know an awful lot about my mother.”

“Oh,” Brighid set down the holopad. “She’s your mother again now? I thought she was the General, or Lady Organa?”

“Don’t start this,” Ben warned. “You’re not the only one in a mood.”

Why did she always do this? Brighid didn’t mean to argue with Ben, or Luke, but everything was so loud: her thoughts, and the voices in her head. They were all so loud, and she just wanted everything to stop, just for a moment, so she could have peace. 

“You look exhausted.” 

“I guess that’s the nice way of saying I look like shit, eh?” Brighid joked.

“Yes.” Ben didn’t look away, and Brighid startled at the touch of his hand on her arm. His skin was clammy, and the pads of his fingertips dug into her muscles, forcing her to look him in the eye. “I need to ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you think I’m a failure?”

“Wh-what?” Brighid gasped. Where was this coming from? What had Luke said to him? 

“All these years, my mother refused to train me because she was afraid. Do you think she was afraid of me failing? Am I not meant to become a Jedi? Is that why Luke gave me my grandfather’s saber?”

“Woah there, Ben, calm down. You are not a failure.”

“You’re younger than me, and already a Jedi. I’m the oldest Padawan in the Order. What does that say about me?”

“You’re a slow learner.”

“Seriously, Brighid.”

“You want the truth?”

Ben nodded.

“Alright. Well, I think your mother was afraid that you might turn out like your grandfather. You’ve got the genes, and both Luke and Leia struggled with the darkness during their training. It’d only be natural for you to too. In fact, it’s more likely for you to succumb to it because of the relative peace in the Galaxy. There must always be good and evil. She must have seen something that made her assume you would fall.”

“But, I’m not! Sure, I’m broody and have a bit of a temper, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to become a Sith.”

“No, it doesn’t. Anger isn’t the only thing that tips the balance between the dark and the light.”

Ben fell back onto her bed. His lanky arms spreading out beside him. The tip of his fingers grazed her butt and Brighid shifted away from his touch. Why was he here? They weren’t great friends. Brighid hadn’t tried to make Ben talk about his past, or feelings since the night at the temple. She simply trained him, and that’s it. Why did he come to her?

“What are you doing?”

“I’m laying on your bed, wallowing in self-pity.”

“Oh.”

Brighid fiddled with her fingers. Should she ignore him, and continue her research? Would he object to her new obsession? Brighid didn’t move. Her body refused to, with Ben lying so close to her. She tended to avoid people these days. Well, she always avoided people. It was just more noticeable now. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Ben asked, but he didn’t move. He surely didn’t want to leave. 

Brighid sighed.

“Can I show you something?”

She didn’t wait for Ben to agree before plopping a holopad onto his chest. 

“I’ve been doing research on the First Order.”

“So _ this _ is why you’ve been disappearing after training.” Ben sat up, his fingers flicking the screen, scrolling through the pages: Brighid’s notes, at least 20 pages worth. Names of the First Order Ambassadors on the first page, and the senate sympathizers on the second. The rest of the pages were copies of attack patterns from around the Galaxy, wild accusations, and red-string level connections to Empire loyalists.

“You’ve been busy.”

_ Mhhmm _ . Brighid hummed. She split her free-time between researching the First Order, and organizing the new library. Luke would notice if she ever slacked on her duties.

“Some of this is pretty manic.” Ben said, setting down the tablet. He eyed the six other holopads resting on the small table in the corner of her tent. Did they all contain material like this? 

“Those are all for the archive.” Brighid answered. She walked over to the table, and picked up the tablet closest to them. The label at the top read:  _ Historical Records: Battles of the Great Clone War _ . “I think you’d like this.”

“I’m not much of a reader.”

“Turn on the screen, and click the green icon on the top right corner.” Brighid ignored him, and sat back down on the bed, taking the other holopad from his hands, and hiding it beneath her pillow. Of course he wouldn’t understand, but he’d love this. 

“How did you get this?” Ben exclaimed, watching the screen as Anakin Skywalker sauntered into the scene. The sand dunes of Geonosis rising in the background, as hundreds of flying ships zoomed overhead, the screech of their engines vibrating in Ben’s hands through the speakers of the holo pad. 

“How did you get this?” Ben repeated, pulling his gaze from the tablet, and back to Brighid. He looked like a sand-cat who’d just stumbled upon a trove of fresh carcusses. 

“My first mission to the Temple on Coruscant. No historian had been there for over 20 years, and Luke wanted to see what I could find hidden in the rubble. Behind a large wall, in the back corner, boobytrapped might I add, was a holocron that held recordings from the helmets of command stormtroopers, as well as recording from street cameras on various planets. I’ve got another 10 holopads worth of information hidden throughout the Galaxy.” 

“Wow.”

“That’s all you’ve got,  _ wow _ ? I nearly cried when I saw this.”

“I just can’t believe it. I-I’ve never seen anything like this. Mom never showed me anything about Grandfather, or Grandmother. Well, my blood Grandparents. She’s told me plenty about Alderaan, and the Organas. That’s all she’ll talk about. Never about the Skywalkers or Amidalas.” Ben clicked on another video. 

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I… I uh-- don’t know what to say.” Brighid admitted.

“It’s okay, really. Can I keep watching this? Do you mind?”

“Go ahead, you’re free to borrow these whenever you wish.”

Ben took Brighid’s hand into her own. His skin was so warm against hers, and slick. It was kind of disgusting, but Brighid wouldn’t tell him that. Not when he was looking at her like he was now, with gratitude and admiration in his usually distant and broody gaze. Did his eyes always look so vibrant, like the dark shade of the volcanic rock found in the mountains of Naboo? Brighid’s stomach flipped. 

“Thank you, Brighid. This is amazing, so... thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Ben.”

Brighid pulled her hand from his, picking up the holopad she hid underneath her pillow. Ben wouldn’t judge her. She just knew he wouldn’t. Maybe he would even help her on this quest for answers. He seemed like the type. She nodded her head towards the holopad in his hand, and turned hers back on. Ben smiled, nudging his shoulder against Brighid’s. 

They sat like that for hours, far past sunset and into the early morning. Neither noticed the time, or if they did, didn’t care. 

“Who’s that beside Obi Wan?” Ben asked, zooming in on the tall, blonde haired woman firing her blasters at the rogue members of the Death Watch: Mandalorian assassins, anarchists and thieves.

“Oh, that’s Satine Kryze, otherwise known as the Duchess of Mandalore during the Clone Wars.” she glanced at Ben, and when he seemed to actually want to know more, continued talking. “She wanted to keep the Mandalorians out of the war, but the Separatist army wanted control of Mandalore for its warriors. Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Senator Amidala, and Anakin’s Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, were sent to Mandalore as ambassadors for the Republic. They aided Satine in her battle to keep Mandalore neutral, though ultimately failed. According to the records, Darth Maul impaled her on his lightsaber in front of Obi Wan.”

“Woah.”

“Yeah, and there’s rumors that she and Obi Wan had a secret romance. They’d know each other since Obi Wan was a Padawan, though I’ve seen no evidence that Obi Wan returned those feelings.”

“So, Anakin wasn’t the only one to break the rules.”

_ “Pfft _ , of course not, Jedi have been falling in love since the creation of the Order. The rules were meant to keep the Jedi from becoming too sympathetic to the plight of  _ ordinary people _ . We’re supposed to be diplomatic, without becoming political or too engaged in the happenings of the Galaxy, but how does that help anyone? If we can’t feel, what’s the point? That's why Luke doesn't enforce those rules anymore. He believes in compassion over ambivalence.”

_ Hmm _ . Ben hummed. Was he agreeing with her, or just trying to get her to stop talking? He tapped on the holopad, picking another record. 

The entrance to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant sprang into view. It was dark. The street lamps flickering as a squadron of storm-troopers trotted up the steps. A dark, hooded figure lead them. The young Darth Vader stepping into view, his burning yellow eyes staring straight into the camera.

Brighid ripped the holopad from Ben’s hands, turning it off, and sliding it under her pillow.

He didn’t need to see that, not tonight. 

“W-what?” Ben asked, still trying to wrap his mind around what he just saw.

“You don't need to see that.”

“Why?”

“What do you know about Order 66 and the Jedi Purge?”

“Oh.”

“Exactly. I’ve watched it once. It's not something I would like to go through again.” Brighid paused. “But you should watch it sometime...If-if you want to. Just to see.”

“We all have a darkside,” Ben noted. “Some more than others.”

“Do you think what your grandfather did was unavoidable?”

“No-- Yes... I don’t know. I don’t know much about him.” Ben set the holopad down. “Do you think what your father did was unavoidable?”

Brighid sighed. Of course he would bring that up. Just like everything he did was brought back to his parents, or grandparents, everything for Brighid was always brought back to her father. Her lying, skeeving, scumbag of a father. Would she ever escape from his shadow? Her mother thought there was good inside of him, but did Brighid?

“No, he was a crass and selfish man. He loved what he did, he was good at it, and never admitted to feeling remorse.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I know what’s it like to have a deadbeat father. Han Solo may have been a famous smuggler, and now a war-tuned General, but he’s not so great with kids.”

Why was he telling her this? Did Ben Solo actually feel sorry for her? He didn’t look like he was pitying her. She couldn’t see anything in his dark brown eyes. They bore through her, and saw the fear and anger she was trying so hard to hide. It mirrored the same look in his own, pained gaze. Maybe they were more alike than she thought.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Guys! A big Thank You to everyone that's left Kudos on this story, I really appreciate it.

Brighid hated living inside the Temple. It rained almost every night on Dornea, and back when she was living inside her tent she could hear the pitter-pattering of raindrops on the thin nylon awning, but inside the thick Temple walls, she could barely hear the rumble of thunder. There was no white-noise inside the Temple. She couldn’t even hear her neighbors next door. In the middle of the night, when Brighid could only hear her own heartbeat, the Temple felt more like a prison than a home.  


She snuck out of her room (though there was no reason to sneak) around midnight, passing down the dark hallways, and followed the sound of rain into the open courtyard. The drops splashed onto the light cobblestones, and slid into the drains at the edge of the square area. Brighid tapped her fingers on the square column, dragging her hand down its rough exterior. Almost everything in the courtyard had been hand crafted, even the gold metal leaves that decorated the drains. How they payed for all this, Brighid had no idea.   


This is what she missed. The cool Dornean nights. Brighid wrapped her thick green robe, a gift from her mother on her sixteenth birthday, tighter around herself, tilting her neck backwards and letting the cool breeze whip her crimson cheeks. Why couldn’t the rooms be closer to the courtyard? 

The council chambers, main meditating chamber, and archives/library took up the rooms surrounding the courtyard, all stacked on top of the other, with the sleeping quarters spread throughout the temple. Brighid’s room was on the first floor, near the spire in the back left hand corner. The rest of the Jedi Knights, when they eventually returned from their mission, and the Master’s all lived in the same area as her. The padawans and younglings slept on the second floor, near the meditation room-- even Ben. 

Brighid sat down on the stone, her flesh protesting at the cold surface, but she didn’t care. It was quiet out here. There were no voices, and she finally felt at peace. Her eyes flickered over the mantra etched into the columns:

_ There is no emotion, there is peace. _

_ There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. _

_ There is no passion, there is serenity. _

_ There is no chaos, there is harmony. _

_ There is no death, there is the Force. _

These were the words that kept the First Jedi on the path of the light, and now in Luke's Order they'd embraced emotions in order to gain more knowledge, and harmony. She loved it here. She loved spending time with Luke, Ben, and the Younglings. This is where she was meant to be. With a sigh, Brighid leant back against a pillar and closed her eyes, falling asleep to the soothing sound of rain cascading down the 3 level high Temple. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know the last chapter was a bit short, but this one is extra long to make up for it!

“I can’t do this anymore,” Ben complained, falling onto his back. Anakin’s lightsaber sat in front of him, completely undone: Brighid’s work. “It doesn’t want to work for me.”

“Then we’ll just have to find pieces that will.” Brighid said, dusting her knees before standing. “I’m going out. Stay here, and work on the saber. Maybe without the distraction of me in the room everything will meld together smoothly.”

“How would you be a distraction?”

“Anything can be a distraction, Ben.” Brighid opened the door to Ben’s room, and hovered between the threshold. Could he do this? Maybe Luke was right to hesitate. If Ben failed this task, he wouldn't be allowed to move onto the Trials. She shook her head. No, Ben could do this.  _ He had to do this _ . It was in his blood. “Don’t give up.”

“Yes,  _ Master _ ,” Ben called out as the door closed tight behind her. 

Brighid found Luke in the main council chamber, alone-- for once. It seemed like months since she’d been alone with him. There always seemed to be a youngling hovering near him, like a little lost puppy, but all the younglings and Padawans were in the main meditation room with Masters Dar, and Panchorn. 

“It’s been weeks since I’ve had time alone,” Luke said as she closed the door. He stood in the middle of the chamber, staring up at the star-littered ceiling. 

They’d built this part of the Temple to resemble the night sky. Gold lines depicted the outline of major constellations, while the night sky itself was dark blue and green, with silver flakes bursting across the rounded ceiling like an asteroid shower. At the apex of the ceiling was the golden figure of The Force, in the form of a woman, known as The Mother, and in her hands she held the symbol of the Jedi Order; a round sphere with the image of spread wings, surrounding what seemed to be a lightsaber-- with a single star in the middle.

“So, you spend your time off in here?”

“At least I don’t hole myself up in my room, obsessing over things that I shouldn’t be.”

“Oh.” So, he was in a mood. Brighid turned to leave. She shouldn’t have come anyway.

“Stay.” Luke’s voice stopped her. “Stay and talk with me. I feel like it’s been months since we’ve talked. I’ve missed you.”

How could she say no to that?

“Okay, I’ll stay.” 

Luke sat down in the middle of the room, away from the chairs, and benches. He patted the spot next to him, and Brighid joined him. She leaned against his shoulder, and listened to the rumble of Luke’s voice, as they both stared at the ceiling. 

“I remember when we decided on the spot for this Temple. The exact moment, but it still doesn’t seem real. None of this does.”

“You’re surprised you pulled this off, really? You’re  _ Luke Skywalker _ .”

“See, that doesn’t mean anything to me. It never has. I feel like I’m still just that kid back on Tatooine, dreaming about leaving all that sand behind.”

“I feel like that sometimes too. I wake up in the morning and I have to remind myself that I’m older, and not stuck in the past.”

Luke sighed, pulling Brighid closer to him. His lips pressing into the crest of her head. Brighid never felt that her real father loved her. Not once. She  _ knew _ Luke loved her. He had always been her family. He would never leave her. 

“You know I care for you, right? I’m always here for you, Brighid, I always will be. No matter what.”

“I know.”

“Good, now tell me what’s been bothering you. Is it Ben?”

Brighid groaned. Of course he would get all sappy and try and get her to talk about this. Classic Luke.

“No, Ben’s been great, surprisingly so.”

“Really? All Leia will tell me is that he’s a little shit, with a heart of gold,  _ of course _ , but still a little shit.”

“You could try and get to know him better, Luke. He is your nephew.”

“Yeah, I know, and I should have already, but there’s just so much going on. I feel like I don’t have time for him.” Luke pulled his hand down the sun-kissed expanse of his face. “He’s taken a liking to you though, and I’m glad. He needs support.”

Brighid picked at the edge of her cloak. Should she tell him about the voices? Would he understand? 

“You know, when I first started my training with Master Yoda, I thought trying to train a Padawan myself would be impossible. I didn’t have patience back then. I always wanted to  _ go _ , and be a part of the war, helping Leia and Han. Then after the fall of the Empire, I felt empty. That’s when I knew I had to start a new Order. My real destiny wasn’t just to bring my father back into the light. I was meant for something more.” Luke paused. “I didn’t truly understand why, until I met you. You’re my greatest achievement, Brighid. I can’t believe how much you’ve grown over the years, and how wise you are. I don’t tell you this enough, but I think… I think of you as my own daughter, and I’m so proud of you.”

How did Brighid get so lucky? She had everything,  _ everything _ and yet there was still a part of her that yearned for more: more power. It consumed her, filling every spare moment with an aching need to take what was hers, though none of this belonged to her. She did not deserve it. The younglings in the floor below them did. They were truly innocent and good. 

“I...I can feel it,” Brighid whispered, afraid if she spoke much louder the others would somehow be able to hear her. “I--uh feel the pull to the darkside. It’s inside of me... begging me to give in. I won’t give in. I promise you, I won’t.”

“I know,” Luke said, pulling Brighid closer to him. “I know.”

* * *

  
_ Tap Tap _ . The soft knock on her door woke Brighid. With a flick of her wrist the light in her room turned on, and she sluggishly threw on her green robe, before shuffling to her door, and wrenching it open. If it was an assassin she would thank him for putting her out of her misery at being woken up so rudely. 

“I did it!” Ben shouted.

Brighid’s eyes snapped open. She took in the slightly hazy figure of Ben Solo, his hair mused from his pulling on it all afternoon, and evening. The beard he’d been growing seemed darker now, and there was a fresh ring of red around his dark, dark eyes that shined with so much joy, and pride that Brighid couldn’t help but launch herself into his arms. The sharp edge of the lightsaber poked her ribs, but she didn’t care. She knew he could do it. She knew it.

“I did it,” he muttered into her shoulder, squeezing Brighid for all she had. “I did it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13! We're nearing the end, I'm gonna guess there will probably be another 5 chapters. Prepare yourselves.

Two weeks after Ba’er left, Kemah and Jeryn returned to Dornea. Unlike with Brighid, they were immediately brought into the Temple. The Masters sat in their circular meeting room, with Brighid hovering in the background. The two empty chairs lit up by the forms of General Organa, and Ba’er. A message from the First Order had been broadcast to the Galaxy that morning. There was no time to celebrate the success of Kemah and Jeryn’s mission.

“The First Order now has a seat in the Republic Senate,” Kemah said. She threw a side-eyed glance at Brighid. They’d all seen the recording of the Senate meeting from over a month ago. “It seems Brighid’s words were not enough to sway them.”

“Their pockets are too deep,” Leia’s voice crackled through the holocron. 

“And their minds too weak,” added Master Medina. 

“What is the consensus of the Resistance, Leia?” Luke asked.

Leia looked to Ba’er. Did she not know? Was there a consensus? 

“Admiral Statura called for a meeting of the commanders, but not everyone has arrived yet.” Ba’er paused. “We fear that the ones who are not here have been captured, or are dead. There are multiple reports of surprise attacks on Resistance friendly sectors on both Hosnian Prime, and Coruscant.”

“They’re targeting the poor districts. A recent defector claims they are kidnapping children, for an unknown use.” Leia added. 

Luke pressed his head into the palm of his hands. The other three Masters shared a concerned look. Luke sat in the middle, with Medina on his right, and the other two Masters, Faolan Dar and Anastasya Panchorn, to his left. Faolan leaned back in his chair to catch Brighid’s gaze. His dark brown, almost black hair was cropped short to his head, and his green eyes bore into her. What did he want?

He beckoned her with the crook of his long, tanned fingers. With a sigh, Brighid pushed off the wall, and slunk to his chair. Faolan’s nickname during training was The Owl. Luke said he could hear anything in a mile radius, but he’d only ever told that on the days when Brighid was being a particular pain in the butt. She didn’t believe him.

“Padawan Solo is listening from the other side of that door,” Faolan whispered in her ear, and pointed with his head in the direction of the door. His breath tickling the fine hairs inside of her ears. “Go see if he wants to come in... yeah?”

“How can you tell?”

Faolan pointed to his ears. Right, his owl-like hearing. 

Just as Faolan said, when Brighid opened the door, she found Ben about to jump over the edge of the railing. She shut the door firmly before calling out to Ben:

“Hey, if you’re going to try and eavesdrop, you probably shouldn’t do it with a room full of Jedi Masters.”

Ben’s head popped back over the edge. A sheepish grin pulling at the corner of his pink lips. 

“Since you’re  _ technically _ my apprentice, you’re making me look bad. So, get your butt inside. Congratulations, you’ve been invited in.”

Brighid and Ben walked back into the chamber, side-by-side. She felt him flinch when he saw the crackling blue form of his mother lounging in one of the chairs, and pressed her hand against his arm. 

“I’m fine,” he hissed.

“You can’t lie to me,” she replied before stalking further into the room. 

“Good. You’re back.” Luke said. Everyone looked in their direction, watching as the two Jedi stopped at the edge of the circle, standing beside Luke’s chair, which faced directly at Ba’er and Leia. “We’ve made a decision.”

“About what?” Brighid asked. She’d only been gone for 30 seconds, what could they have possibly decided while she was gone? Was there something she didn’t know?

“We’re sending out a team to find the missing Resistance Officers.” Ba’er spoke, pulling Brighid’s attention from Luke. “Kemah and Jeryn will leave immediately for Coruscant, then Hosnian Prime, since the Resistance has been barred from making any entrance to these locations per the request of the Senate.”

Why weren’t they sending her? She was the one Luke boasted about being able to “find things.” Wasn’t this mission tailor-made for her? Brighid swiveled back to Luke. What were they up to?

“You’re needed here. To finish Ben’s training,” Luke stated, standing from his chair. “We know the last known location of the officers. If your skills are needed, Kemah or Jeryn will contact you, here.”

Brighid took a step backwards. No, there was something else. Luke was uneasy, she could see it in his eyes as he watched her reaction. 

_ They don’t trust you _ , the voice returned. It growled in her ear like the warning of a Bantha. A shot of repulsion tingled town her spine, settling against her lungs.  _ They think you’re weak _ .

_ “I’m Not Weak!”  _ She wanted to scream, but found herself unable to make a noise.

A finger grazed the back of her arm: Ben. She took a deep breath. Everything would be okay. Kemah and Jeryn were older than her, more experienced. Before becoming a Jedi, Kemah lived as a hunter on Rodia. She knew how to track, far better than Brighid could rely on her skill. Luke was not trying to trick her.

“Of course, whatever the council deems best.” Brighid bowed, slightly. As she exited the bow, she glanced at Ben. Why did he touch her back then? Did he know? Could he hear the voices too? Back at the Temple, on Takodana, they’d both heard a voice. Was this the same one? Why did his touch calm her?

“Very good... everything is settled. We shall leave at once,” Jeryn said, his thick accent echoing off the high stone walls. He looked at Kemah and the two Jedi strode out of the room. Their heads close together as they argued over who would pilot and co-pilot. 

“Luke,” Leia’s voice appeared. She stood now, twiddling her thumbs as Luke walked over to her. She whispered something in his ear, and he nodded.

“It is good to see you, Little Jedi, you look well,” Ba’er jeered. 

Brighid smiled, pulling Ben with her as she walked over to Ba’er’s bright blue form. He looked good, better than good. He wore a long-sleeve shirt, adorned with the runes of his homeworld. So, she thought, the Resistance base was somewhere cold. That, or Leia had somehow found a way to convince Ba’er to cover his arms. Brighid couldn't remember a time when he’d worn sleeves before. 

“How are you doing, Ba’er?”

“Good. I feel like I could wrestle a Chiilak, and win.” 

Brighid laughed. A Chiilak is a thick-furred, six-limbed biped that inhabits the glacial regions of the moon Misnor, a sector far from where Ba’er grew up, but he’d encountered three during his time as a pilot in the Rebellion. He used to tell her about the legends surrounding the Chiilak and it’s ability to drag people under water and consume them in one bite. 

“I’m glad you’re... happy.” Ben grumbled. 

Brighid elbowed him, hard. He huffed.

“Do you think they’ll find the missing officers?”

“I hope so.” Ba’er looked across the room. Brighid turned. Faolan was walking towards them. “Hello, Faolan. It is good to see your ugly maw.”

“Evening, Ba’er,” Faolan drawled. He placed a hand on Brighid’s shoulder. His presence was chilly compared to what Ba’er’s touch would have been. “It is a pity what has happened to your friends. I’m sure Kemah will find them.”

“Yes, though they could have used your help.”

“Someone must stay here and keep an eye on things.”

“Are you worried about something?” Ba’er asked, sitting back down.

Brighid looked at Ben. He shrugged his shoulders. What was going on between these two?

“We all know something is coming, Ba’er. Whatever it is will have an impact here. I wish to protect what we have all worked so hard to create.”

_ Hmmm _ . Ba’er hummed. He turned abruptly and started talking to someone on his end.    


“I’ve got to go. It was good seeing all of you. Though, you do not all look good in blue.” Ba’er confessed, and his form shuddered, before disappearing altogether. 

“Come, Brighid, Young Solo must speak with his mother.”

“I-” Ben uttered.

“Ben!” Luke called out.

They turned towards Luke. Leia shifted from foot to foot beside him, a hopeful gleam in her normally stoic gaze. Faolan nudged Ben forward. He looked back at Brighid, pleading with his large brown eyes. She shook her head. She couldn’t keep him from this. Her reach only went so far.

“Shall we?” Faolan asked, pulling Brighid with him. Her short form pressed tightly against his lean body. The point of her nose shoved into the light blue fabric of his shirt. Faolan always dressed like he was meant to be spending a day at the beach. “It’s been too long since we talked, Brighid.”

“We’ve both been busy.”

“Yes,” Faolan looked back over his shoulder one last time. What was he looking at? Ben, and Leia? What was going on? “How have you been feeling? Having any dark thoughts?”

“No.”

“Good. We wouldn’t want anything tempting you away from us.

Brighid pulled them to a stop. She looked over the edge of the railing. They were only on the third floor. She could easily survive the jump.

“Whatever you want to say, you might as well say it, Faolan.”

“I’m worried about you, and Ben. There’s something hovering around you. I can hear it, whispering in the night.”

“Oh, of course you can.”

“This isn’t a joke, Brighid.”

“No, it isn’t,” she agreed. “And if there was anything wrong, Luke would know.”

“Master Skywalker cannot see everything.”

“No, but he knows me, and if he was truly worried about me falling, then he would say something.”

“Would he?” Faolan asked.

_ Would he? _ Brighid’s nose wrinkled. Why did Faolan do this? What was he looking for? He was such a rat--

Faolan jumped over the ledge. 

“Hey!” Brighid shouted, leaning over the railing. She watched him land gracefully on two feet, before turning to look back up at her, saluting her with his left hand.

“One of us was going to jump, I thought it should be me.” Faolan said, and then disappeared down the hallway to the left. 

“ _ One of us was going to jump, I thought it should be me, _ ” Brighid mimicked. What an ass. 

Brighid slumped against the railing. Was Faolan right? He had a point. She was hearing voices, and they weren’t exactly good, but they weren’t evil either-- or at least Brighid couldn’t tell. Only once did they try to convince her to do something bad, back in the Temple on Takodana. Since then, they’d been more distant, always there, repeating the fears she had but refused to speak. Was that all it took to fall?

“You alright?” Ben’s voice shook Brighid out of her thoughts.

She turned towards her apprentice and smiled. He looked worse than she felt. The red in his eyes betraying the cool expression he tried to slide over his features. It was no use, she knew better now. Ben Solo had feelings, and they all could be lead back to one thing: his mother.

“Probably doing better than you,” she replied.

“Yah.” he huffed. “Probably.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy October everyone! Hope you like this chapter, it was a tizzy to write. See you in the next chapters!

To pass from Padawan to Jedi Knight one must complete The Trial of Five, a combination of the Trial of Skill, the Trial of Courage, the Trial of the Flesh, the Trial of Spirit, and the Trial of Insight. During times of strife, and war, a trial could be the exemplary actions of the Padawan, as was the case of Anakin Skywalker. In the case of Ben Solo, Brighid had a much better idea: He would go through the trials with her by his side. Luke forced her to stay behind, to finish Ben’s training, so that’s what she’d do.

Ben’s trial started at the peak of the tallest mountain on the island. They stood side-by-side on the cliff's edge. A colony of seagulls swarmed the white-spotted, stone cliffside, diving in intervals to their nests that were nestled in the cracks and tiny breaks in stone, feeding their screaming offspring the fish they scooped from the raging sea below.

“Do you think they know if they fed the wrong kid?” Ben asked.

“I don’t think they’d care-- at least a mouth was fed.” Brighid answered, pulling her cloak tighter against her body. It was cold here, the wind blew up the side of the cliff with a vengeance. 

Ben clucked his tongue, peering further over the cliff’s edge. With a single step forward he could be sent sailing into the deep blue waters below. His body most likely impaled onto the sharp rocks that jutted out of the waves. 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Brighid took a step forward. 

“Yes. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Ben said, with as much conviction as Brighid had ever heard in his voice. “Yes.”

“We do this together, then.”

Ben nodded. He took a step back, and let Brighid throw the long, dark brown rope over the edge of the cliff. They’d secured it to the old, looming dark tree near the peak of the mountain, and around it’s trunk they placed their sabers, and cloaks. Ben stripped down to just his undershirt and long, black training pants, as Brighid slowly, and methodically folder her cloak into a perfect square. She placed it on the ground like a Priestess would offer a sacrifice up to their deities. 

Together, they lowered themselves down the rope, with no security lines around their waist, just the eyes of their partner watching their backs as they cascaded down the jagged cliffside, finding purchase in small pockets, and medium sized ledges. Brighid went down first. Her gloves the only thing keeping her hands from turning to fire as she slid down the nylon rope. She kept her focus on Ben the whole time, swinging the rope to and from each nest he scrambled to, after he placed the egg(s) in the satchel strewn across his chest.

A quarter of the way down the cliff a smattering of rocks fell down at them from a previous spot, raining on the soft flesh of their heads. A few drops of crimson fell from Ben’s scalp, to Brighid’s like a fine summer rain. She bit her tongue to keep from yelling up at him. The noise would only frighten the birds, and they only meant to steal the unborn eggs, not startle the whole colony. 

They moved like this for hours, the muscles of each Jedi straining, and screaming as they continued to push off the jagged cliff, further down towards the waves. As the sun made it’s descent, Ben made the signal to push back to the top. Going down was easy, all they had to do was slide, but going back up, it used every bit of strength both Jedi possessed to grapple from one ledge, to another.

“I-I can’t hold on,” Ben groaned. “My gloves keep slipping on the stupid rope.”

They stopped on a large ledge, about 3/4ths of the way to the top. Brighid placed her rough, gloved hand on Ben’s shoulder, her hand moving in time with each ragged breath Ben took, like a boat riding on the waves in the midst of the sea. 

“We’ll rest, for just a moment.” 

Ben slumped back against the wall, and Brighid stared out at the ocean, watching as the sun made it’s descent towards the horizon. They needed to make it back up before sunset. The moons wouldn’t allow for enough illumination of the cliff for them to make it back up safely, which is what she planned to do. The trials are meant to test a Jedi’s inner, and outer strength, not kill them. 

“Ready?”

“ _ Heh _ \- No.” Ben coughed. “But let’s go anyway. Me first still?”

“Yes, I’ve gotta make sure you don’t fall to your death.”

“What about you?”

“You’re worried about me now, eh? After we’ve been at this for hours?”

“Well, yeah, I don’t want to think about how badly my arms hurt…I’d, uh, rather worry about you.”

“Shut up and climb.”

With a choked laugh, like that of a starved hyenae, Ben threw himself onto the rope, searching for more foot-holes that they could traverse back up with. If he chose the wrong one, it could send an avalanche of rock directly into Brighid’s face. She hoped he could tell well enough what rocks were loose, and which weren’t. 

They made it up another ten feet, before another crack thundered through the cliff. It sounded like a slab of the Earth was shaking loose, as a pocket of jagged stone pummeled down directly towards Ben. Brighid launched herself, and the rope, to the side, pulling Ben with her, but it wasn’t enough. He was going to get hit, and fall and die.

“Ben!” She screamed. 

Everything happened in slow motion, or at least it seemed that way. With one hand on the rope, holding herself aloft, she planted both feet into the rock and focused all her energy on the debri tumbling towards Ben. The smallest stones danced off to the side, pushed away by the power Brighid wielded, but the two largest boulders continued their assault towards Ben. She wasn’t strong enough. She’d failed,  _ again _ . 

Mid-thought, the stones stopped, and hovered in mid-air. Brighid looked towards Ben and saw his body in the same position as Brighid’s. His left hand raised above him, fingers curling in on themselves as he maneuvered the boulders five feet to the left, before dropping his arm, and they both watched the stone splash into the raging ocean. 

_ He did it _ . Brighid beamed with pride. Ben did it. She was so proud of him, and slightly jealous. She’d been unable to control enough of the Force to stop the boulders, but instead of wallowing in her own insecurities, Brighid continued to climb up the rope, behind Ben. They moved twice as fast as before, both Jedi spurned by the actions of Ben. 

They made it to the top, breathless, but alive. Brighid patted Ben awkwardly on the arm. Her hand pressed against his sweat-dampened shirt. Normally it would have grossed her out, but  _ he did it, _ he passed the first trial. Instead of accomplishing just the Trial of Courage, he’d also mastered the Trial of Skill. 

“So, I..I--uh take it I passed?” Ben panted, as Brighid finally pulled the rest of the rope up the side of the cliff. A strange smile curved his lips, one Brighid had never seen before. 

“Yes.” She laughed. “Only three more to go: Flesh, Spirit, and Insight. Think you can handle it?”

“We’ll find out.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15! Just chuggin' on. Let me know what you think <3

The first week after the inclusion of the First Order in the Republic Senate, the Masters set up a surveillance schedule for the the Temple. Brighid’s shift, 9pm to midnight, turned out to be the best thing to happen to her since she’d returned from the mission, almost a year ago. Most nights she sat in the courtyard, a section of holopads showing her the area surrounding the outside of the Temple, as well as the many hallways inside the square building. She could see everything that happened. 

It was the best, because she no longer had a hard time falling asleep. After sitting, and patrolling for four hours, she was more than ready to go to bed when Faolan relieved her. 

“Hello Brighid,” Faolan said as he stepped into the courtyard. Though, it always looked like he was gliding, instead of walking. Brighid could never tell if his feet really touched the ground. 

She looked up from the holopads and smiled.  _ Sleep _ , it was finally time to sleep. Brighid let Faolan sit before collecting her personal holopads, sliding them into her medium sized brown bag. Faolan settled into one of the semi-uncomfortable metal chairs and scrolled through the surveillance-pads. He stopped on the camera that showed the hallway nearest the younglings.

“Does Ben sleepwalk?” Faolan asked, turning the screen so Brighid could see.

“What?”

On the screen, Ben was stalking up and down the hallways, his saber firmly held in his right hand. He hadn’t ignited it, but from the grimace contorting his lips, it looked like he soon would. What had him so angry? Ben stalked out of frame, and Faolan struggled to keep up with him, switching from camera to camera. 

“He’s heading down the stairs, I’ll go after him.” Brighid set down her bag, and picked up her sabers, strapping the smaller one to her back, and kept the blue one in her hand. If worse came to worse, she’d find a way to knock Ben out, without maiming him. A saber hilt hit to head should do the trick. 

“I’ll let you know if he changes course.”

“Thanks,” Brighid called out, racing back into the Temple, and towards the corner staircase. 

She heard Ben before she saw him. He made no effort to conceal his steps as he stomped down the carpeted staircase. She could also hear Ben’s voice, muttering something she couldn’t quite make out. 

Brighid slunk back into the shadows, on the side of the staircase, hidden from all view, but that behind her. She watched as Ben stomped through the doorway; his saber still held firmly in his right hand. What was he doing? Was he awake?

As soon as he passed through the doorway, she pounced. Knocking both of them to the ground, Brighid straddling Ben’s chest, her hands outstretched, pinning Ben’s arms to the ground, and digging her knees into his side. Ben growled, thrashing, pushing with his hips to try and fling Brighid off of him like a raging bull.

“Ben!” She hissed. “Ben!”

Ben continued to thrash, showing no evidence that he could hear her. Brighid channeled the Force to push down on Ben’s legs, freezing him from the waist down. When she tackled him, she’d forced both of the sabers out of their hands. Ben’s saber wiggled, jostling from it’s position two feet from Ben’s hand. Even in his sleep he could manipulate the Force. Brighid growled. What would he do once he had it in his grasp?

“No,” Ben moaned. “No, no, no, no.”

“Ben… Ben, wake up, Ben!”

“Weak... you’re weak.”

The saber lifted from the floor, and moved another inch closer to Ben’s palm. 

“Ben, stop! Wake. Up.”

He just needed to wake up. Whatever dream had control over him would disappear and he wouldn’t try to kill her. Brighid just needed to wake him up. She looked at the saber, and back to Ben’s sweat coated face. It looked even more pale than usual. 

“Don’t you dare try to kill me,” Brighid growled. She had to wake him.

With a groan, Brighid released Ben’s arms, and slammed her sweaty palms against the side of Ben’s head. She closed her eyes and screamed. “Wake up! Wake up! Wake Up!” She streamed the phrase into Ben’s mind. Echoing her words in every corner of his brain. The power of her intrusion forced Ben’s eyes open. His dark eyes staring straight into the ceiling. 

She heard the saber collide with Ben’s hand, and felt the scalding blade ignite in the dark hallway. Would he kill her? After everything she’d been through, Ben Solo would be the one to finally end it all. How poetic. At least she would see her mother again. 

“BEN!” She shouted, one last time, sending a jolt of pain into his mind, forcing him to feel the fear that radiated in her own veins. It pulsed in time with her erratic heartbeat. 

The heat of the saber disappeared. It rattled on the floor beside them. Brighid took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Ben’s dark brown eyes stared back at her, with a face full of pure shame. She removed her hands from his face, and rolled onto the floor beside him, her chest heaving. Slowly, she reached for Ben’s hand, her fingers crawling over the thick, soft carpet, warily touching his long fingers. Ben took her hand into his, wrapping his slick fingers around hers, and closing them in a tight embrace.

They sat like that until Luke appeared around the corner. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. Just before Luke could see, Brighid swiftly unclasped their hands. Then, Brighid sat up, taking both of their sabers into her grasp. She could still feel his heartbeat against her palm. She pressed her saber to her chest, between her breasts. It pressed her mother’s ashes further into her skin.

“What happened? Why do you both look like death? Are you okay? What happened?” Luke rattled off question after question, not letting either Jedi speak, until he’d checked them over for injuries. He found none, besides a bruise blossoming on Brighid’s knees; from colliding with the ground, after tackling Ben, but nothing life threatening. Ben just looked like he’d had the air knocked out of him, which, to be fair, he had.

“I-I had a bad dream,” Ben choked out. 

“I’d say it was a bit more than that,” Luke grumbled. He turned to Brighid. Would she know more? 

Brighid shook her head.  _ No _ . 

Luke sighed, pulling his hand down his face. The dark circles beneath his eyes more pronounced than ever. 

“If you’re both okay…”

“We are,” Brighid answered, throwing a look towards Ben. They couldn’t bother Luke, especially not now.

“You sure?” Luke looked to Ben.

“Yes, Uncle, I’m fine.”

“Okay. Okay, let’s-- uh, let’s get you back to bed, then.”

“Gladly,” Ben mumbled.

Luke pulled Ben to his feet, and with a hand on his nephew’s shoulder, escorted him back up the stairs. Brighid trailed behind them, watching Ben as he struggled up the stairs. What happened to him? It was like he wasn’t in control of his body. What had he said on the stairs, before she tackled him? Why did he say ‘they were weak’? What did this mean?

Brighid and Luke watched Ben crawl back into bed. She looked between the two Skywalkers and suddenly felt like she was imposing on a family-moment. Why had she followed them up the stairs? Luke was more than capable of bringing Ben back to bed himself. 

_ You needed to make sure he was okay _ , a voice supplied for her. A feminine voice that sounded nothing like the other voice that usually inhabited Brighid’s thoughts. It had an ethereal quality to it, almost like it wasn’t real. No mortal-being could sound like this. It was too perfect. Too calm. 

“Let me know when you wake.” Luke said, patting the covers on top of Ben. “We’ll talk, and I’ll have Medina come look over you.”

“Sounds good, Uncle.”

“Good. Good.” Luke muttered. He looked to Brighid, and nodded his head towards her, before exiting into the hallway. This is the second time Brighid saved Ben.

The door wooshed closed behind Luke, leaving the two Jedi to stare at each other, both uncomfortable about the whole experience. Brighid shifted from foot to foot, trying to formulate something, anything, to say to Ben. Whilst the boy stared straight up into his ceiling, avoiding Brighid all together.

“So.” She said after too long of an awkward moment.

“So.”

“You’d tell me if it was something major, right?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…” Ben shifted in his bed, the covers rustled as he moved into a sitting position. The light beside his bed casting a shadow over his face. 

Brighid sat down in the seat in the corner of his room. The Clone Wars holopad in the middle of his desk connected to a charging port. She tapped her fingers against the metal desk, the sound echoing in the medium-sized room. She looked around the room, noticing the cleanliness of it, and the fact that there was nothing in here, besides the holopad, that didn’t belong to the room. No personalized touches. Nothing.

“I’m sorry.” Ben’s voice rattled her back into consciousness. 

“For what?”

“Trying to kill you.” 

Brighid laughed. What a flippant way to apologize for trying to kill her. At least he still acted like himself.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“Do you?” Ben fiddled with the dark green covers, folding it over and over again before letting it unravel and cover all of his lap. 

“More than you think,” Brighid replied. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Brighid stood. She’d had enough of this. Ben needed sleep.  _ She _ needed sleep. “You need sleep.”

“So do you.”

“If…” Brighid paused, and took a deep breath before continuing. “If you need something, just call. I can be here in seconds.”

Ben scoffed.

“I mean it, Ben.  _ Anything _ , if anything bothers you, call me.” Brighid shuffled over to Ben’s bed. She placed her hand on the part of the comforter that didn’t touch him. “I care about you, Ben. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this.”

She didn’t look at Ben, nor wait for his reply, but swept out of the room like a ghost. Why did she say that? 

“ _ I care for you _ ,” she mimicked, mentally kicking herself in her dumb, emotional ass. She didn’t  _ care _ for him. Ben is her apprentice, of course she cared, but she didn’t  _ care _ . Brighid couldn’t  _ care _ . That wasn’t her thing. How could she be so stupid? What did Ben think? Would things be uncomfortable between them now? Why did she say that?

Brighid expected to run into Luke on her way back to the courtyard, but her Master was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he went back to bed? Where she should be. With a sigh, Brighid collected her bag, and shuffled to her bed. She didn’t say goodbye to Faolan, or bother to change clothes when she finally made it to her room. Brighid simply flung her bag onto her desk, mentally turned off the lights-- too lazy to physically turn the switch-- and collapsed onto her bed. 


	16. Chapter 16

“You and that saber really seem to work as one, now,” Brighid commented from her seated position on the training room floor. “So, let’s try something new, eh?”

“Sure,” Ben panted. “What do you have in mind?”

“Saber please.” 

Ben tossed the hunk of metal at his Master. She caught it with her left hand, and tucked it into the front pocket of her training jacket. With her right hand she motioned for Ben to take a stance. He moved his legs so he was perfectly balanced, with the front of his body faced towards the small, circular training probe. The purple and red lights on it’s metal frame blinked once, twice, and they were off.

Ben dodged the blasts that shot out from the orb, flipping off the wall, and maneuvering his tall frame in forms the traveling circus from Aquilae would be jealous of **.** This went on for several rounds, before Brighid clapped her hand, once, and the orb stopped mid-air. She let Ben catch his breath before speaking. After months of training, beneath both Ba’er and Brighid, his once lanky body now had definition, and muscles, that molded his thin shoulders into a broader frame that resembled the look of his grandfather. 

“That...that wasn’t anything new,” Ben complained.

“I know. Just making sure your reflexes are still as proficient without your saber.”

“And?”

“This time I don’t want you to dodge the blasts--”

“What?! You want me to get hit?” A spark of anger passed over Ben’s dark brown eyes like a flash of lightning. 

“No,” Brighid said, careful to watch Ben as his chest heaved, waiting for the true flare of his temper. She’d seen it more and more over the passing weeks. They’d mutually agreed to not talk about  _ that night _ , but it still lingered in the long gazes both Jedi sometimes took, when they thought the other wasn’t looking. “You won’t get hit if you stop them.”

“How?”

“You’ve shown me you can freeze running targets mid stride, and tumbling boulders... let’s see if you can do the same to the blast from a training probe.”

“They move too fast!” 

“You’ll just have to move faster.”

“You’re just trying to kill me,” Ben grumbled. The anger disappearing from his gaze. 

“Probably,” Brighid grinned. “Just say when.”

Ben shook out his limbs, and rolled up the grey sleeves of his sweatshirt to reveal the strong veins of his forearms. He took in a deep breath, letting the air filter in through his mouth, and out through his nose; settling into a trance Ba’er taught to him months ago. One that cleared his mind-- as much as possible. 

Brighid closed her eyes, letting the Force flow through her, and surround Ben in a semi-protective shield. If, and when, he was hit, the full blow of the paralyzing blast wouldn’t knock him out-- at least not on the first shot. 

“Ready.” Ben said.

The training probe beeped once, and Brighid opened her eyes, just in time to see the first blast slam into Ben’s chest. He stumbled backwards, shock enlarging his brown eyes like a child who’d just seen stars from inside a spaceship for the first time. Frenzied, he looked to Brighid.

“Again?” She asked. Could he take this? 

Ben nodded.

“Again.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He had to learn how to do this sometime, right?


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys we're getting close to the end! Thanks for reading <3

Sometimes, when Brighid woke, the first thing she saw was her mother, her dead mother, hovering beside her bed-- weeping. Neither of them speak, only stare at one another wondering if they should say something, anything. Brighid would always try to speak, but Diana would shake her head and place her finger to her lips, motioning for Brighid to stay quiet. Brighid wanted to tell her mother she loved her, but was it really her mother? Or was she an omen? Brighid figured if she was it didn’t matter. At least she got to see her again.

Brighid woke early the morning of Ben’s second trial. She sluggishly washed her hair in the small shower in her connected bathroom, and changed into her formal (read: clean) Jedi robes. As she braided her hair, the conversation with Medina and Luke, from the night before, echoed in her thoughts.

_“You coddle him,” Medina stated. Her tail swished as she talked, as if it had a mind of it’s own. Though, Brighid knew better. Nothing Medina did was unintentional. “He must continue the Trials.”_

_“I don’t mean to coddle him,” Brighid muttered. “I also don’t want to push him too far.”_

_“He’s ready. He can handle it, Brighid.” Luke placed a steadying hand on her shoulder. “This is your first Padawan, and you have trained him well. Trust in yourself and the Force.”_

_“But, the dream-walking--”_

_“Nothing has happened since. It’s been a week. I’ve examined him twice, and the symptoms of insomnia and increased levels of stress explain the dream-walking. It’s not unusual for a Padawan mid-trial to experience this.” Medina said._

_“I agree with Medina, don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from continuing his training. He’s ready.”_

_Brighid nodded, falling into a short bow before the two Jedi Masters. She would give the second test tomorrow._

Brighid hovered outside Ben’s door. She knocked softly at first, and when she didn’t hear the lights flicker on, knocked again-- much louder. She stopped when she heard Ben’s growl through the metal door. What she didn’t hear were the words, she assumed they were actually curses, he spoke as he shuffled towards it. She could see the shadow of his form, and felt the lock unhitch, and the door slide slowly open.

“Too early.” Ben mumbled.

His hair stuck up in every direction, and there was a bit of dried drool around his lips. Brighid cocked her head, like a confused dog, and Ben frowned. He looked so normal. Even after months of knowing Ben, and training him, it still surprised her how normal he seemed.

“Get dressed, your Trial continues today,” she said.

Brighid stepped into the room. She went to the dresser in the corner of the room and picked out clothing for Ben as he walked down the hall to the communal bathrooms. Every piece of clothing inside the drawer was folded, perfectly, and placed in rows of corresponding color, and use. It took her seconds to find his formal black pants, tunic, belt, and underclothing. She spent the rest of the time marveling at the organization.

“What’s the plan?” Ben asked, as he walked back into the room, a towel wrapped tightly across his lower body. The water from his shower still stuck to the crevices of his too-pale torso, and chest. The aroma of ordinary soap wafting after him in a thin fog. Ben caught Brighid’s gaze, and strutted like a sand-cat after a particularly rousing evening.

Brighid avoided looking at his glistening body, and with an exaggerated sigh, tossed the clothing towards him. Why didn’t she make him take the clothes with him? How did he shower so fast? Was his hair even wet?

“Your next trial will take place in the simulation room.” Brighid side-stepped to the door. “Meet me there in twenty minutes, and don’t forget your saber.”

“It only happened one time,” Ben growled.

“Once is enough!” Brighid sang as she shut the door behind her.

* * *

 

Brighid stood in the middle of the vast, circular simulator room with her hands behind her back and her eyes closed. She’d picked out the specific simulation Ben would go through months ago. It’d start in a dense, dark forest, where he’d have to find his way to the correct location: a simple hut, where an ambush was waiting for him. While his fighting skills would be judged, she was looking more for how in tune with the Force Ben was. How it affected his decision making. Would he stick out the ambush, or run?

With a hiss, followed by the clank of the lock unhinging, the door slid open. Ben walked to the edge of the room and sat down. They’d trained in here many times before.

“Are you ready?” Brighid asked. She turned to look at Ben.

He stared back at her, resilient as always. Of course he was ready. He was born for this very reason.

 _Don’t hold back_ , whispered the masculine voice. While it used to repulse Brighid, she found herself becoming reliant on its instructions, and advice. _Let him show you what he can do_.

“Ready.”

With Ben’s acceptance, Brighid strode out of the room, and into the control box. From here she could watch, and adjust the simulation to fit her needs. She slid the pre-programmed disk into the slot, and blinked as the simple grey room transformed into a thick jungle. The fog from an earlier rainstorm settling along the muddy ground. The rush of a nearby river drowning out the hum of the generator.

Brighid leaned over the large control panel, and pressed the small red button next to the square microphone. It squeaked to life, and she watched as Ben jolted to a standing position. Brighid normally liked to start their sessions with a surprise attack, but she knew he would expect that so instead, she starting to speak.

“You objective today, Padawan Solo, is to locate a cabin the middle of these woods. Once there, you are to go inside and await further instructions.” Her voice echoed in both chambers. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master.” Ben replied.

“Good. You may begin.”

Ben started walking, pushing through the foliage, instead of igniting his saber to cut a path. Brighid smiled, he knew she was trying to keep him on edge. This wasn’t her normal simulation. She didn’t like to use forests.

“At least he’s moving in the right direction,” she mumbled.

On the circular screen to her right, she could watch Ben, in the form of a tiny blue dot, navigate his way through the forest. In the center of the screen there was a large red dot: the cabin. With a tap of her finger, she placed a pair of Ghost Spiders, named for both the color of their thick, white outer shells and the lethal poison of their sting, directly in Ben’s path. He should hear their gurgling hiss before he saw them.

Hear them he did. Ben stopped abruptly, his training boots squelching in the mud as he slid behind the thick tree to his left, peering over his shoulder to try and catch a glimpse of the beasts in front of him. They hadn’t noticed him yet. But, the longer he stayed there, the more likely they could sense him. Brighid’s right pointer finger tapped on the metal control panel. Would he stay, or flee?

He fled, moving East instead of North, towards the edge of the boundary. After a moment, Brighid erased the Ghost Spiders and sat down in the chair behind her. Next he’d have to battle the river. Would he cross it, or turn around, and look for a way around? This Trial was all about making decisions. There was no exact right or wrong choice, but rather, Brighid was more interested in how Ben reacted to each obstacle.

Ben turned around at the river. He leaned against a large tree trunk, mumbling to himself. He’d been in the simulation for almost an hour now, walking aimlessly in the thick jungle. Not once had he ignited his saber, nor attacked any of the foes Brighid set into the scene. This surprised Brighid. Normally Ben itched for a fight, but now, he seemed to be calculating the risks of his actions.

Brighid watched as Ben sat at the base of the tree. He closed his eyes, and the rise and fall of his chest slowed as he entered what Brighid assumed was a meditative state. He’d search for the cabin through the eyes of the Force now. Just like Brighid taught him. Who knew he actually listened so intently in his training.

After several minutes of meditation a smile cracked the severe line of Ben’s lips. He found it. It took him only another 5 minutes to reach the cabin. It’s walls creaked as he swung the door open, tentatively peeking in, before setting his foot through the doorway.

When nothing happened, Ben took a turn around the large wooden cabin. It had only one room, with a stove and what he assumed would be a very uncomfortable bed. A single quilted blanket lay on top of said bed, covered in a thick layer of dust. Cobwebs spread across each corner, and the floorboards squeaked with each shift of Ben’s weight.

Brighid let him grow anxious before acting. She secretly, or not so secretly, loved to watch him tick. That’s always when the real fun began.

With her right hand she selected the group of hunters to send into the simulation; a combination of one armor-clad mandalorian, the clone of the famous IG-88 droid bounty hunter, and a pair of Trandoshans. An involuntary shiver wracked down her spine when the Mandalorian came into view. The shape of their helmet and the blank, soulless stare bringing back memories from her last mission. But, Ben needed to face them. He needed to be prepared.

The group split as soon as their boots materialized on the muddy jungle floor. The mandalorian slunk into the shadows, and Brighid had to watch the red dot on her locator screen to keep track of them. The Trandoshans climbed up, into the trees, and the IG-88 made straight for the cabin, it’s long gun cocked and ready to go.

Ben felt the ambush before the first shot ricocheted off the wall right beside his head. His saber whooshing to life, and the blue light showcased the dust particles floating in the air of the cabin. Beams of red light shot into the cabin. The IG-88 stepped out of his cover, and fired at Ben with all he had. Ben easily blocked blast after blast, as it was only one gun. That was nothing.

Then the Trandoshan’s appeared. Their yells forced Ben further into the cabin, and he grappled with the first one, his saber easily cutting through it’s short blaster. Though the slime on it’s scales made it difficult for him to latch onto. The Trandoshan slammed a wooden chair on Ben’s shoulder. His scream froze the hairs on Brighid’s arms.

Ben scrambled backwards as the second Trandoshan broke through the ceiling of the cabin. It landed on it’s feet and immediately began firing. The blue saber moving frantically through the dust filled air. A stray shot hit his shoulder, burning a hole in his tunic. The blasts from the simulations were meant to be as real as possible. The only difference from a real blast was that in a simulation it took quite a few to knock you unconscious.

Just as the three hunters rounded on Ben, a blast of pure energy sent them through the walls of the cabin, and into the jungle. The first Trandoshan hit a large round tree-trunk, head first, and as it fell unconscious, flickered and disappeared from the simulation. Ben stalked out of the cabin as the other two simulations struggled to their feet. Each step he took radiated power, and control.

Brighid smiled.

“There’s the Ben Solo I know.”

The IG-88 immediately began firing as Ben stomped towards it. He didn’t even use his saber this time. Ben’s left hand jutted into the air, and as his fingers curled inwards the IG-88’s body let out a loud squelch as it’s body scrunched under the influence of the Force. Ben broke it in half, wires dangling from the upper portion, sparking and spinning. The IG-88 blinked and disappeared.

The Trandoshan hopped to it’s feet, and pulled a plasma blade out of the holster on it’s back. It let out a frenzied battle cry as it charged towards Ben. The two blades collided, and the thin eyes of the Trandoshan widened as it realized the mistake it made: The Jedi was much better with a blade than it was.

In an arcing stroke, Ben sliced through the Trandoshan. The Trandoshan let out a gargled scream before it’s form flashed, twice, and flickered into nothing. Only Ben’s blade left in the spot it once stood in.

“That’s all you got?” Ben called out. He pressed the switch on his lightsaber, and the blue blade shrunk back into the hilt.

Just as the blade disappeared a blue beam slammed into Ben’s chest. The impact of which sent his tall form flying back into the cabin, blasting open another hole in its vulnerable wall. The Mandalorian bounty hunter flew out from the top of the trees, using it’s jetpack, and landed softly on the roof of the cabin. The barrel of it’s gun pointed inside the large hole the second Trandoshan made when it jumped through the roof. 

The Mandalorian continued to shoot into the cabin. Brighid heard the shots ricochet off of something, but couldn’t see what. It had to be Ben. His life signs still showed he was conscious. She bet he was a bit banged up though. He’d taken two shots from the Trandoshans, and who knows how many from the Mandalorian. It was only a matter of time before his body would succumb.

Just as she gave up on him, Ben appeared on the roof, parallel from the Mandalorian. It jumped back, in surprise, and in that split second Ben threw his saber, and like a boomerang it flew through the air, cutting off the Mandalorians’ hand that held the blaster. It yelped, and pulled out another blaster, with its left hand and fired. The first blast hit Ben directly in the chest. Brighid could see the circular singe it created, but Ben did not move.

With his left hand Ben caught his saber, then looked down at the singe mark, and back up at the Mandalorian. His eyebrows furrowed, and Brighid laughed. He was pouting. The Mandalorian fired again, but this time the red blast only made it halfway to Ben before it froze. The red spot morphing into a streak.

She laughed again. Of course _now_ he could freeze the blasts. She didn’t even bother watching Ben knock out the Mandalorian. It disappeared seconds later, but she was already turning off all the different aspects of the simulation, and collecting her things. She put on her cloak before moving back into the chamber.

Ben stood in the middle of the chamber, with a shit-eating grin on his face. Where there used to be mud, from the simulation, there was only pale skin. The dark singe marks stood out against his dark tunic.

“Did I do good?” He asked jokingly.

“Yeah, yeah,” she laughed. “You did good.”

“Good.”

Ben smiled again, this time, little creases bent at the corners of his mouth, and Brighid swore the sun broke through the stones and lit up his entire face.


	18. Chapter 18

Ever since Ben’s “little accident,” over two weeks ago, Luke started sitting with Ben during their normally scheduled meditation hours; which left Brighid with a free afternoon. In the past, she would have jumped for joy, but she’d grown so used to spending all of her time with Ben-- to the point that it felt too quiet in her room without him. The Younglings and Padawans all had practice at this time too. She was truly alone. She didn’t have to stay in her room, but she also didn’t want to leave it.

Brighid sat cross legged on a soft, muted, yellow mat in the middle of her room. The door in front of her securely closed. The voices from outside vanishing as she delved deeper into the core of the Temple. She could hear the water rushing through the pipes hidden in the walls that surrounded her; the sound pounding in her ears as she searched for Jeryn and Kemah. Luke said they didn’t need her help, but--

 _Didn’t want it_ , the masculine-voice corrected. _They never will_.

“Shhhh,” Brighid soothed, spreading her hands out infront of her, and folding her body over her contorted legs. The muscles of her inner thighs screamed, and drowned out the voice. It got lost in the ache of her body.

Finding someone is much easier than an object. If it is alive, Brighid could find it. Though, it is not easy. To find something she first listened for the sounds all livings things make, and then had to know what the object or person she searched for looked like. She knew Kemah and Jeryn like they were her siblings; could distinguish their voices from a crowd of thousands, and knew the pump of each Jedi’s heart as well as her own, as the sounds that hearts make are as diverse as the Universe is wide. Kemah’s fluttered like an excited hummingbird, while Jeryn’s pumped slowly, and calmly, as if the Jedi could control the very flow of his body.

She knew they should be on Corsucant. There were only three Resistance-friendly sectors there, all of them entrenched below the surface, where the sun rarely shined. She didn’t even need to look at a map to see where Coruscant was in relation to Dornea. All she had to do was close her eyes, and BAM there it was, situated nearly in the center of the Core Worlds Sector of the Galaxy.

They were too far away. That had to be it. She’d never attempted to scan that far before. Brighid groaned, slowly raised her hand it into the air, and within seconds her communicator hit her palm. She wrapped her fingers around the device and stood, wobbling as the blood rushed back into her calves. Why did she have to be so weak? Why couldn’t she find them? They were _only_ half way across the Galaxy. Didn’t the Force work there too?

Brighid strolled out of her living quarters. The Temple hallways wound in front of her like a maze, as she darted in and out of the living area, through the courtyard, and out the front entrance. Her eyes darting over the two statues that stood watch: The Huntress and The Mystic. Two of the first five Jedi. Some of the Jedi-- _Medina_ \-- thought that incorporating the first five could be a bad omen for the Order, as they were also the first to fall. Brighid didn’t see it that way. While all five did at one point embrace the darker aspects of the Force, almost all of them returned to the light. Their presence in the Temple showcased the dichotomy of mortal life.

As Brighid made her way out of the Temple, the sonic boom of a ship entering the atmosphere shook the earth beneath her feet. She wobbled for a moment, and watched as a large black dot broke through the clouds, headed towards the newly built, and fully functional, landing-port at the edge of the Island. The Generals had arrived. 

She made it to the port just as the gang-plank cascaded down the middle of the ship. It landed with a soft _thunk_ against the grey gravel, and seconds after it touched down a pair of boots appeared at the space where the ship and gang-plank broke a part.

Leia Organa’s body appeared half a beat later. She was dressed in a loose fitting grey dress, with dark black boots and if Brighid squinted hard enough she could _just_ make out a halo around the General’s head. A group of Resistance soldiers flanked her as they sped across the port to Brighid. Who stood with her arms crossed tightly against her chest, trying with all her might not to sneer. 

“Hello, Brighid.” Leia greeted.

“Hello, General Organa.” Brighid grunted.

Leia frowned. Apparently she’d forgotten about how she’d used Brighid on the day of her mother’s funeral. What Leia also didn’t know was that Brighid held grudges for as long as Gungans can hold their breath underwater: A long time, but not too long, because eventually even Brighid forgets what made her mad in the first place.

“Where’s General Solo?”

“Oh, we decided to take separate ships,” Leia explained. She looked up to the sky, and not a second later the Millennium Falcon burst through the clouds. Leia smiled. “Seems like that head start he took didn’t help too much. Still thinks that bucket of bolts is worth something. He refuses to get rid of it.”

“It’s an important ship,” Brighid argued. Though they both flinched as it screeched to a halt on the landing-pad. The landing brakes creating billowing clouds of smoke, and the gangplank screeched as it lowered to the ground. “It could use a bit of oil.”

“It needs a lot more than that,” Leia grumbled.

Brighid cracked a smile, and a small part of her annoyance with the General dissipated. Leia saw the smile and a mirror image burst across her own face. She bumped her shoulder against Brighid’s. Perhaps their relationship wasn’t doomed.

“I am sorry about forcing you into that meeting, but I had no other choice. Drastic times sometimes call for drastic measures.”

“Yeah, but--”

“I know, it’s all just excuses, and I don’t blame you if you never forgive me. But know that I am deeply sorry for using you. You told me back on Takodana that you don’t like to be used, and I should have listened, but I didn’t. Even I can’t be perfect.”

“That’s true,” Brighid mumbled, avoiding Leia’s intense gaze.

“How did you get here so fast?” Han demanded as he stomped to their spot on the landing pad. His chest heaved with each breath he took, and Chewbacca let loose a small roar; probably demanding to know the same answer.

Leia threw a side-eyed glance at Brighid before turning to address her husband. She used the same voice that she did in the meeting.

“I took the ship that doesn’t break down every time you try to use the hyperdrive.”

“It doesn’t breakdown… _Every Time_ ,” Han paused. “Just one time!”

“Once is enough!”

Han turned towards Brighid, his mouth opening to speak, but Leia smacked him in the upper arm and he shut it. While Han grumbled loudly to Chewie about how Leia was abusing him, Leia pulled Brighid towards her and started moving towards the Temple.

“So, Brighid, tell us why you so desperately needed us to come here,” Leia implored.

“Is Ben in trouble?” Han asked. “Because if so, I’d just like to say that I was against training him from the beginning.”

“You were not,” Leia argued.

“I didn’t say it, but I definitely thought it.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Yeah, well-”

“Actually, I called you here to be a part of his Trial,” Brighid interjected. It seemed like their tiny-argument would last forever if given the chance to fester. She didn’t have that kind of time. Luke would be preparing Ben now. They’d gotten him a new pair of robes just for this occasion.

“He’s staring his Trial?” Leia asked.

“Finishing it, actually.” Brighid answered. “There’s just one more barrier for him to overcome.”

“And that is?” Han chimed in.

“You two.”

“What--?”

“Ben’s greatest disadvantage is his family. He’s been stunted by both of your actions, and the resentment he feels towards both of you is clouding his path. He needs to overcome his feelings towards you before he can complete his training.”

The two generals went quiet. Brighid had to assume this was a first by the way the resistance guards looked at each other wearily. But, it was true. Brighid knew from the beginning that Ben’s greatest challenge would be forgiving, and moving past the actions of his parents. Brighid did the same thing. Luke had her battle her feelings towards her father head on as part of her training. She learned to accept the past, and handle the way she felt about it. Though, to be honest, her anger towards her father had not gone away, it just lessened and continued to do so with each passing day.

“What do we need to do?” Leia muttered. She grasped Han’s hand, and pulled him to a stop outside the entrance to the Temple.

“Let him talk, and listen to what he has to say. When he’s done, you’ll know.”

“That’s it? Do we get to say anything back?” Han asked.

“No. You sit, and listen. That’s it.” Brighid commanded. “Your role in his life is diminishing, and you both need to accept that. After Ben is charged as a full-fledged Jedi Knight he will be sent on missions and begin his new life, here, with his new family.”

“Right,” Han grumbled. He locked eyes with Leia and they shared a sad look. After a moment, he turned back to Brighid and sighed. “Whatever he needs, we’ll do it.”

“Thank you,” Brighid said as she pushed open the entrance to the Temple.

She led them down the winding halls, and up the stairs to a small conference room. They mainly used this for one-on-one sessions with Padawans and Younglings, but there was enough space for at least 6 people to stand comfortably, and 4 to sit. The Resistance guards stayed outside of the Temple. They technically had not been invited, so they could not come in. Chewbacca only got to enter because of his status with the Jedi Order as a “friend and ally to the Jedi ways”.

Once they were all settled, Brighid left, to go get Ben. She found him with Luke in the council chambers. When she entered the door both Jedi turned and smiled at her. A warm spot spread in Brighid’s chest as she gazed at her two friends: her Master and her Padawan. She let out a contented sigh and moved into the room.

“Are you ready?” She asked Ben.

He looked to Luke, who nodded solemnly in his direction, and then turned back to Brighid with a serious expression on his face. Yes, of course he was ready.

“Do you want to come, Luke?”

“No,” Luke shook his head. “This is a journey you started together, and you should finish it together. You don’t need me.”

Tears welled in Brighid’s eyes as she and Ben walked towards the door. She kept her gaze on Luke for as long as she could. This was his way of telling her she was no longer anyone's apprentice. Brighid was a Jedi Knight who did not need her Master there anymore to guide her way. She could do anything.

“Where to?“ Ben asked as soon as they were alone.

“Just down the hall.”

When Brighid didn’t move, Ben placed his hand on her shoulder, and slowly pulled her into a long embrace. She was glad this day had finally come, but a small part of her was sad that Ben would no longer be forced to hang out with her. Would he still want to be friends?

“Never thought this day would come, huh?” Ben jested.

“I always knew you could do this, Ben. I may have doubted you a few times, but deep down I always knew we would end up here.”

“How?”

“I believed in you.”

Silence.

“Why?”

“Because I could tell you believed in me,” she admitted, and shrugged her shoulders, pointedly ignoring looking into Ben's eyes as she did.

Ben dropped his gaze from Brighid’s face, a bright red blush working its way up his neck. Brighid laughed. Of course they’d get sappy now. What better time than right before the last Trial. After this, Ben didn’t have to listen to everything Brighid told him to do, though he rarely did anyway. He was free, and that fact loosened Brighid’s tongue.

“Come on, let’s get this over with, yeah?” Brighid implored.

“Yeah.”

They walked down the hallway in silence. Brighid tried to formulate the best way to explain to Ben what was waiting for him inside the conference room, but couldn’t come up with anything better than:

“This is where I leave you.”

“W-What?” Ben stuttered.

“A Jedi is never alone, the Force is always there to guide you, but for this last Trial, you must be on your own.”

“Why?”

“You can’t always expect Luke, Ba’er or I to be with you on a mission. You have to learn to adapt to stressful situations on your own,” Brighid explained.

“Stressful situations? The Universe is punishing me,” he whined.

“The Universe doesn’t care, Ben.” Brighid nudged his shoulder with hers. “You’ve got to be on your own for this. It’s the last step. Pass this and you’ll walk out of here a Jedi Knight.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s get this over with.” He grumbled. “I’m guessing you won’t tell me what’s on the other side of the door?”

“It’s against the rules.”

“Not even for me?” He batted his eyes as he spoke, trying to tempt Brighid with his wiles.

She scoffed.

“You overestimate how much you matter to me, Ben Solo.”

Ben didn’t say anything for a moment, and the smirk on Brighid’s lips faltered into a frown. Had she said something wrong?

“Do I? If I remember correctly, you _care_ about me.” Ben took a step closer to her. What was he doing?

“Not enough.”

Brighid took a step back. 

“Really?”

Brighid made to leave, but before she could flee, Ben grasped her upper arm. Her eyes flickered between his face and the floor. This wasn’t ever supposed to happen. She didn’t want this to happen. What was happening? Ben touched her crimson cheek with the pad of his pointer finger. It barely ghosted over her skin, but it switched something inside of her, and her eyes welled with fresh tears. She quickly moved to swipe them away, and a great laugh bubbled in her stomach, and out of her thin pink lips.

“It’s enough,” he said. “Anything’s enough.”

Brighid shook her head, her hair brushing across Ben’s chest. What did that mean? _No_ , this couldn’t happen, not now, not ever.

“May the Force be with you, Ben” she said, as if they would never see eachother again, but The Mother knew what she really meant, as did Ben.

“And you, Brighid.”

She gave him one last smile, and touched the edge of his new black cloak, before spinning and walking out of the room. He looked the part, with his dark robes, and tied back hair.A Jedi through and through.

Everything was up to Ben now. Everything would change once he came to terms with the challenge sitting in the room on the other side of that door.

Brighid exited the Temple, and looked up into the sky, closing her eyes as she did. The thin rays from the sun raining down on her crimson cheeks. Everything would change. The only problem was the world was not ready for change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the penultimate chapter! Thanks for reading so far, and I hope you enjoy the next two chapters. <3

Two hours later Ben emerged from the room. Luke met him at the door, and together they walked back to Ben’s room in silence. Brighid would not see Ben for another four hours. He was to sit in his room and meditate until sunset; at that time he would walk out of the room, and into the council chambers to have his Padawan braid severed and to be declared by all Masters as a Jedi Knight.

She should have known something was wrong as soon as Ben entered the chambers. The four hours had gone by so quickly for her, but Ben looked even more tired than before. As if he hadn’t slept in weeks, but she knew he had. Brighid didn’t second guess it. She just smiled at him as usual and congratulated him after cutting off his braid with his blue saber. He’d smiled back, a twinkle in his eyes as he stared down at her. Maybe that’s why she didn’t question anything: the twinkle.

After the ceremony the Masters and Han talked together, in a circle, Ba'er communicating through hologram, leaving the two young Jedi’s to their own devices. Ben pulled Brighid further away from the group and out of the council chambers. He stopped at the edge of the railing, fidgeting with the small braid in his hand.

“Would you… I mean do you, or, eh-- Yeah, would you like to come on a walk with me?”

“A walk?”

“Yeah. I want to look at the stars.”

That should have been the second red flag: Ben never went on walks.

“Okay, sure, why not?”

“Great, let’s go.”

As soon as they stepped out of the Temple she felt it. The simmering anger she’d harbored for months suddenly burst inside of her, like an aneurysm. It spread through her body like acid devouring and corrupting each molecule in her system. Ben caught her as her legs gave out. He pulled her into his arms and pressed a wet kiss onto the crest of her head.

“He called for us,” Ben whispered. “Our time has come.”

“W-what are you talking about?” Brighid groaned. “Put me down!” She attempted to claw herself out of Ben’s grasp, but he just pulled her tighter against his chest, walking further away from the Temple.

That’s when she heard it, the voice.

 _“Welcome, my child_.” It said. But, instead of echoing inside her head, the voice came from ten feet in front of them. Master Faolan stood with his hands behind his back, a gleam of what Brighid assumed was pure joy pulling at his tanned skin. Wasn’t he in the chamber with the others? How did he get here?

“Faolan?” Brighid choked out. That voice did not belong to him-- it sounded too old, almost ancient.

 _“I need something from you,”_ Faolan continued, and motioned for Ben to bring Brighid closer. “ _You will feel pain-- use it.”_

Faolan pressed the palm of his hand against Brighid’s forehead, and at first she felt nothing, then a black hot bundle of fire erupted in her nerves and the world went dark. When she awoke, Brighid struggled to control her feelings. She did not feel like herself. Something was wrong. What did Faolan do to her? The woman that awoke was not Brighid. She was all the pain and anger Brighid had ever felt come to life. She was all powerful. She was vengeance.

Brighid flinched at the cool touch of Ben’s fingertips against her cheek. He still cradled her to his chest. His long, black hair covering the sharp line of his nose and cheeks. When she startled, Ben raised his gaze to Faolan. Who stood next to him, staring down at the two Jedi.

“ _In my dreams I saw this moment, your rebirth,”_  Faolan explained. He squatted beside Ben, placing a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “ _I_ _t’s taken much more than the Supreme Leader said. You’ve been a tough nut to crack, Brighid. At first he thought the death of your fellow Jedi Knights would be enough. Then we assumed the unexpected death of your mother would do the trick, but no. Nothing.”_ Faolan sighed.

Faolan reached for Brighid, but she flinched away from him. They’d killed her mother, for what, _to see if she would fall_? Her eyes narrowed as she watched his every move, like a trapped sand-cat, just waiting to latch her claws into something-- someone-- him.

 _“Tutt-tutt, Little Jedi, it seems even this was not enough. A pity really, but we don’t have time to wait for you.”_ He looked to Ben _. “We’ve waited long enough. If she will not comply, we must move along.”_

“The Supreme Leader specifically--”

 _“The Supreme Leader has entrusted me with the power to command,”_ Faolan growled. _“You will follow my orders, Solo.”_

“Yes...Master,” Ben growled.

Brighid tried to open her mouth, but found the airflow to her lungs restricted, as if their was an invisible hand wrapped around her throat, winding tighter with each forced breath. She grappled for her throat, clawing at the skin, but nothing worked. She was going to die. With a frenzied look in her eyes she glanced up at Ben; who stared down at her with the blankest expression.

As the oxygen left her body, the last thought in her head repeated like a mantra: _I want my mum_.

A bright light shot across the field, bounding in streams like a field of electricity, and barreled into Faolan. He hit the ground, over 100 feet away with a harsh thud. As soon as his presence left them, the invisible hand around Brighid’s throat disappeared and she coughed and wheezed as air returned to her lungs. Ben stood in front of Brighid, with his left hand in the air. It shook as he lowered it and slowly turned back around to face her, squatting, and pulling her shaking body into his arms.

“Get...Lu-Luke” she gasped, pulling on the front of Ben’s tunic.

He stared down at her like a lost boy. His eyes wide, and fear radiated off of him like the stench of a dying man.

“No,” Ben said.

“N-no?”

“He’ll stop us. I can’t allow anything to stop us.”

“Stop who, Ben?” she demanded. “Why are you doing this? This-this isn't you!”

“You don’t really know me--”

“Oh, shut up! I do know you... I’ve spent every-freaking-day with you for the past year. I-I don’t know you? You don’t know you!”

When Ben didn’t speak, Brighid pushed herself out of his grasp. She rolled onto her knees in the grass, and her legs wavered as she slowly stood. If he wouldn’t listen to her, she’d have to force him. With a flick of her wrist she secured Ben’s lightsaber in her right hand, and ignited it.

“Tell me what’s happening... _now_.”

“Or what?” Ben growled.

He stood from the ground and held out his left hand. The saber jostled in against her palm, like a bell, but did not leave it. Ben frowned.

“You’ll kill me?” He continued.

Brighid did not waver, she brought the blue blade as close to Ben’s neck as she could without seriously injuring him, and Ben howled as the saber burned into the thin skin that connected his neck to his shoulder. 

“Yes. If you continue down this path, Ben, I will kill you.”

Whatever Faolan did to her, it broke some fundamental piece of her soul. She did not care if Ben lived or died. She would protect Luke and the others until the end.

Ben’s adam’s apple jolted beneath his skin. Brighid watched as it bounced up and down, up and down.

“Good, you’re scared,” she purred. “Now tell me, who is this Supreme Leader, and what has he done to Faolan, and you?”

The pupils in Ben’s dark eyes enlarged at the mention of the Supreme Leader. If he had been a dog Brighid swore he would had salivated.

“He has freed us.”

“From what?”

“The weakness of the Jedi.”

“Jedi are not weak, Ben, you know that.”

Ben laughed. The sound shot down Brighid’s spine like a shot of electricity. Her fingers around Ben’s saber tightened and she inched the blade even closer to his neck. Ben stopped laughing.

“He wants you to join us. You were his first pick, after Faolan, of course. He’s come to you in dreams; shown you your true future. He used me to get to you, and then he saw what you made me--”

The dreams? Didn’t he mean nightmares? Nothing that’d she’d dreamt in the past year excited her, she feared it. She didn’t want this. _How dare he try to trick her._ _How dare this Supreme Leader try to use her._ Didn’t he know who she was, what she was capable of?

“I trained you to become a Jedi, not-not whatever twisted perversion you want to be now.”

“Is it twisted?” Ben cooed. “You’ve had the same thoughts as I. I saw the way you wanted to kill me back on Takodana. You lust after power the same as I. We could rule--”

“Shut up!” Brighid shouted. “Shut up. I’m no fool, Ben Solo, and neither are you. We are going back inside the Temple, and Luke and I are going to help you. We can fix this-- you.”

“I don’t want to be fixed!” Ben howled. He pressed his neck closer to the blade, and Brighid jumped back.

Her hand shook as Ben glowered at her, his chest rising and falling with the rapid beat of his unsteady heart. She nearly cried as she saw the anger contort his handsome face. The sharpness of his eyes tearing at her. She couldn’t kill him. Faolan didn’t change anything. She couldn’t do it.

“See, _you are weak_. Even with the unlocking of your humanity you still choose the light. How pitiful,” Ben spat. “And to think I could have loved you.”

“I can help you,” Brighid pleaded. “Let me help you, Ben, _please_. Don’t make me do this.”

“One of us is going to die Brighid. Out of respect for all you have given me, I will let you choose.”

“Ben--”

“Choose,” he barked.

Before she could make any sort of movement, Brighid flew backwards, the air pushed from her lungs as her head collided with the grass. She struggled for breath, clawing at her chest as Faolan limped back towards them. He raised his right hand and the saber in her hand shuttered back into the hilt. The blue light fading from the night.

_“You had your chance. Now, you will die.”_

“I’d rather die than follow you,” she spat, a sprinkle of blood mixed with her spittle.

Faolan ignited his saber. It glowed a deep amber, and Brighid’s heart stopped. She’d never seen that color before, not in real life. Tears sprung to her lids, as she grappled for Ben’s saber. Why had she left hers in her room? How could she be so careless? They were never safe, not even here. Where was Luke? Could he not sense what was happening outside of his Temple? She _needed_ him. Where was he?

 _“This will be quick,”_ Faolan promised.

Would it be quick? Was death ever truly quick? Brighid shakily made it to her feet, her head spinning as she lifted Ben’s saber. The blue blade whooshing out of the hilt. She almost laughed at how poetic her death would be: at the hands of the Sith, with the blade of Darth Vader in her hand. She hoped Master Yoda was rolling in his grave.

 _“Foolish girl_ ,” Faolan chided as he stopped in front of her. _“Do you really believe you are a match for me?”_

A small smile twisted Brighid’s lips. Of course he would call her foolish. Of course. With a war-cry like a banshee Brighid lunged towards Faolan. Sweat dripped down her forehead, and onto her chapped lips. The heat from their sabers nearly suffocating her in their dance-like battle.

She could see nothing but the burning red blade before her. Hear nothing but Faolan’s jagged breaths. Smell nothing but her own fear mixed with Faolan’s sweet scent. How did her life come to this? Why did her mother let her leave, all those years ago? Why couldn’t she see the horrors Brighid would face because of that one decision? 

This was it: The final test. Faolan and Brighid met each other with push and pull of the Force. Lightning cracked overhead and shined light on their strange battle: A short girl spinning in circles around the tall, lean Faolan. His eyes shining in the dim light of the moons like molten lava. Brighid watched as the cockiness in Faolan’s eyes dwindled with each passing second. Her breath steadied, oxygen flowing in through her mouth and out through her nose, like a bull. This was it.

She trusted the Force. It flowed through her like absinthe, pounding in her ears, and drowning out Faolan’s frenzied curses. She heard her mother’s voice, calmly talk her through each step. “You can do it,” Diana said. “You are so brave. Finish this.”

He wasn’t strong enough. She understood now, could see it play out in her mind. His anger didn’t fuel him, it blinded him. _What a fool_. He faltered once, twice, and then it was over. The dull red saber flew out of his hand, and with a clean shove she plunged her blade straight through his heart; breaking through blood vessels, skin, and bone like water through rock.

“Brighid, NO!”

Brighid turned as Faolan’s body slumped onto the grass, his head falling over his body, positioned as if he was praying to a deity, or being berated by a Lord. She watched as Luke, and the others ran towards her. Her hands trembled as the jolting sound of a squadron of ships broke through the atmosphere; black ships, with sleek designs: The First Order. They were here.

She swiveled back to where she’d last seen Ben, but he was gone. Where did he go? She had to find him! Brighid dropped to her knees, and Ben’s saber rolled out of her hand. She felt Luke wrap his arms around her, and pick her up. They were running. Her head jostled with each step, and yet she could not take her eyes off Faolan’s dead body. She killed him. Oh, stars, she killed him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, here it is: The Final Chapter. I just want to thank everyone that's left kudos/commented/read this fic. It took me awhile to finish, and it's the first story I've actually completed, so I'm quite proud of it. So, thank you for sticking through to the end, and enjoy!

**Previously:**  


_She swiveled back to where she’d last seen Ben, but he was gone. Where did he go? She had to find him! Brighid dropped to her knees, and Ben’s saber rolled out of her hand. She felt Luke wrap his arms around her, and pick her up. They were running. Her head jostled with each step, and yet she could not take her eyes off Faolan’s dead body. She killed him. Oh, stars, she killed him._

* * *

 

They all entered into the Council Chambers. Master Panchorn, Master Medina, Leia, Han, and Chewbacca formed a circle around Luke and Brighid; waiting for Luke’s command. 

“Luke?” Leia implored. “What do you need us to do?”

“We have to evacuate the Younglings and Padawans first,” Luke ordered. “Then we worry about the First Order.”

He sent Leia and Han to the dormitory, with Chewbacca right behind them. Leia’s resistance guards had already rushed off to the landing port. Hopefully they would make it before the First Order landed. If not, they would all be trapped. Panchorn left to reinforce them, and Medina ran off to send word to the Dorean Navy. They would come to their aide. 

Luke ran out of the room, glancing back at Brighid as he did. Brighid startled to a seated position and yelled after him, but it was too late-- he was gone. She was alone. She would die alone. Brighid howled, her cry rising to the portrait of The Mother. 

“Bri,” Diana’s voice returned.

Out of the corner of Brighid’s eye she saw the ghostly form of her mother flicker into reality. She floated over to Brighid and pressed her blue hand onto her daughter's forehead, but touched nothing. All Brighid felt was the cold. 

“You have to get up, love,” Diana whispered. “Get up, and fight.”

The door burst back open and Diana disappeared. Brighid craned her neck, struggling to find her mother and nearly cried when she couldn’t. Had she really been here? 

“They’re gone!” Luke cried. He ran over to Brighid and picked her up again. 

“W-who?” 

“The younglings, the Padawans... All of them,” Luke panted. 

“What?”

“They’ve taken them.”

“Who, Luke? Who took them?

Luke stopped at the staircase, and he set Brighid back on her feet, turning her to face him, his metal hand digging into her shoulder. She flinched, but he did not release his grip.

“Brighid, I need you to run. Run like you never have before. Find Han and Leia, they will take care of you.”

“What about you, Luke?”

“I have to do something.”

“Luke--”

“No. This is all my fault. I have to stop this.” Luke shook his head. “But I cannot lose you. Don’t make me lose you, Brighid. I-I can’t--” His voice cracked and Luke ran off down the stairs, leaving Brighid. 

“Luke!” She screamed. “Luke!” 

When he did not return, Brighid struggled down the first flight of stairs, and as she reached the second she’d regained most of the feeling in her body. Though, every few seconds the image of her stabbing a blade through Faolan’s chest replayed in her mind. 

So, that’s where she went: to Faolan’s body. She reached his corpse, and bugs were already crawling over his cold skin. The rain splattering mud over the bugs. Brighid picked up both Faolan’s and Ben’s sabers, and strapped them to her side. There was no time to go back for her own. She’d forgotten about them on her way out. These would have to do. 

In the distance she heard the staccato sound of blaster fire, and ran towards it. At the top of the hill she could see flames-- at the landing pad. Rain pelted down on her as she ran, the ground turning to mud. Her thin black clothing stuck to her skin, but, that did not stop her. She was used to this. This was her home, and she would protect it until her dying breath. Even if that meant killing Ben.

She couldn’t do it before. She’d never killed someone she cared for, before Faolan. But now, she knew she could do it. It was easier than she thought: killing; and some twisted part of her enjoyed it; watching the life drain from a being’s eyes, and their last frenzied attempt to stay alive. She could still feel the power of plunging the blade through Faolan’s thin skin. Yes, she could do it again. 

At the landing pad she found the resistance guards and members of the First Order, dressed in all black-- nearly blending into the night-- exchanging fire. Without a glance in either direction, Brighid stepped into the fray, igniting the amber saber. The First Order stopped firing, and the resistance were too surprised to continue attacking. Everything stopped, and then a metallic voice rang out:

“What is your order, Lord Ren?”

Brighid spun to face the First Order troops. A squadron dressed head-to-toe in black. Her left eyebrow rose and she grimaced. Lord Ren?

“What is you order?” it repeated.

Then it clicked. Brighid looked down at her saber. They must have thought she’d chosen to join them, but where was Ben? Wouldn’t he have told them of her treachery? Though, was it really treachery? She did murder Master Faolan. Had she not fallen just a little bit closer to the darkness?

“Stand down.” She ordered. 

The black and silver helmet-covered faces turned towards each other, and then re sheathed their weapons. They even bowed their heads as Brighid moved closer. She gripped tighter on her saber as she walked; wanting nothing more than to kill every last one of the soldiers bowed before her.

“Where are the Younglings?” She demanded. “Where are they?!”

A single soldier stepped forward, their head still bowed. Brighid couldn’t tell if it was out of respect or fear. 

“We’ve done as the Supreme Leader commanded, Lord Ren.”

Brighid held up the hand that was not holding the saber, and with the Force, manipulated the soldiers body. They flew towards her in a blast of fury, their neck fitted perfectly in her curved palm. Brighid tightened her grip around their neck, her fingers dug into the skin; her nails nearly popping through to the veins that pulse beneath them.

“Where are they?” Brighid hissed.

She felt the soldier gulp, before speaking-- or at least trying to. Brighid had to release the grip around their neck before they could get out more than a few gasps and gurgles.

“T-the-ey...arrre de-ad, Ma--’am,” the soldier coughed out.

Brighid bit her tongue to keep from screaming. She looked into the mask of the soldier, trying to find it’s face. Wanting to see the fear in their eyes, so she could feel something other than the pure rage pounding in her head. 

“Dead?” She growled.

The soldier nodded their head, and Brighid threw them against the ship to their right. The body slammed into the metal, leaving a small dent from where their head connected with the hull. They did not stand back up. Brighid inspected the body, and found the helmet caved in when it hit the hull. They were probably dead. 

Brighid whipped her head back to the other soldiers, who stood by and watched the chaos surrounding their presumed leader, and strode towards them. That’s when the Resistance gained courage and attacked. The first blast slammed into Brighid’s back. She fell forward, face-first into the mud and slowly, as she was yanked back towards the First Order ships, she felt the anger take over.  _ How dare they shoot her. Didn’t they know she was on their side? How dare they harm her. _

The First Order soldiers fired back, and the chaos ensued. The soldier closest to her dragged Brighid into the ship. They tore through the back of her soaked clothing and Brighid nearly screamed when they poured some sort of alcohol into her wound. She could feel her flesh festering, and the stench of it burning filled the ship. 

“Brighid?” A distorted voice muttered.

Brighid lifted her sweat and mud covered face to see a figure, wearing a silver mask, with a black covering, staring down at her. His outfit matched the others and when he entered the foyer of the ship, the other First Order soldier, the one attending to her wounds, froze. 

“What?” She gasped.

They reached up to their helmet, sliding their gloved fingers underneath it’s casing, and with a hiss, the helmet detached from the black cowl around their neck. Ben’s face appeared, his hair pulled back into a slick ponytail, and the skin around his face newly shaved. As he moved towards her his eyes creased with what she assumed was worry. 

“Needed an outfit change?” Brighid hissed. Why should he care about her? He wanted her dead... didn’t he? “Couldn’t start your new life--”

The soldier poured more alcohol into her wound, and Brighid screamed. It felt like her skin was trying to peel itself off of her body. All thought of the betrayal she felt towards Ben forgotten, overrun by the pain. 

Ben squatted next to her, and motioned for the soldier to continue. The only sound in the room was Brighid’s gasps and moans as the soldier sutured her skin. She tried not to let her gaze leave Ben’s, but when she felt the tears welling in her bloodshot eyes she couldn't help but look away-- Still afraid of letting him see her weakness. 

As soon as she was wrapped, Ben dismissed the soldier with the shake of his head. They heard the blaster-fire from outside, and then, as the door slammed closed behind the soldier, only silence. Brighid tried to move, but found her back to be completely numb. She drug up enough energy to crawl into a seated position beside Ben, and closer to the door. She’d need to leave soon, preferably before Ben killed her.

“What happened?” He asked.

Brighid spun towards him, fire in her eyes. 

“What happened?” She repeated, her voice an octave higher than normal. “Are you seriously asking me that?!” When Ben didn’t reply, she continued. “Just let me leave, and I’ll let you live, for now.”

“Why would I let you leave?” Ben asked, tilting his head. “We need you--”

“You  _ need _ to let me go.”

“Our mission will have been a failure without you. The Supreme Leader--”

“I don’t care what your Supreme Leader wants, but  _ I _ want to leave, and you’re going to let me.”

“Why? Why should I let you go? I want to you to stay-- stay here  _ with me _ !” Ben grasped her arms, and Brighid was too weak to shake him off. “We can save the Galaxy, Brighid. We only have to finish what they started.”

“Who? Vader? _The Emperor_? I’ve dedicated the majority of my life to righting their wrongs, Ben. Why would I want to join your little band of murderers? What makes you think I would agree to this?”

“Because you know what the Galaxy needs-- Order.”

“It needs time, Ben! To recuperate from the horrors of the past 70 years. Not another war!” Brighid sat up, her hands shaking. What would it feel like to wrap them around Ben’s throat and squeeze and squeeze until she felt nothing but his cold, dead skin beneath her fingertips?

“ _ Yes _ ,” Ben purred. “You feel it.”

“Stay away from me,” Brighid growled. This wasn’t right. She wanted to kill him. She needed to kill him. That would save her-- save him-- save the Galaxy. But at what cost? 

Ben slunk closer, to where their noses almost touched.   


“Why are you doing this, Ben? What happened? What made you like this?”

“This… this has always been inside of me. I have just accepted my true fate.”

“Oh, Ben. This isn’t you. I know you..  _ I-I-I know you _ , Ben.” Brighid asserted. “Let me go. Let me go,  _ please _ .”

“I can’t let you go.”

“Why? I can’t become what you want me to,” she argued. “What else could you want from me?”

“Love me… that’s all I ask of you,” he whispered. “Everything else will come. Just…  _ love me _ , and come with me. I can help you see the truth.”

Her stomach dropped. Love? Was this love that she was feeling? It clawed at her insides like a parasite, and wrapped it’s meaty hands around her heart. Ben’s eyes bore into hers, pleading with her to give in. To take his hand and enter into this new life the Supreme Leader planned for them. To love him, and accept him.

Brighid took Ben’s hand. He pulled her closer, their chest touching; hers wet from the rain, and his hard from the metal plates covering his new black tunic. She couldn’t help but sink into his warmth, wanting to bury herself in his arms. Ben nudged his nose against hers as his gaze lowered to her lips. 

“Join us,” he begged. “I need you beside me.”

Brighid sighed. She placed her palm against Ben’s face, and shuddered as he leaned into her touch. Is this what love felt like? Was she capable of this? What about Luke, and the others? What would happen to them if she said yes? Oh,  _ stars _ , she wanted to say yes. She could give in to her anger, let it consume her, and fuel her power. What would it be like-- their new life. Would they finally be free?

“What will happen to us?”

“The Supreme Leader will teach us, in ways Luke and the others were too afraid to see, and with Faolan dead, you will lead his army-- with me by your side. We will be all-powerful. No one will stop us.”

“Against the Resistance,” she added. The fog of her anger lifting. She couldn’t kill Leia, or Han, or Ba’er. She couldn’t. “We will fight against the Resistance, and _ your family _ . You ask me to join the ones that murdered  _ my mother _ ?”

“Yes, they must all see the error in their ways. The Galaxy needs order. We will give it to them.”

“There will be no freedom…”

“Freedom? We will rule over freedom!” Ben asserted.

“Oh,  _ Ben _ ,” Brighid choked. “You’re so naive.”

Brighid ignited Ben’s saber, the blue the same color as her eyes, and in one short stroke, slid it into his chest. She felt it rip through his body, extinguishing the love he felt for her in one fell swoop. Ben collapsed in her arms, his hands grasping down onto her forearms, but it did nothing. She felt the life pour out of him, soaking her in grief and betrayal.

She did not cry. She did not waver. Brighid stood from the floor, and Ben’s body rolled onto his back. She did not glance at him as she limped towards the door, saber in hand. Her gaze firmly on the path ahead of her; not wanting to remember his face as it was now. She would remember him the way she wanted to, but not like this. 

Brighid limped out of the First Order vessel. Overhead a dozen or so Dornean ships rattled, and shot at the First Order soldiers. The blasts shaking each step she took towards the Resistance. The First Order soldiers fled to their ships. The one with Ben’s body inside lifted off moments later. She did not turn around to watch it disappear. 

Her fingers struggled with the hook holding Faolan’s saber to her waist, but eventually managed to get the saber out of the holster. Brighid lifted it to her face, methodically fiddling with the switch. Should she get rid of it? 

As an answer, the First Order ships corralled above the Jedi Temple. All Brighid could do is watch as they bombed, and destroyed her home. It was over in a matter of seconds, the stone crumbled to ash, and her sabers presumably lost in the fire. Everything she’d worked for in the past 12 years was gone in an instant. Brighid’s knees wobbled, the emotions of fear and sadness replacing the anger she felt before. 

“Brighid!” Leia shouted. 

Brighid reattached the saber to her side. Leia ran into her moments later, wrapping her arms around Brighid in a tight hug, before pulling her towards the ship. Brighid found herself unable to fight with her, even clinging tighter to Leia’s hand as they entered the Millennium Falcon. Han, Chewie and the remaining Resistance Guards hovered inside. They all looked expectantly at Brighid and Leia.

“Where’s Ben?” Leia asked, whispering in Brighid’s ear.

“Dead.”

Leia deflated, her grasp on Brighid wavering. 

“Are… are you sure?”

Brighid nodded, her head slowly moving up and down. The muscles of her back screaming with each move she made. The adrenaline seeping out of her system in waves. She’d fall unconscious soon. 

Leia held tighter onto Brighid’s body, pulling her through the ship, and lay her down on a long, narrow seat. She took out a syringe filled with a opaque liquid from a box on the table beside the seat, and inserted it into Brighid’s upper arm. 

“You’ll be okay,” Leia soothed. “We’ll take care of you.”

Leia took a step away from Brighid.

“Where’s Luke? I… I can’t feel him. Where is he?” Brighid asked, frantically. Her mind sought out Luke’s calming presence, but all it found was silence, a deafening silence. He wasn’t dead. She’d know if he was dead. She would have felt it. But, the Force was too quiet. Something happened. Something bigger than Faolan and Ben’s deaths.

“He’s gone.” Leia said. 

“Where? Is he alive? Did they take him? What about the others? The Younglings, and Padawans? Ba’er?”

“Shhhh,” Leia soothed, pushing back Brighid’s soaked hair. “Rest. This will all be waiting for you when you wake.”

“Leia, _ please _ , is Luke dead?”

“No…” Leia paused. She took a deep breath, her shoulders rising nearly to her ears, before she turned back to face Brighid. There were tears in her eyes, and Brighid’s stomach collapsed in on itself. “He left… He left us. Didn’t say where, or for how long, just took his ship and left.”

“W-why?”

“I don’t know.”

Brighid let her head fall back onto the seat. Her hands shook as she pulled the blanket Chewbacca placed over her closer to her chin. The Millennium Falcon shuttered to life, and Leia left her side. Brighid could hear them talking down the hallway, but found herself incapable of caring enough to actually listen. 

“He left,” Brighid whispered. “He left.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As of right now I am starting work on a sequel, but don't expect it anytime soon. This story took me the whole summer to write, and I'm way more busy/stressed now than I was then. So, thank you again for reading and if you want to follow me on tumblr my username is: cuddlydragons. Send me questions/asks there to remind me to work on the sequel, or if you have any questions/comments about this story!
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> <3


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